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Anyone want to get out of this fog together?

(6 Posts)
GaryWilmotsWedding Tue 28-Feb-17 09:54:01

Hi all. My second dd is 4 months old now and it's been a very difficult few months (she has been in hospital and various other bits that have made life harder than it was with my first dd). I am completely exhausted and feel on the edge of proper depression (I have been depressed previously and took anti depressants) but not quite there...yet! What I am is anxious, apathetic and frankly very bored. I am going to push myself to do one small pleasant thing a day to feel a sense of achievement. I think it might help me, but I'd like to do it with others to motivate myself! Today I am going to bake a cake because I cannot eat dairy due to dd bf and having a dairy allergy. This morning I walked dd to nursery instead of using the car. Tiny things but I think I can use them as a sort of ladder to get out of the hole I feel like I am in. I am not suggesting in any sense this is a fix for proper mental health issues, just that it might help me find a way out. Anyone want to do it too?

FreeWeezy Tue 28-Feb-17 10:00:18

Hi Gary smile my dd is 8 months and I've been having treatment for PND since she was 5 months. My CBT therapist tells me to write a plan for each day including one pleasurable activity but I'm still finding it very difficult so I will join you!
Baking a cake is great. I love baking, so relaxing and you get yummy things at the end grin
I think today I will give dd to dp and go for a long relaxing bath smile

GaryWilmotsWedding Tue 28-Feb-17 10:19:47

Hi FreeWeezy! Thanks for your response. As you'll know, just that makes me feel better 🙂. A relaxing bath sounds like a great idea. I remember them fondly! I have discovered I am short of some ingredients I need to I'm going to get all bundled up and go for a long ish walk via the shops. I almost let that derail me but Ive just got to do it! How have you found CBT? I sort of do write a plan mentally each day but one of the things I find so difficult is that babies are unpredictable and I get incredibly anxious if she does something that changes my plans! But I am not a go with the flow type at all, and trying to be has actually made things tougher. I'd be really interested to hear if CBT has helped.

FreeWeezy Tue 28-Feb-17 11:44:38

Well done for carrying on with your plan! I am so bad for hitting the first hurdle and just giving up. To be honest I haven't found CBT that helpful for exactly the reasons you said. It's very structured: you write your plan and you have to do everything on there but I find it difficult with baby in tow. Especially if I have a bad night with her and then I have a walk planned for the morning. It's just the last thing I want to do when I've had 2 hours sleep but then I feel so guilty and stressed if I don't do it. I have one session left and then I'm going to ask for some more counselling type therapy.
Must be even harder to get stuff done with more than one child! I don't know how people do it!

GaryWilmotsWedding Wed 01-Mar-17 09:34:21

So sorry, I have fallen at the first hurdle here! Had a rubbish day with her yesterday and just sort of let my determination drain away as the day went on! No cake made, but I did get the syrup so can do it today. I am also going to pick up a stack of interiors magazines which should make listening to her not sleeping on the monitor more bearable smile. Weirdly I think having two has helped me as you kind of don't have a choice but to keep going. I think I might have felt like I do now a lot earlier and more deeply if it weren't for my first. How was your bath?

FreeWeezy Wed 01-Mar-17 14:34:50

Ah well it doesn't matter. Today is a new day. Do you have much of a routine with her? Sometimes I find it easier to get things done if I set myself an approximate time to do it. So for example 'I'll bake in between her first and second nap' rather than 'I'll bake at 12' because then if I kiss that time I lose all motivation but having a larger window allows for some flexibility.
I also fell at the first hurdle! No bath was had. She would not sleep! I put her down at 8 and she slept for a few hours and then cried from 11pm-1am. It was awful. And then up many times after that. I have been very lucky today and my lovely mum has come to take her from me for a few hours. I went to the gp yesterday and they've upped my dose of antidepressants so I'm feeling exhausted today. Hoping the side effects don't last as long as they did when I first started them.
However I did make some cookies yesterday, even if I did burn half of them grin
I love looking at beautiful homes! But it does just remind me how crap mine is in comparison envybut a girl can dream!

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