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Antenatal depression?

(5 Posts)
margaritaville7 Sat 15-Jul-17 10:38:53

I apologise in advance for sounding like an utterly spoilt brat but I'm really struggling to get my head around my 2nd pregnancy.

I'm 12 weeks along and due my scan in a few days. As with my 1st pregnancy I fell pregnant straight away, which was a bit of a shock but I thought "no point beating around the bush" - so to speak! My husband and I were really happy. By 5 weeks I had severe pains and bleeds over a few days and thought I was losing the baby, which was devastating. Fortunately scans etc showed it was a blood sack in my uterus and it eventually passed.

I have a lovely life; great husband, beautiful DD, lovely home, good friends and family (however no family with 90mins drive and we're the only ones out of our close friends that have children). I decided not to go back to work at the beginning of this year (childcare costs around here prohibitive and I loved being at home with her), and I've been doing a social media course for the past 4 months with a view to working from home when I qualify in the autumn. Everything all good...

Then around the time the bleeding starts, morning sickness kicks in (which was confusing in itself) and I start feeling really flat. I remember having bad morning sickness with DD but with this I just really struggle to get myself together in the morning. To an outsider I look like I'm just getting on with it perfectly, but I feel teary, short with my husband, lonely and utterly lacking in motivation. I can't seem to muster enthusiasm for anything. If I could stay in bed all day I probably would.

I have spoken to my mum and sisters about some of this, as they're pretty understanding about feeling crap in pregnancy. We're all the anomaly that doesn't feel enjoy being pregnant and just feels utterly shit through most of it. But it's still really not the "done thing" to answer truthfully when people ask you how you're enjoying pregnancy with "I'm not". I've spoken to a couple of baby friends about it, and they're really understanding but not sure what to say. I've been really frank with my husband about it too, and he's understanding but a bit baffled.

I know the ms, tiredness and hormones will have a massive play in this but I do worry I've got antenatal depression. I've seen depression in my Dad and I'm worried about it spiralling after having the baby. Just to add, I don't feel ill thoughts towards the baby, if anything I can't wait until it's out and I can start getting back to myself, even if I'm run ragged!

I'm sure others will have had this, and I was just wondering. Did it lift? Did you go and speak to someone about it? Do I just need to pull myself together? Does it often lead to post-natal depression?

Thanks for your patience in reading my tome! xxxx

KatyN Tue 18-Jul-17 21:50:40

I really struggled with my mh with my second child. It was rough. I went to my gp and my mw for help. They were on it immeadiately. Being pregnant and having a small child means you are top priority. I had medication, counselling and a consultant in the hospital to support me. This also carried on after I'd given birth.
I would say I was less depressed after the birth that I was before. You've still got 6 months to go so grab some extra support while you can kxx

margaritaville7 Mon 24-Jul-17 14:18:30

Thank you KatyN for coming back to me with sound advice. I'll follow up on this. Thanks for taking the time to come back to me xxxx

Belle81 Wed 07-Feb-18 13:17:19

Hi, I am currently feeling like this, I'm nearly 7 weeks. Same situation, I have a lovely life and planned this baby but since nausea started, I don't even want to think about the fact I'm pregnant and have been feeling really down. Has it passed for you? Did you get any medical help or did it just stop? Hope you're feeling better now x

Morewashingtodo Wed 07-Feb-18 13:22:42

I’m feeling the same. I was pretty miserable with my first pregnancy but much worse this time. I was pushed into going back to work ‘full-time’ and am really struggling with a toddler, pregnancy and working a 60 hour week.

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