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I feel really alone in my pregnancy

(6 Posts)
Twinkletoes2018 Wed 14-Mar-18 01:22:19

I was delighted to be pregnant it was all I wanted I love my daughter to pieces and couldn't wait for her to be a sister but the last 12 weeks have been the worst of my life. My parents were not too pleased I was pregnant again despite me being a good mum. My dad said well you know I don't see why you needed another and my mum who has been distant with me for 5 years now upset me by saying she wouldn't come and stay for a few days while my husband went abroad because I was selfish (I'd asked her because I am diabetic and was scared to be told I might have to start insulin while my husband was away) I was upset my husband prioritised his holiday when I felt so ill and have been off sick since he got back. I've lost a stone due to the combination of having to cut out sugar, constant nausea and the stress of falling out with my mum. I can't even bring myself to speak to her because I've felt so let down in recent years. My sister is pregnant yet has had previous losses so doesn't want to talk to me at the moment. I have support from my cpn and they have been helpful in listening but it's not the same as having family who are there for you. I'm worried that I'll get postnatal depression if I'm not enjoying the pregnancy at all. Has anyone else felt low due to having just an awful first trimester and did it get better?

IlikemyTeahot Wed 14-Mar-18 03:02:39

You poor thing....((virtual hugs))

I'm sorry your family sound so selfish. (I'm seething about your husband - may he be struck down with the runs)

I had a really crappy time of it when preg with DC3 and I'm surprised I didnt end up with PND (again) I dont know if it's because I had lowered my expectations by that point. I also felt extremely alone, my family circumstances at the time were not that great either.
Throughout all the negative crap I realised I had to protect my own mental health for the sake of my other DC and to help me mentally prepare for the new arrival. I made myself a rule that If I had a negative thought I would have to counter with a positive...maybe silly but really worked for me (having had previous experience with PND I know how easy it can be to put yourself back in that negative headspace)

Please, Please don't be afraid to ask for help from your community. You should go to childrens centre and see if you can find some advice there. No one will think any less of you they are a great source of knowledge and experience and can signpost you to all kinds of support. It seems like you could really do with some flowers

Maybe it might make you feel better to write your family all a ranty letter telling them how disappointed you are in their behaviour. (Even if you don't send them-but I kind of hope you do)
You never know it might shock them into realising just how their negative behaviour is affecting you.

With regard to the diabetes is there any way you could request a nurse/carer spend those evenings with you or visit to assist with administering insulin.

Twinkletoes2018 Wed 14-Mar-18 09:27:48

Thank you I was setting about my husband too when he came back from his holiday he then moaned he felt tired when I felt incredibly ill and have since been off work for two weeks. I might write my parents a letter it may make me feel better they were not very supportive to me as a child I'm not sure why I expected it to be any different as an adult but it still really hurts that at a time in my life when I feel I need family they are nowhere to be seen

Twinkletoes2018 Wed 14-Mar-18 09:28:24

Seething not settling

SidSparrow Wed 14-Mar-18 20:56:28

It's not easy but sometimes emotionally you have to let people go and accept that they'll never be how you want them to be. I went through that with my Mum last year. Was let down by her in a really big way, again! And thought enough is enough. We still speak but I don't expect anything from her emotionally and never will again. I no longer put myself in a position where I can be hurt or let down. She is on the outskirts of my life and that's best for me and my family. It's not easy knowing that outside of my partner and child to be my family are pretty useless but better that than banging your head off a brick wall over and over and feeling hurt.

Strength is something that grows. Make a stand or even just a promise to yourself that you won't let these people get to you, and from that your inner strength will grow. If you concern yourself with your happiness then eventually that's what will come and how these people around you think, feel or act will have little or no bearing on you.

Best wishes.

Twinkletoes2018 Tue 20-Mar-18 15:28:27

Sidsparrow that's good advice thankyou

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