Postnatal depression(4 Posts)
Sorry this might be a little long. This is my first post.
I'm worried I may have postnatal depression, for some reason all the way through my pregnancy I worried about this and now I'm scared to death that it's happening.
My baby is now 6 months old, 'y health visitor picked up on something quite early on about 6 weeks and referred me to my GP I had two appointments with her about a month apart and on the second appointment I was feeling much more upbeat after getting myself my own car and being able to get out and about on myown(I was house bound pretty much as had c section and live in the middle of no where). But lately I've been feeling sad, all that really makes me happy is my little boy and eating. I constantly feel exhausted but when I go to bed at night I'm wide awake and can't sleep, I'm napping during the day when baby sleeps but that isn't for very long, /and it takes my all to drag myself out of bad to go get him when he starts crying. I will randomly feel tears welling up in my eyes for no reason and try my hardest to not let them spill over, the slightest of things can set me off. Like my mum phoned the other day to say she was going to be round later than planned and I just started crying, in the middle of the street! The crying isn't all the time but I take everything to heart. My hubby is great but he's tired and has been a bit grumpy which isn't usual and I take everything he does to heart, I even found myself having a conversation yesterday about separating and needing space from him.i don't want this at all!! I have arguments in my head If say MIL is coming round I'll have an argument with her in my head that would never happen Ina million years, I do this through the day and can get myself so angry about nothing. I feel like my friends that don't have kids (nearly all my friends) have kind of forgotten me, I know it takes two to text or arrange meet ups but again I make up in my head that they should be texting me and checking I'm ok. I've started getting really bad stomach pains recently which I hadn't linked to anything until my hubby said maybe I had something wrong. I'm short with people all the time, normally have a lot of patience and can hide if I'm annoyed or if I'm really disinterested in someone but lately I just can't hide it. I arrange meet ups with a couple of girls from baby sensory but I end up cancelling usually because I can't be bothered to get myself out the house, the only thing I go to is baby sensory every week but that only an hour on a Tuesday. My mum had my baby over night for the first time a couple of weeks back and I was a nervous wreck. I moan about not having any time to myself anymore and not feeling like me but then I feel guilty about asking someone to babysit and for leaving him when there is no real need for it. I'm overeating and getting fatter by the day but can't seem to stop myself, I've started slimming world and then decided I'd do WW and I'm currently just eating my way through a share bar of galaxy! I'm a mess, I would never have gone out without my hair and make up done pre pregnancy but I honestly look like a slob most of the time and it annoys me but then I can't be bothered to do anything about it.
I've booked an appointment with the doctor but it's not for a few weeks, I feel like I'm drowning in everything, I'm not keeping out with household stuff and the place is a state. I don't really know why I've posted, I suppose when I started I wanted people's opinions on whether they thought I might have some form of depression.
It sounds like you are depressed but it might not be post natal depression. The reason I say that is from no medical experience just personal experience. I found that doc/hv were satisfied that I wasn't suffering from post natal depression but overlooked the possibility that I was still suffering from depression.
Hope you get good help but you might need to insist with doc etc.
Focus on kitchen and bathroom for any housework/ ask OH to do it. I am a lazy sod but I believe in the healing power of a freshly changed bed. Again , you or OH keep an eye on this. A walk feels like the last thing you want but it can help.
Also, now it's getting a bit cooler , dig out a nice throw or blanket to wrap around yourself every now and again- feels like a hug.
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