Very anxious in pregnancy

[PlinkPlonkPlunk]

I'm 10 weeks pregnant with baby number 2. DS1 turned 2 a couple of months ago, and is very active. He also doesn't sleep well, so I'm pretty exhausted.

I've had depression for about 10 years, but it's generally managed with Sertraline, which makes me feel ok, if not brilliant. However, since about a month ago, I've been feeling quite anxious a lot of the time, and quite low - not so much unhappy, as just uninterested in everything. Sometimes I look at DS and just get overwhelmed, feeling I can't cope. I've had to phone friends a couple of times to just come and take him. I have a feeling of low-level panic a lot of the time, feeling sick, not wanting to eat etc.

I don't know whether it's depression, or I'm just exhausted and need a break. I don't very often get time away from DS - I don't feel up to going out, and I don't have that many people who can take him. DH is great when he's home in the evenings, but I find afternoons really difficult. He sleeps so badly that I can't really send him away overnight.

I don't know what to do. Can my GP do much if I'm already on medication? Can anyone recommend anything?

[Duckstar]

Please speak to your midwife and/or gp. Your hormones go crazy in pregnancy and can make pre-existing mental health issues worse, or in my case start. I had the most horrendous anxiety in my last pregnancy. I had counsellinh and medication. Do not suffer alone there is so much that can be done to help you (you might need different meds for example).

[BifsWif]

Please speak to your GP. I had prenatal depression/anxiety even though I was already on antidepressants. I could have had a lot of help and support from the prenatal mental health team had I spoken to my midwife/GP instead of suffering in silence.

Do you have anyone who would help out so you can get some rest?

[PlinkPlonkPlunk]

Thanks. I can go to my mum's for a couple of days, but then she's going to my sister's so can't I stay all week (well, I could, but my dad's at work so I'd be on my own, which defeats the purpose). My mother in law can help for the odd afternoon, but isn't in the of health and is already exhausted looking after her other grandchildren, so I really don't want to impose on her too much. My sister has 2 DCs of her own, so can't help all that much. As I said, I can get friends to do a bit here and there, but not really for long spells.

I just feel like I'd love a few days of not having to run around after DS.

I'm not keen on talking therapies, as I've tried them before without success, plus I'd have to get DS minded and that would use favours without getting me a rest! But if it was the only option, I'd try it. I'm on 100mg Sertraline, and I think the maximum dose is 150mg. I've a feeling i tried that before, a few years ago, and the side effects weren't worth it - but maybe it'd be different if I tried it again?

[PlinkPlonkPlunk]

I tried talking to DH there, and said I was feeling quite anxious, but he just said "why?", and when I said I didn't know, he changed the subject. Any tips on how to talk to him about this?

He's generally not great with dealing with depression. I think he wants to be supportive, but he needs to be told very exactly what I need him to do, which can be hard if I'm feeling really down and find it hard to know or express what I need. A while ago he said he was "disappointed" that I didn't seem to be recovering faster.

[BifsWif]

Could you show him this thread?

Talking therapies don't work for me either, there are lots of other options such as mindfulness/cbt. Your GP may suggest a change in medication rather than an increase, or he may just want to monitor you for now if you feel happier with that.

Either way, its best to have a chat with them and see what your options are.

Please lean on your family for support, even a day or two of someone minding the little one would give you a chance to relax and sleep.

[BifsWif]

I think sometimes men want to 'fix' depression and get frustrated when they can't help. How is your relationship generally?

[PlinkPlonkPlunk]

Thanks Bifs - been busy for a couple of days so only getting online now!

I'm at my mum's which has been nice - got a lie-in this morning, and she's been taking DS out for walks and things.

Generally our relationship is ok, though I often feel like DH sees depression as being 'my' thing that has nothing to do with him. One thing I find very stressful is if I'm in a crowd of people, especially for dinner. DH knows this, but persists in asking me to go along to his family events (he has a large extended family). If I say I'm anxious about it, he just looks a bit cross. He tends to think he knows it all when it comes to depression, even though he hasn't a clue, which is frustrating.

I've got myself signed up to see an antenatal mental health support team, so that's good. I'm hoping DH might come along to some of the sessions and maybe see that I'm not just making stuff up.

[BifsWif]

I'm really glad you've signed up to the group, I hope your DH goes with you and gets a better understanding of how you feel.

Would he do a bit of reading up on depression/anxiety so he better understands what you're going through?