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Awful dreamlike state horrific is there light at the end of this horrible journey

(17 Posts)
user1478351251 Sat 05-Nov-16 13:17:27

Hi there I'm Zoe my twins are 8 months old and I have postnatal depression ,putting it mildly it's bloody awful -my main symptom is detachment also know as dreamlike out of reality state !! So awful
I'm on pregabalin medication recently upped to 300 mg -these symptoms do not ease I might add at all in the day !
Under GP also have a fantastic support group that I attend once a week ! Back at work also partime which helps a bit !!!
Very hard would love to hear some recovery stories please as this is just awful !!! Feel like I'm dying

user1477282676 Sat 05-Nov-16 14:22:46

I think you need your medication adjusting surely? How long ago was it adjusted?

My friend had terrible, dreadful PND and was almost hospitalised. She's just produced her first full length feature film...her son is now 8 years old.

Her real recovery took a year and a half and she says she felt properly normal again after 2 years but it was progressive. So it's early days you have much help practially? At home?

user1478351251 Sat 05-Nov-16 14:58:59

Yea my hubby very supportive and other close family ! My soul seems to be lost ! Very hard at moment just wanna be my normal self without this ! Drives me mad 😔

ImperialBlether Sat 05-Nov-16 15:09:23

A friend of mine had terrible PND after her twins were born. She was in hospital for six months. The twins are in their twenties now and are the happiest and healthiest children with a fantastic relationship with their mum. It was tough for her (obviously) but with the right medication she came through it and has been fine ever since.

Is the pregabalin for PND? I've just looked it up and it says it's for fibromyalgia or nerve pain. Do you have that, too? It mentions it's for anxiety, too - when I had PND I wouldn't have said it was anxiety, would you?

It says it shouldn't be taken if you're suffering from depression.

user1478351251 Sat 05-Nov-16 15:27:35

Hi I only have postnatal depression but my GP seemed to think this was the right medication for me ! Am seeing him Wed am actually going to say I think I should be on Citalopram as a lot of ladies I know we're on this and it got rid of horrid fog !! I was originally on Sertraline for 4 months but the sweat used to pour off me literally would drip on my twins heads and pour down my knees (so knew that wasn't right )
I'm absoutley fed up feeling like this ! Just want my life back !!! Xx

cattastic Sun 06-Nov-16 19:57:43

Just had to login and respond when I read your post. I also started to dissociate and go into the dreamlike state you describe (it's due to high anxiety) and suffered badly with PND after the birth of my child. I was eventually hospitalised for 2 months in a mother and baby unit as it all became too much for me. Am now much much better but still take a lot of medication. There is light at the end of the tunnel but I really think you need specialist help as detachment/dissociation is seriously exhausting to live with and it made me (briefly) suicidal in the end. You might not become as badly affected as I was but I would ask your gp to refer you to your specialist perinatal mental health team. I wouldn't wish PND on anyone. It was/is horrendous. PM me if you need to x

user1478351251 Sun 06-Nov-16 20:30:02

Thankyou honey for replying !! Do you mind me asking you what meds your on !! As I really want to end this soon xxx I have a lot of support and can access mental health team if I need them to be honest I think it would actually make me worse , I'm managing so far -review with GP every week -gone through this for 8 months now -thanks for your support xxx

cattastic Sun 06-Nov-16 21:57:18

Mirtrazipine and venlafaxine daily, with diazepam to stop the dissociation when I feel it starting. Hope this helps x

user1478351251 Sun 05-Mar-17 13:59:15

Hi honey am now on more or less exactly the same meds as you ! Although I am feeling a lot better the detachment feeling is still with me! How long did it take you to recover from this ? I'm thinking its going to last longer than 12 months as its nearly that for me now sad

user1478351251 Sun 05-Mar-17 16:34:11

Hi honey am now on more or less exactly the same meds as you ! Although I am feeling a lot better the detachment feeling is still with me! How long did it take you to recover from this ? I'm thinking its going to last longer than 12 months as its nearly that for me now sad

cattastic Thu 16-Mar-17 21:01:25

Hi, happy to say I've been dissociation free for the last 4 months, so it took 7 months for it to stop happening. And I am very careful not to get into stressful situations now. Is your detachment feeling constant?

user1478351251 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:01:36

Yes 100% constant exactly a year now it's horrid ! You give me hope though !! These meds are doing something (only been on them since December) now take 225 mg venflexline and currently 15mg mirtazpine xx I'm doing everything I can go out everyday just so hard

user1478351251 Thu 30-Mar-17 21:20:02

Please give me some hope x

user1478351251 Thu 30-Mar-17 21:20:29

Please give me some hope x

7Days Thu 30-Mar-17 21:32:40

I felt similar to you. I really believed my kids and I were going to die. Walking down the street as though i'd been dropped on the set of a sci fi film. Sertraline did suit me, and I did lots of meditation and 2 years later I am back to myself. Got a great new job, lost weight and loving my i
Life, children and husband.
That is not to say it wasn't utterly shit for months or even a year. That is where you are now. Someone offered a Chinese(?) proverb to me. No matter how dark and deep the woodsyou can only go half way in. After that, you're coming out the other side.
Sorry if that seems trite, but it chimed with me when things seemed so bad

Glitterkitten24 Thu 30-Mar-17 21:45:02

Your post rang a bell with me- that dissociative state, and the, just, emptiness was the worst part for me.
I cared for my children because I knew I had to, not because I wanted to. I relished days when my husband was off work so that he could take the kids out and just leave. Me. The. Fuck. Alone.
I didn't feel like 'me' anymore.

I was on citralopram for round about 8 months before I started seeing light at the end of the tunnel. And I would cautiously say I'm at the end of the tunnel now.

Just keep swimming- you won't feel this way for ever.

user1478351251 Fri 07-Apr-17 22:09:11

Thank you ladies you've given me hope x

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