Anyone want to get out of this fog together?(6 Posts)
Hi all. My second dd is 4 months old now and it's been a very difficult few months (she has been in hospital and various other bits that have made life harder than it was with my first dd). I am completely exhausted and feel on the edge of proper depression (I have been depressed previously and took anti depressants) but not quite there...yet! What I am is anxious, apathetic and frankly very bored. I am going to push myself to do one small pleasant thing a day to feel a sense of achievement. I think it might help me, but I'd like to do it with others to motivate myself! Today I am going to bake a cake because I cannot eat dairy due to dd bf and having a dairy allergy. This morning I walked dd to nursery instead of using the car. Tiny things but I think I can use them as a sort of ladder to get out of the hole I feel like I am in. I am not suggesting in any sense this is a fix for proper mental health issues, just that it might help me find a way out. Anyone want to do it too?
Hi Gary my dd is 8 months and I've been having treatment for PND since she was 5 months. My CBT therapist tells me to write a plan for each day including one pleasurable activity but I'm still finding it very difficult so I will join you!
Baking a cake is great. I love baking, so relaxing and you get yummy things at the end
I think today I will give dd to dp and go for a long relaxing bath
Hi FreeWeezy! Thanks for your response. As you'll know, just that makes me feel better 🙂. A relaxing bath sounds like a great idea. I remember them fondly! I have discovered I am short of some ingredients I need to I'm going to get all bundled up and go for a long ish walk via the shops. I almost let that derail me but Ive just got to do it! How have you found CBT? I sort of do write a plan mentally each day but one of the things I find so difficult is that babies are unpredictable and I get incredibly anxious if she does something that changes my plans! But I am not a go with the flow type at all, and trying to be has actually made things tougher. I'd be really interested to hear if CBT has helped.
Well done for carrying on with your plan! I am so bad for hitting the first hurdle and just giving up. To be honest I haven't found CBT that helpful for exactly the reasons you said. It's very structured: you write your plan and you have to do everything on there but I find it difficult with baby in tow. Especially if I have a bad night with her and then I have a walk planned for the morning. It's just the last thing I want to do when I've had 2 hours sleep but then I feel so guilty and stressed if I don't do it. I have one session left and then I'm going to ask for some more counselling type therapy.
Must be even harder to get stuff done with more than one child! I don't know how people do it!
So sorry, I have fallen at the first hurdle here! Had a rubbish day with her yesterday and just sort of let my determination drain away as the day went on! No cake made, but I did get the syrup so can do it today. I am also going to pick up a stack of interiors magazines which should make listening to her not sleeping on the monitor more bearable . Weirdly I think having two has helped me as you kind of don't have a choice but to keep going. I think I might have felt like I do now a lot earlier and more deeply if it weren't for my first. How was your bath?
Ah well it doesn't matter. Today is a new day. Do you have much of a routine with her? Sometimes I find it easier to get things done if I set myself an approximate time to do it. So for example 'I'll bake in between her first and second nap' rather than 'I'll bake at 12' because then if I kiss that time I lose all motivation but having a larger window allows for some flexibility.
I also fell at the first hurdle! No bath was had. She would not sleep! I put her down at 8 and she slept for a few hours and then cried from 11pm-1am. It was awful. And then up many times after that. I have been very lucky today and my lovely mum has come to take her from me for a few hours. I went to the gp yesterday and they've upped my dose of antidepressants so I'm feeling exhausted today. Hoping the side effects don't last as long as they did when I first started them.
However I did make some cookies yesterday, even if I did burn half of them
I love looking at beautiful homes! But it does just remind me how crap mine is in comparison but a girl can dream!
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