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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 4

(801 Posts)
NatzCNL Sun 12-Feb-12 20:26:03

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to concieve after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
Can'tdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
Lisbeth Salander - baby boy 7/11
Stormbird – George 24/07/11
Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12

Bellasblankexpression Sat 27-Jul-19 00:15:26

Is there a new version of this thread? I’m pregnant after a tmfr at 20 weeks due to a severe heart defect. Have just had a cardio fetal scan at 16 weeks and although heart looks good and normal, there was “borderline” fluid around it (apparently fluid is normal but it should be within certain parameters and this is slightly on the borderline). Although consultant stressed she doesn’t think it’s anything to worry about, I’m having bloods done for torch screening Incase of infection and am absolutely beside myself.
Would be really handy to have an active thread!

jena19 Thu 18-Jul-19 09:34:20

hi ladies its me i just post few weeks ago .. on last monday we have the result and they found nothing no chromosomal or genetic or infection the consultant said it just happened we don't know why but it happened .. so now i'm really don't i should be had relief or be more sad (relief as no cause what's happened to my baby or sad because its unfair that just happened and we found it by accident in 32 weeks scan (sever ventriculomegaly 22-25 ) ..

ghislaine Thu 04-Jul-19 09:37:31

I had a sudden urge to check this thread the other day - and there you were with your news Natz! I am sending you lots of warm and calming thoughts for an uneventful pregnancy and healthy baby. Don't worry about your age - both my healthy pregnancies were unaffected by my age at the time (38 and 40).

Jena19, welcome to this thread, and just wanted to say I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. Termination of a wanted pregnancy is such a difficult experience. Even now (8 years later) it still affects me in ways I don't always anticipate. All I can say is don't fight your emotions and take it as slowly as you need to.

Treaclepie19 Sat 29-Jun-19 22:11:22

Gosh I wish this thread was still going.
TTC after a TFMR is hard.

jena19 Tue 25-Jun-19 11:51:52

hi everyone ... i am new here , i had medical termination at 36 weeks for my angel daughter, it was devastated and still it really hard when you have to live with it now, i know it was best for her and for our family but i am keep thinking why that happened and we discovered that by accident when i had my scan 28 weeks for my low lying placenta and the scanner found my baby brain had severe ventriculomegaly after many scans and mri and see the consultant they said the outcome for the baby is severe disability they don't know what it is .. so we had the most hard bad time in our life to decide we go for termination before the baby born we had to do it as soon as possible before i go in labor ... i am know i don't know what to do we're still waiting for post mortem test but nothing till now ,, my feeling is just go down that i am thinking this time of the last year i fall pregnant and it was really wanted especially when we found its girl it was hard pregnancy with sever all day sickness and dehydration but now i don't know when i see some women pregnant our had babies especially the same age as my daughter
i really devastated now i want baby but it need big courage to go again in pregnancy with my severe morning sickness and the worries about the baby ,, please any advice to help me ):

AugustRanger Sat 08-Jun-19 09:40:47

So pleased to hear your wonderful news Natz. Hope all is going well xx

NatzCNLS Fri 24-May-19 20:20:56

I’ve not been on this site in a good few years now. For anyone who remembers me, we lost our precious Cara in September 2010, Sienna was born September 2011, she’s now a bubbly, happy, beautiful 7 year old.
Well, this morning I got a very unplanned positive pregnancy test!! I thought our family was complete with 3DDs but it seems that isn’t the case.
We lost Cara when I was 29, I’m 38 now expecting number 4, and I’m pretty scared as I know the risks increase with age. Still getting my head around the test result this morning, and despite being worried, I’m quite excited too x

AugustRanger Wed 30-Jan-19 10:40:24

* pain of losing a pain!! I can't even type today - obvs meant to say pain of losing a child 😔

LuckyAugust Wed 30-Jan-19 10:20:55

Its such a long time since anyones posted on this thread. 5 years tomorrow since our awful 12 week scan where we found out our dd had a life limiting medical condition and even if she did survive the birth the prognosis for her future was bleak. Five years have passed and even though I went on to have another healthy son it still hurts to remember what I went through back then. I'm having a particularly horrible time in my life at the moment and dealing with that and this anniversary is hard. Sending love to anyone else going through the pain of losing a pain x

LuckyAugust Mon 30-Mar-15 18:25:44

Thinking of you today mrsbigz thanks thanks thanks thanks x

mrsbigz Sun 29-Mar-15 21:17:03

hello ladies, some of you may remember me - I gained invaluable support from this thread 4 years ago when we lost our little girl who had t21 and a very large cystic hygroma.
it's her anniversary tomorrow which is always such a bittersweet time for us. had the diagnosis been 'simply' t21 we would have continued with the pregnancy, but the specialists we saw at the time were so concerned about the amount of fluid around her body (from her head right down to the bottom of her spine) that they couldn't rule out brain damage or severe learning difficulties as a result of it. we made the decision that was best for us and or young family at the time, but not a day goes by when I don't imagine "what if". the pain certainly lessens over time, but it never goes away. our two ds's didn't know about it at the time but they do know now that they had a sister, and my eldest came with me today to visit her grave, bless him, with all the questions that an innocent 7yr old has. I'm lucky to have had another ds since, and like to think of him as a gift from our angel girl. than you again to the many wonderful woman on here who held my (virtual) hands over a number of weeks, who let me vent and cry and shout about the unfairness of it all. I'll never forget you, and no doubt will be drawn to this thread at this time each year for many years to come xxx

LuckyAugust Sat 21-Mar-15 16:15:48

Congratulations offbeat girl- that is such fantastic news smile . I've been popping onto the thread daily awaiting your news and so thrilled for you. Take lots of care xxx thanks thanks

offbeatgirl Sat 21-Mar-15 15:42:34

Just popping on to the thread to announce the birth of my gorgeous little son, who made his arrival on Wednesday night via an unplanned c-section. I absolutely smitten and can't stop staring at him or cuddling him. So happy to have him in my arms at last. x

LuckyAugust Sat 28-Feb-15 11:31:41

Hi Jodie - sorry I can't help with your query but you might want to google 'Unique'. There an organisation who help parents and research rare chromosome disorders. I'm sure I've read something on there about the issues you're asking about. Might be worth contacting them for advice x

JodieMacdonald31 Sun 22-Feb-15 14:30:38

Hi all, not sure if this is the correct place to post.

I have a 8 year old son, in early pregnancy I got high risk down syndrome. I had a amino, that came back with a balanced translocation.
Me & his dad had test. We didn't carry a translocation.
I saw a consultant who advised me to terminate at 22 weeks, but he couldn't say what effects the balanced translation would have.
I went ahead and had my son, he's autistic. But to me perfectly normal, in mainstream school, got friends, really bright & happy ect ect.
I now have a new partner who wants a child.
What I'm asking really is would I be likely to have a baby with another balanced translocation?

LuckyAugust Sat 14-Feb-15 19:44:26

Thank you so much mrsbigz. How lovely that you have 3 boys too. I'm absolutely loving being a mummy to 3 and feel as though life has taken a total turn, I didn't think I would feel this happy again. Hope everyone else is ok. Getting closer to your due date offbeatgirl, will eagerly await your news....... xx

mrsbigz Sat 14-Feb-15 00:50:15

congratulations lucky smile wonderful news to see when I just popped back on for a read through, I knew you were due around now!!!!!
as a mum of 3 boys (& and angel dd) I completely get it, I still wonder what my life would have been like with her... but if course then I wouldn't have ds3 and can't imagine life without him. and with 3 boys in your life there is so much fun and laughter and noise........ enjoy it (particularly the newborn cuddles!) xxx

LuckyAugust Fri 06-Feb-15 14:44:03

Thanks so much Offbeatgirl. Absolutely loving being a mummy to 3 and so pleased I got my happy ending. You will too- hope you're doing ok. Not much longer to go....... x

offbeatgirl Sun 01-Feb-15 18:58:12

Thanks for popping back for the update, and many congratulations on the birth of your DS3, LuckyAugust. That's lovely news smile

It's always great to hear when there's a happy outcome after a TFMR, even though the loss will always stay with us on one level. I hope you're recovering well after your section, and can now focus your energies on raising your family. Take care, and enjoy newborn cuddles flowers x

LuckyAugust Thu 29-Jan-15 21:46:49

Hi everyone, I am thrilled to announce the birth of my beautiful DS born on Monday. His arrival has healed me more than I actually thought possible. Whilst I won't ever forget or wonder how life with our DD would have turned out, instead I've been blessed with my amazing son. I finally feel like my family is complete and chose to be sterilised after my section. I've had baby making on the brain for 6 years (3 DS's, 1 miscarriage at 6 weeks and tfmr at just over 15 weeks). Its been such a rollercoaster but now its the start of a new chapter watching our children grow up. I feel so blessed and lucky. Hope you're doing ok too Offbeatgirl. Not too much longer left for you. I know what you mean about explaining what number baby this is and most definitely about being obsessed with baby movements. Up until the point J was put in my arms I still thought something would go wrong. But he's here and its my time now to move forward. I'll always pop back to this thread and can't wait until you announce your fantastic news. You're nearly there thanks thanks thanks thanks x

offbeatgirl Wed 21-Jan-15 15:53:01

Do let us know when your little son has arrived - three boys sounds like a lot of fun! smile I've got no idea whether I'm expecting a girl or boy, but as DH is the youngest of 4 boys (and has 2 nephews, but no nieces), I'd bet on a boy.

I's hard to balance the excitement of preparing for our little one in March, and the grief of facing the anniversary of losing our DD. Without her loss, we wouldn't be expecting DC2. People also keep asking me, 'is this your first?' - and I never know whether to answer that honestly, or just say 'yes': it seems a bit unfair to answer a well-meaning question with an answer that might make people feel uncomfortable, but it also seems wrong to deny the existence of DD. Even the midwives sometimes refer to this as my first baby, despite the TFMR being in the case notes. It's like being in a strange limbo-land: I have no idea how the birth experience will compare this time round. All I know is that losing my daughter has made this baby seem all the more precious; I can't bear the thought of losing this baby, and I'm a bit obsessive about monitoring baby movements. I refused to buy anything for the baby before Christmas in case things went wrong, but I snapped afterwards when I saw some bargains in the sales, and have now picked up most of the essentials.

I'm working until late February and while it's pretty quiet now at work, I expect it to be pretty hectic from next week. Maybe that's a good thing, and will keep me distracted? xx

LuckyAugust Wed 21-Jan-15 11:24:17

Thank you so much Offbeatgirl thanks thanks thanks thanks . It feels so amazing to be almost at the end, especially when I think back to this time last year when we're approaching the anniversary of it all going horrifically wrong. It has been a total emotional rollercoaster! Its weird but this last few weeks I've felt guilty that I haven't been thinking about our DD more. I've been imagining 3 boys and how wonderful that would be. It would have also been wonderful to have 2 boys and our DD but it didn't work out and it feels horrid to think I wouldn't be so excited about meeting our new son if that hadn't of happened last year. I'm not sure if that makes sense hmm . I won't forget the pain and heartbreak of last year but I know that the arrival of our DS will make it easier to remember. I'm still scared and won't relax till he's here but I'm so grateful I got the chance to do this again. My nerves (and DH) won't let me do it again though and I am definitely getting my tubes tied straight after my section which I feel a huge sense of relief about- my family will be complete and I know I won't have to deal with that 9 months of worry again. I will certainly be a frequent visitor to this board still and will eagerly await your news. Do you know what you're having and are you ready? I finished work before christmas so getting to this point has totally dragged!!! Thanks again for your lovely message and will hopefully be posting an update on Monday xxx

offbeatgirl Wed 21-Jan-15 10:15:20

Lucky, I just wanted to wish you all the best for the arrival of your little one on the 26th (just five days to go now!) I'm sure it'll be a huge relief to hold him/her in your arms flowers Do pop back on the board afterwards and let us know how it goes.

I'm jumping the hurdles in the other direction - I lost my little daughter back in February last year, and DC2 is due in March. It'll be some emotional rollercoaster, but I can't wait to meet my LO.

Hope everyone on the thread is doing ok x

LuckyAugust Sun 11-Jan-15 11:06:04

Bumping in case needed......... Hi everyone, happy new year! Hi to Linspins and Natz too and thanks for coming back. Well its almost a year since we were about to go through our horror - 31st January 2014 was the day it all started....... I'm hoping the anniversary of this date and then remembering the horrible time that followed will be eased by the arrival of my little one who is expected to be delivered via c-section on the 26th January. Eeeek 2 weeks tomorrow. I don't think I've truly relaxed this time round and there is not a chance I am putting myself through this again!!! Sending big hugs to everyone thanks thanks thanks thanks

linspins Thu 25-Dec-14 14:07:48

Ladies, I don't really post any more, but you will see my name at the beginning on the thread list of babies born. Almost five years ago we were thrilled at the arrival of Franklin, and today he is busy building his first Star Wars Lego.
We have two angels looking down from heaven, and a darling eight year old dd.
I wanted to say a happy Christmas to you all, and wish you a peaceful and wonderful new year. I am thankful at this time of year for what I have...two children here with me making Christmas day magical. I miss and love my angel babies daily, but the terrible all consuming pain dulls and eventually lessens to a manageable level!
Thinking of you all, sending love.

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