Feeling unsupported by DH - how to communicate better?(2 Posts)
DD was born just over a week ago. We also have a 2yo DS. I've been on antidepressants for years, including throughout both pregnancies, and have been under the care of the ante-natal mental health team for both pregnancies. After DS was born, i felt ok, but a bit overwhelmed for a while. However, this time I'm feeling quite down and anxious already - got very panicky in bed last night, for instance. The problem is, I'm finding it really hard to talk to DH about it, as he just doesn't seem interested (he's generally very supportive in practical ways, but not emotionally). I've said that i find visitors difficult, but he still invites his family round and lets them stay for ages. On Saturday he told me his sister would be arriving in 5 minutes, with her 2 DCs, and i said "That's nice, but I'm not sure I'm up for a long visit; can we keep it fairly short?" (She lives 5 minutes away, so it's not as if they'd travelled miles or that we don't see them much). DH said "Well we can't throw them out, but I'm sure they won't stay long". They stayed for ages in the end. Another day, my sister had asked about visiting, and is said no, because i didn't feel up to it. DH then invited his other sister over. When i told him I'd been feeling tearful and panicked, he said "Oh, that's probably because you are loads of chocolate yesterday". I wanted to go to visit my parents this week (their car is out of action, so they can't come to us this week), but DH couldn't be bothered driving (and i cant currently drive due to hurting my wrist a few weeks ago). He just doesn't seem interested in doing anything that will help me to feel better, or in trying to stem the tide of visitors so that i can rest. I'm not sure how to explain it better to him; he just doesn't understand how I'm feeling or that there are a few simple things that would help. It's not that i don't want him to have any visitors, but several times now I've planned to go to bed for an hour while DS naps, only to be told that someone is coming round then (a couple of times I've gone to bed anyway, but for instance his sister's kids are quite noisy, so i got back up as i couldn't sleep anyway).
Sorry for lack of paragraphs; i cant figure out how to take a new line in an OP in the app!
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