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(34 Posts)
PloddingOnOn Mon 17-Oct-11 12:22:18

I had a myomectomy surgery for fibroids in November 2008 at the age of 27.
I am 29 years old and getting married in November. We are hoping to fall pregnant soon.

I am TERRIFIED of natural birth - from the myomectomy (the scar is about 15cm long) and from a psychological perspective. I have never wanted to give natural birth - aside from years of sexual abuse, the thought of it literally terrifies me in all aspects.

Any advice? This is a terrible fear for me - I would actually not have a child if I were forced to give natural birth. What are the chances that I could choose a caesarian birth?

hooleyh Sun 23-Sep-12 16:49:28

Please help I am in the same situation and don't have a clue how to go about it all. Regards h

PloddingOnOn Fri 28-Oct-11 15:08:58

Yep that's the general feeling of things. I don't rush into anything without doing so much research, my OH thinks he is a test tube.

He supports c-section though and is happy to pay for it if the need arises.

Thanks for your feedback though!

glimmer Tue 25-Oct-11 09:16:57

I think you are doing the right thing. Get as much information as you need and find out what's right for you. With the myomectomy it sounds that they might suggest a Ceasarian anyway?! But it is good to work on your fears as well and get counselling. Always a good idea.

PloddingOnOn Wed 19-Oct-11 07:44:49

A natural birth is always a consideration. They may not allow me to have a natural birth anyway

I just need to ensure that if the need arises, I have a choice.

My body - my choice. Kind of thing.

I did consider a water birth for a couple months but the long term "effects" of natural birth concern me more than the effects of a c-section.

catsareevil Tue 18-Oct-11 21:07:15

schmee - that may be your opinion. But please dont leap onto my posts and assume that I am responsible for that. The post that you seem to have taken exception to was my 4th one on this thread, and the first 3 solely dealt with the practicalities of obtaining a CS, so hardly dismissive of her wish.

pARGHssTheTwiglets Tue 18-Oct-11 20:58:05

Oh and please don't worry about the idea of having internals during pregnancy - you can refuse them.

pARGHssTheTwiglets Tue 18-Oct-11 20:57:09

I have tokophobia and I requested an elective C-section and was given one. Do all your research into your legal rights and go armed with evidence to your consultant and keep on and on and on. The first reaction you will get from medical people is a very patronising "oh, everybody's nervous dear" hmm but you need to get them to take you seriously and if you can do that then I can't see why they would refuse you. If a consultant refused to give you a csection then s/he is obliged to refer you to another consultant for a second opinion. Good luck!

schmee Tue 18-Oct-11 20:49:36

Catsareevil - I think a lot of people, including those in the medical profession, dismiss tokophobia and lump it in with the natural anxiety that most women probably feel about natural childbirth. The OP has said that she has been sexually abused in the past which often leads to tokophobia.

It's a really really serious condition and is not something that just disappears when the pregnancy hormones kick in.

schmee Tue 18-Oct-11 20:42:23

Changing the subject slightly - OP you may be able to get the csection covered by medical insurance if the fibroid surgery necessitates a csection in the opinion of your consultant.

catsareevil Tue 18-Oct-11 20:41:00

That was posted before I saw your second post. You have completely misinterpreted my attitude. I was saying that I have seen people change their minds about what they want because that is the case. If the OP is able to access a private CS to guarantee herself that option if she wants it then that is great, and keeps all options open. I dont think she should have a 'road to damascus conversion'. hmm

schmee Tue 18-Oct-11 20:40:03

Now catsareevil - you have misunderstood.

catsareevil Tue 18-Oct-11 20:36:22

She doesnt have to keep an open mind. If she can guarantee herself a private section then she can have either option (if a VB would be safe for her given her medical history). She can opt out of a CS anytime she likes, so it is hardly restricting her options.

schmee Tue 18-Oct-11 20:35:37

EdithWeston - your post was sensitively worded, and I can see the value of a holistic midwife led approach. It was more catsareevil's post that reminded me of some of the attitudes I've encountered.

EdithWeston Tue 18-Oct-11 20:30:18

schmee - you have misunderstood.

schmee Tue 18-Oct-11 20:29:11

I can understand asking the OP to keep an open mind, but I don't see why she should. She may not change her mind during pregnancy and it's a bit bloody late then. Having spent most of my pregnancy being bullied by people who thought I should have some road to Damascus conversion, I feel a little bit protective towards the OP on this.

catsareevil Tue 18-Oct-11 19:51:54

You might be surprised how you feel when you do get pregnant. I know a few people who have changed from wanting a CS before to wanting a VB. But if at the moment you need that the certainty of a guaranteed CS then its good to have that. smile

EdithWeston Tue 18-Oct-11 19:05:35

I really hope you find a team who will inspire confidence in you throughout pregnancy and delivery.

Scary as it seems now, don't write off any delivery options yet. I can see you wouldn't contemplate pregnancy without finding in advance a way to secure a c-section. But do also research idc all the possibilities - holistic mid-wife led care might be something to consider too.

PloddingOnOn Tue 18-Oct-11 13:38:44

Oh and I have emailed some hospitals who have sent prices for opting to have a c-section so I guess there wouldn't be an issue if they have sent me quotes already?

You guys are fab - thanks smile

catsareevil Tue 18-Oct-11 13:33:39

The Portland Hospital website makes a distinction between 'medical' and 'elective' sections which makes me think that my 'elective' they mean maternal request.
There is a price list on there too, if you wanted an idea of costing.

PloddingOnOn Tue 18-Oct-11 13:28:34

Shew thanks for the responses. We are going to save up in case we can't get the NHS c-section

Also, it's not just psychology

I had a myomectomy - which is the same surgery as a c-section and I have the same cut along my stomach. I would also worry about the risks involved in natural birth with the scar. I liked that surgery - and I had the "invasive" scans. I battled with those but there you go. I suppose do enough of those and I am okay-ish with the scans now

EdithWeston Mon 17-Oct-11 22:22:06

Whether or not people here think there are "good grounds", this is not an area where you can say with certainty that every NHS region/trust/hospital/firm would do this. It is unfair and wrong to suggest that you can definitely get a c-section on NHS for this.

schmee Mon 17-Oct-11 22:10:30

You need to talk to your GP in advance of getting pregnant and ask for a referral for counselling. When you have your booking appointment after you get pregnant you need to discuss this with the midwife, provide any supporting evidence of your tokophobia and ask for help in finding the best consultant to help you.

Many consultants do not take tokophobia seriously, so you should be prepared to pay if you can't get the treatment you deserve on the NHS. You will be able to find a private consultant who is supportive of you having a c-section.

Please be aware though that you may be asked to have internal exams during your pregnancy and you may want to have a think about how you would handle these if it arose.

Good luck and congratulations on your forthcoming nuptials!!

thisisyesterday Mon 17-Oct-11 22:04:21

presumaly because you are paying someone to deliver your baby, not specifically to carry out a risky surgery on you.

to clarify though, I think the OP has good grounds for getting a c-section regardless of whether she pays or not.

thisisyesterday Mon 17-Oct-11 22:03:40

i think you would have to question potential surgeons very carefully about it.
it's MAJOR surgery, and they have to try and ensure the best outcome for mum and baby which means they won't necessarily do it just because you want it.

as I say, I've seen a few posts on here by people who have assumed that by paying privately they will be allowed to choose a c-section and it then hasn't been the case.

EdithWeston Mon 17-Oct-11 21:44:56

Provision of c-section in these circumstances on the NHS is not a certainty.

If you want to be sure, you will need to arrange it privately.

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