antenatal depression- scared and can't cope

[HollyDolly15]

I hope there's someone out there who will understand, who's maybe gone through the same but come out the other side ok.
I'm suffering severe depression. I have no motivation to do anything. I feel no joy or pleasure in life. It takes all of my energy just to get showered and dressed in the morning. I go out for a walk every day with my 16 yr old DD but feel like I'm a robot, not really enjoying anything.
I'm 23weeks pregnant. I'm terrified if I still feel this depressed when the baby is born, there is no way I'd be fit to look after it. I can't cook or clean or anything, I feel too depressed. After we've been out for a walk, I'll sit on the sofa for hours, doing nothing, just waiting for bedtime.
I started antidepressants 4 days ago. I'm scared they won't help and that I'll be just as depressed when the baby is born and unable to care for it. My partner walked out on me two months ago, so it's just me and DD at home. I'm scared I'll end up in the mother and baby unit because I won't be able to look after my baby. I'm scared the depression might get even worse. My own mind scares me and I'm anxious about being anxious, and depressed about being depressed.
I don't think my family appreciate how bad I am when I tell them.
Has anyone else experienced the same? Did antidepressants help? Were you ok when the baby was born? Have you coped ok looking after the baby?
I really really need some help and support and for someone to tell me it will be OK.
Thank you xx

[dede124]

Hi op I'm so sorry your feeling like this. I struggled all the way through my pregnancy I started taking anti depressants at around 16-18 weeks. I took antidepressants prior to pregnancy and weened myself off them once I found out I was pregnant but I went back on them with the advice from my midwife. I was so anxious about everything and thought I had made a massive mistake, I woke up every morning with a sinking feeling of regret. I think the antidepressants helped take the edge off but generally I wouldn't say I felt that much better but I just came to terms with it towards the end. You have done well to speak to your family and express your feelings even though they may not understand you are still admitting how you feel. I kept my feelings to myself a lot because I was embarrassed that I felt the way I did and I painted a smile on to everyone. I did speak to my partner about it but he didn't really understand which made it worse. I was so terrified that I would have post natal depression and not love my baby, I felt so guilty...

Post birth the first couple of weeks were pretty tough the baby blue hit me quite hard I was crying uncontrollably but I think that was mainly down to hormones, lack of sleep, overwhelmed with visitors (which I didn't want) and being unable to breastfeed and feeling like I'd failed. My baby girl is 1 month old tomorrow and I feel like I am bonding more and more with her everyday, it's still hard and I do feel down sometimes but it doesn't effect how I feel about her I think I am just prone to depression. Pregnancy is so hard and it has put me off having another baby. Be kind to yourself and speak to your midwife about how your feeling it is quite common to feel this way.

I hope it's helped to hear that your not alone your doing well to get out the house everyday I couldn't even do that. Hope you feel better soon

[dede124]

Also give the antidepressants longer to work it usually takes about 2-3 weeks for them to get in your system