can u have pnd after 18months?

[icklegb2]

(long post)
hi ladies... where to begin?
I can't pinpoint it but I've been feeling low for a long time now (over 6 months ) and I'm worried .
I've got 2 boys, one almost 4 and one 18 months old, mum life is hard generally with tantrums, lack of sleep (youngest an awful sleeper) and the monotony of routine ect but all in all my life isn't bad. I have a loving partner and we're getting married soon, he is busy alot with work but i get time off, I have friends and close family to talk to
But... Im emotional and snappy and have bugger all motivation. feel like I'm not the best version of me and I can't snap out of it. i find myself crying when my partner leaves for work and dreading the day ahead. i cant gather the effort to do fun things with my boys as i know it will be hard work (i dont drive and have the boys on my own alot)
I had severe depression/anxiety years ago and was on medication but when I got pregnant it turned my life around and I got alot better and came off medication but I'm noticing similarities in my low feelings and behaviour.
I don't know if I'm just stuck in a rut or there's something else going on and feel like it's a bit far down the line 4 pnd?
any advice or similar feelings/stories much appreciated. thank you x

[KaliforniaDreamz]

Yes you can. in fact some GPs notice a surge in PND amongst women around this time xx

[foolonthehill]

You can definitely get "delayed" PND.

It's horrible and is not a reflection on your ability as a parent, the support you have or your life circumstances.

I'd suggest you get to your GP and talk over treatment options. Grab all help on offer with both hands. It will get better.

sorry you are feeling this way. Parenting is hard enough when we are on top form.

[icklegb2]

thank you I needed this, was disheartened when no one replied. I have been to the GP and have been referred so on a waiting list which could take 3+ months but I feel better for accepting that I need help and opening up about it. x

[MountainPeakGeek]

Yes, my PND was diagnosed when DS2 was 18 months old. I had been low for a good while before that, but that was when it became severe enough to be obvious that I needed treatment. Hope you get seen sooner than 3+ months. Is that for talking therapy? Did your GP not advise trying medication in the meantime if you've needed it in the past?

[KaliforniaDreamz]

It might help you now though. i think once we get the 'Yes you're ill' nod from a GP people tend to step up and help. Is your partner supportive? that's a start. if you have the money to put in help at home that wll help. you need time and space to get better. much love to you xxx

[icklegb2]

yes 3 months waiting list for talking therapy but I'm still waiting to hear bk aboit an initial assessment 😕 I was reluctant to go back on medication as I was on it for years before but I havn't ruled it out completely. my partner is supportive but as he's never had depression I feel he doesn't fully get it. I've been feeling a bit more positive and determined to push through the bad days with my best face on but still get easily overwhelmed and knocked off balance sometimes over little thinks. Hopefully I will hear bk about some therapy soon x

[KaliforniaDreamz]

I want to reassure you that you will NOT feel like this forever. Having 3 young kids broke me but i am better now. You will be too. Things that helped me before i got meds and actual help:

-giving myself permission to step off the wheel for 10 minutes every afternoon. I put Abraham Hicks mediations on headphones and sat in a beanbag and promptly fell asleep for 5 full luxurious minutes.

-finally getting through to my DH that mess and noise is normal and not to make me feel i was failing by having an untidy counter etc.

-letting go of any unnecessary fights with pre schooler. (easier said than done).

-letting friends take a child off me for playdate/tea/park/cinema/sleepover - whatever. so i could be 1 child down and not have so much noise. (the noise broke me!)

-music - play it loud and often when you get the rage.

-imagine a camera crew following u around (again rage related).

-telling myself repeatedly 'all is well/ i am safe' despite feeling the opposite.

People who don't have crappy brain chemistry will never get it. don't try to convince ,them put your energy into healing yourself. you're doing reall,y really well and you WILL GET THROUGH THIS.

xxxx

[KaliforniaDreamz]

apologies for typos.

[icklegb2]

thank you soo much KaliforniaDreamz! ❤

[KaliforniaDreamz]

anytime darling xxx motherhood is really hard xxx and they love you even when you're struggling xxxx

[KaliforniaDreamz]

Hi icklegb2 how ru today?

[icklegb2]

I've had a lovely weekend as it was my sons 4th birthday and we had a party. I was quite stressed about it but it went smoothly and everyone had a good time so really happy ( and slightly relieved it's over ) now just focusing on our wedding in 5 weeks 😮 . Hope you had a lovely weekend too x

[KaliforniaDreamz]

Re-reading your post makes me think hormones are at play here. You felt better with the happy pregnant hormones, prob did while feeeding too. do you get bad PMT?
Look up Prof Studds theory about women and hormonal depression.

just a theory xx

HBD to your little boy x

[icklegb2]

hmm I've been wondering about hormones too as I have the contraceptive implant and went on the pill a while back to sort my period out but it made my moods even worse. my plan is to have the implant removed as my partner is going to have the snip (for contraceptive reasons and so i dont have to have anymore chemical hormomes) so going to wait till then. I've never had many periods in the last 4/5 years because of the pill/ being pregnant then breastfeeding but when I do I've noticed bad pmt. Hopefully it won't take too long for my partner to get the procedure , he's seeing the doctor tomorrow for an assessment.
Thanks for the thought I think it is definitely playing a part in it all.x