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Problems with my partner (on my behalf)

(3 Posts)
tummytomummy Sat 07-Oct-17 11:25:51

Hello, I'm 12 weeks pregnant and just needed a bit of advise from an outside perspective.

I'm stuck in abit of a rut. Me and my partner have been on and off for 4 years. Usually together for 5/6 months and then I have chose to end the relationship due to "something being missing" this time around it felt different at the beginning, the feelings I had were a lot stronger and I felt so content with my relationship and him. However after being together 5 months again things started to change and I didn't feel the same anymore. A few weeks after this I found out I was pregnant, previously we had spoke about having a baby but then as my feelings changed so did my thoughts of wanting a baby and I would've rather waited. Anyway... long story short, I'm not 3 months pregnant and I can't stand being around my partner, I feel like I have no feelings towards him, no spark at all, I get irritated by him, and him giving me a kiss or touching me literally repulses mesad I feel like because I'm stuck in a relationship I don't want to be in, I'm not so happy about the baby, I've always wanted a baby and I do want the baby but I'm not jumping for joy and when we go baby shopping even just to have a look I'm not really that interested. I'm just feeling down because I don't know what to do, he is a great boyfriend, can't fault him and i know he'll be an amazing dad, I feel silly but I don't know whether it's my hormones playing a massive part, I don't know it's it's antenatal depression as I have suffered with depression over many years of my life as well. Also even if it's not my hormones I have a baby to think about and I don't want to be selfish and end the relationship but I'm just so unhappy.

Sorry about the long post but have any other mums felt like this?

Fruitcorner123 Sat 07-Oct-17 12:02:22

I haven't felt like this but if you have suffered from depression before I would suggest that is the place to start. Get some advice from your GP. Your feelings about your partner may be due to depression.

Breaking up with your partner during a pregnancy is a big big deal and I would strongly suggest you wait it out and see how you feel as time goes on. You will be left managing a new born baby alone and if you are prone to depression the risk of PND is increased if you are alone and have had a relationship break up. You will be grateful for your partners support in those early weeks and months.

But definitely see a medical professional as constantly changing your feelings in a relationship like that doesn't sound healthy and can't be doing you any good.

Bisset80 Thu 12-Oct-17 10:33:30

Hey huni,
I experienced this back in January, I was diagnosed with antenatal depression, I was the same anything he said pissed me off, couldn't even bare the thought of him touching me!! I refused to see him for 4 weeks, it was easy as I lived up north and he lived down south at the time.
I needed to take that time out and get myself back on track as I knew if he was around then we probably wouldn't be together today.
I would highly recommend speak to your doctor and make an appointment with talking therapies, if possible can you take a break from your partner at all?? Hope it all works out for you xxx

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