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Our Antenatal and Postnatal Depression forum is a supportive space where you can share your postnatal depression experiences.

Antenatal/postnatal depression

PND recovery stories

36 replies

Rebocalucy · 02/12/2016 21:09

Hi all,

Would anyone like to share any PND / anxiety recovery stories to help us ladies dealing with PND ?

I'm currently 5 months post baby and was diagnosed early on. I suffer with PND and recently diagnosed OCD. With the OCD come awful intrusive thoughts.

I'm slowly getting better and would love to hear some of your recovery stories, I know it always helps to hear the positives. I can't wait until I can post mine and help others :) xxx

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LeopardPrintSocks1 · 02/12/2016 21:11

Sorry you're going through that, I am going through similar. Baby is 10 months now and anxiety is easing off slowly. I'm having cbt and was prescribed meds but didn't take them but still might.

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FuckingHellz · 02/12/2016 21:19

You'll get through it, I've been there. Went back on citalopram after dd was born nearly 3 years ago. Now nearly off the ad's (taken me a tear to slowly come off them).

Had 12 weeks of cbt not long after birth and have been having counselling since last xmas.

Dd is the light of my life now, chats with me and makes me laugh. I adore her! Relationship with dp not great at all but that's life.

I remember how those first couple of years felt, it was horrendous. Really hard for me adjusting to being responsible for a little dependent person. No family support. It's fine though now and I was desperate to get back to work after mat leave.

It'll all be ok, just part of your path in life, you'll get through it it just takes time x

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FuckingHellz · 02/12/2016 21:20

I've nc loads but I posted on the pnd boards when dd was little as you think you're going to feel shit forever but you won't x

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WorrisomeHeart · 02/12/2016 21:20

I was diagnosed with PND when my first son was about 3 weeks old. A traumatic birth, ending in EMCS, NNU stay for DS, failure to establish breastfeeding and a basic shock at how everything had turned out meant I was in a very bad way for his early weeks. I was lucky in that I had a very aware midwife as my PN support and she got me to the GP who diagnosed and prescribed a low dose of fluoxetine. That helped to get me back onto an even keel, and I then joined a PND support group which I found so beneficial. By the end of the support group, (when DS was about 6 months old) I felt almost back to myself again. I was very wary when I was pregnant with my second DS, I made sure I had the support networks in place, had a planned section to avoid further birth trauma, and luckily didn't relapse. I still feel incredibly guilty about DS1's first days. But the support group helped me to realise that it wasn't my fault, that it wasn't something I could control, that I could bond with my son and form a loving and caring relationship with him despite the bad days.
My advice is take the help. Find your support networks, whether that's family, professionals, whatever. Don't battle on, be verbal and open about your struggles and what you need to get well again. Wishing you all the best.

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Rebocalucy · 02/12/2016 21:22

Thanks for your replys ladies ! Did you find going back to work helped ? I'm considering going back to work early, but I feel guilty as Dd will be in nursery 5 mornings a week. Having OCD routine is essential xx

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Rebocalucy · 02/12/2016 21:25

ThAnkyou :) I'm currently having CBT, i wasn't prescribed anti ds but had a bad reaction so doc recomended not to take. I can't find any support groups in my area, I should set one up really ! Xx

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FuckingHellz · 02/12/2016 21:30

Yes going back to work definitely helped, I couldn't wait to go back but stayed off a year as dd had reflux and I was scared to leave her.

She loves nursery but even now I feel guilty for going to work and leaving her there. Think the guilt is part of being a parent!

However it means I can drink a coffee in peace and go for a wee without someone saying 'I need to come with you!'

Do what's best for you - if you want to go back just do it x

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MorrisZapp · 02/12/2016 21:32

I went back full time when DS was six months old. That, and the sertraline, saved my life.

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Rebocalucy · 03/12/2016 09:45

I think I will go back when little one is 7 months. I feel emensley guilty about it as she is very clingy to her Mummy :) bless her. But I know it will be the best decision I make for us both xxx

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SunnyL · 03/12/2016 09:55

I'm on the up - DD is 8 months and I went to the docs when she was 4 months. I've been offered anti-Ds everytime I see the docs but really want to avoid them. I was referred for counselling 4 months ago but haven't made it to the front of the waiting list yet. Apparently I'm not ill enough.

Instead I've been on a self-help mission using books from the library. I'm running twice a week as my therapy as well.

Honestly I thibk I've got lucky and I'm feeling much much better. it's frightening when I look back at how bad I was. I want the CBT counselling to help me learn ways to avoid getting that low again.

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Elledouble · 03/12/2016 10:01

I've had PND and OCD too. The mother and baby service where I live is amazing - I did two separate group therapy sessions, CBT and I was admitted to the ward for three months so they could safely titrate my medication. I didn't end up going back to work til my son was 1, but I feel a lot better now I have a life outside of motherhood. I still have intrusive thoughts but I'm better able to deal with them thanks to the CBT.

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Rebocalucy · 03/12/2016 20:19

I can't find any support groups in my area :( really wish I could! I'm having counciling at the mo. I don't want meds I can do this without. It's just a long process :( xx

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Elledouble · 03/12/2016 20:30

Would you be able to tell us the general geographic area you're in? Someone might know an organisation that could help. Who diagnosed you? Have you spoken to your health visitor?

I know meds might sound scary, but it can help to even out your brain chemistry while you work on practical solutions.

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Littleelffriend · 03/12/2016 20:35

I really didn't want meds but honestly they have made me so much better. When my dd was about 4 months old I went to the doctor and started on 50mg sertraline. I started counselling about a month ago. I'm very close to being me again xxx

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Rebocalucy · 03/12/2016 21:09

I had citalopram and Iv never felt suicidal and the day after my first tab I felt suicidal! Worse experience of my life ! I'm in East Yorkshire xx

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FuckingHellz · 03/12/2016 21:55

Are there any children's centres near you? I had a family support worker visit me for a while when I was struggling x

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Rebocalucy · 04/12/2016 04:19

There is a children's centre yes. I will look into what they do.

Elle - doctors and midwives diagnosed with me PND. The mental health team diagnosed me with OCD xx

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TheLegendOfBeans · 04/12/2016 05:14

I had anxiety And it tipped over into OCD...

  • Constantly checking DD breathing
  • Absolute conviction she was going to die
  • Fear of putting her clothes out for the next day as convinced it'd raise her chances of dying in the night

...that's just a flavour. I also couldn't deal with enclosed spaces so that ruled out lifts and the car too 😐
Combination of going to local buggy-fit class and also stumping up the £60 a week for therapy has helped immeasurably. It's like the anxiety has just melted off a bit.
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TheLegendOfBeans · 04/12/2016 05:19

...posted too soon!

DD is 10mo. I look back on her first 16 weeks and I want to cry all over again as I was so mentally f--ked every day was just surviving. New baby new area. Best friend didn't understand and backed off. Huge massive interest in baby for first few weeks then huge periods of isolation. Moving to an area I disliked intensely.

That's all become manageable, I've made some acquaintances/mum chums and doing group activities has really helped. And talk to people if you can! I know it sounds easy but I've nearly given my number out at a soft Play centre to another mum before as she had a DD my age and also she seemed cool! Should've done it haha.

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Rebocalucy · 04/12/2016 05:31

Thanks for you reply ! I know what you mean when I look back I can see how bad I was in the beginning ! Overwhelmed isn't the word ! I know I'm slowly getting better. I'm just scared, I'm so fixated on the thought I'm going to hurt Emily and not know it (intrusive thoughts are a bitch !) I love her so much just typing that makes me feel sick. I also worry she's going to die, and have the mental images to go with it which distresses me ! . I'm pushing myself to do normal things every day and it seems to he working slowly but surely xx

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TheLegendOfBeans · 04/12/2016 05:48

Keep at it. If you can afford it just go see a therapist. Even if you don't do CBT as such just talking about it can help.

Ps: I'm as idle as a rock but I enjoyed Buggyfit as it wasn't all baby baby baby focussed. It's a national thing - look it up and good luck x

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Rebocalucy · 04/12/2016 06:35

I'm currently having CBT, but I feel like I do need some talk therapy just to let everything out. I feel asif things from my childhood are coming back to haunt me since I had Emily. Things that I didn't think affected me !

Thankyou so much :) and thanks for responding so early in the morning. Xxx

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Sarahhot1250980 · 06/12/2016 17:59

Hi everyone new to this site so don't even know if on the right bit , I'm going out of my wits , panick attacks, high anxiety, baby number 6 is 3 months old . Been prescribed sertraline 50mg but freightened to take em . Can someone please give some positive feedback on if they work !! Help 😓

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Rebocalucy · 06/12/2016 19:39

Hi Sarah, has this just started ? Have you been to docs ? My anxiety is really high tonight I'm struggling xx

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Sarahhot1250980 · 06/12/2016 21:04

Yes went to docs when baby was 2 weeks old , been suffering ever since , I noticed it started when I stopped breastfeeding, I went from extremely high to very weirdly low. Had it bad once before about 17 yrs ago with my son . Had it a little since then with other children but managed it. This time round though quite bad. I'm so scared of taking these tablets though most people I know who have been on them or are on them day they're the best out there . Hope your ok ! Iv decided to try a Rescue Remedy for the anxiety . Going to buy it tomorrow 😩

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