Feeling sad a lot

[Imstruggling]

Hi..
It's my first baby and I am constantly depressed. I'm also studying and it's effecting my studies. And my relationship... I also feel really ugly. And I've noticed stretch marks on my boobs and my nipples are what I consider to be "huge" (I always had smaller boobs and was on the skinnier side)
I feel like my body will never be the same. And I will be ugly for the rest of my life, and my belly will sag and my boobs will as well, and I'll be "loose" down there...and my DH won't be attracted to me anymore.. I'm still really young

I cry hysterically a lot. And scream. Scream for no reason other than the fact that I can't deal with all the pain I'm going through.. not physical pain just emotional. I scream like something really bad has happened to me, or I'm being attacked. But I'm not.. and I feel guilty because I'm putting my baby through all of this as well as my DH 🙁 and it makes me hate myself

I just needed to write all of this somewhere. I just feel so alone.. like no one will ever understand me.

[MochiBean]

I didn't want to read and run as I noticed you haven't had replies and I've been there. Very recently.

First of all. You will be okay. Secondly, ask for help. Tell your midwife, health visitor or GP how you feel. They want you too, they are used to it and there is no shame in it. I am 3.4weeks postpartum and have only just stopped crying over everyone I speak to. No one has judged me for it. Don't be afraid to ask for help - it honestly makes the world of difference.

No your body will never be the same, but it's not ugly. Stretch makes will fade and your breasts will reduce again over time. But no, they probably won't look like they did before you gave birth. However, it also won't put your husband off you. My poor husband has seen the very worst of me during and since giving birth to our son. I tell him I have no idea how he still finds me attractive. But you have given him a child. He has seen you do one of the hardest things in the world. To him you are brave and strong. Because you are.

Please look after yourself, and don't be afraid to talk about how you feel, you'll be surprised at how many other women you know felt the same after they had given birth xx