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user1485198606 Sun 22-Oct-17 18:54:32

sorry if this is long winded, perhaps actually writing it out will help rather than me looking for some magic answer which i know doesn't exist. I have a 5 month old daughter and have post natal depression. I have had depression on and off for many years. I have no relationship with my mother or only sister. I felt depressed in pregnancy and my partner was going through a messy divorce and fighting for custody of his 9 year old, he gained full custody when she was 4 due to her mother being an alcoholic. I love my daughter dearly but i cannot cope with her crying its now at the stage where i am living in my flat and he is living in his with my baby and his daughter and i am visiting. This is making me miserable, guilty, suicidal and feeling like i have no way out. We dont have any outside support. I did contact homestart but they were very unhelpful, and i felt, judgemental, could be my paranoia. I know motherhood is so tough but i never imagined my life like this i dont know whether im coming or going and my partner just doesn't seem to have a clue how to help or even if he cares, im unsure? i am so desperate to feel anything like normality and enjoy this precious time which i feel is slipping away. I have a cpn who just keeps telling me to get out but i have crippling anxiety so panic when im in public. My gp just seems to want to medicate me which i feel does have a place but i am getting worse. I suppose im just looking for any kind of advice really as i no longer know where to turn.

Cantchooseaname Sun 22-Oct-17 18:59:38

Depression is such a hard illness.
You are right, medication does have a place- if yours isn't effective, maybe go back to gp and ask for a review- there are lots of different drugs which may suit you better- things change, sometimes you need to try something different. This might give you the break you need to start getting a hold on things.
Maybe some talking therapy would help? Can your gp refer you? Maybe thinking about your relationship with your mum will help you with your relationship with your daughter.
Life as a mum is tough. Hang in there.
Samaritans will always listen.

user1485198606 Sun 22-Oct-17 19:05:54

Thank you for your reply, i am going to ring GP first thing, thinking of my mum all the time and trying better always

Cantchooseaname Sun 22-Oct-17 19:16:29

Gp is a good place to start.
You are doing the best for your little girl by getting help, and trying to sort it out.
Be kind to yourself.

Cantchooseaname Mon 23-Oct-17 14:15:07

I hope the go has been helpful and supportive.

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