Struggling-PND

[RealLove]

To write this down is hard, I've been battling it for around 5 weeks. I've been dumbing it down and telling myself and others I'm ok and trying to block it out, in reality I know what I'm feeling isn't ok and really isn't me. I cry a lot, feel worthless, a failure, very anxious and just not me. I am going through the motions with DD3 and my other 2 girls but I'm not enjoying it. I now realise that it's not DD3 that's the problem it's me. I am going to the doctors tomorrow hopefully to talk about PND and get some help. It's hard to admit it as I can't believe it's happening to me now on baby number 3. Please tell me it gets better.

[Growingbeanno2]

Well done for writing it down and for making a plan.

I had it with my first and am now pg with my second. Yes, it gets better, yes, it will change and you are doing everything right.

Do you have an OH you can/have speak to? Or friend in RL? I found that the best as you will need support.

Good luck and try to find little strengths every day. But also remember that some days, if you only manage to keep everyone alive you're doing a good job.

[Growingbeanno2]

Oh and from what I've read there's no reason that ever has been found that tells you why it happens when it does.

[RealLove]

Thank you so much for writing, and so pleased you managed to start feeling better too. Congratulations on your pregnancy too. I have a fantastic DH and have close family and friends. I plucked up the courage to tell my Mum today, she knew things weren't right and has said she'll help me out with whatever I need. It felt good to get it off my chest. It makes me feel mad with myself for pretending to myself that everything was fine. I just need to battle this head on as the way I'm feeling is so far removed from the real me its frightening.

[Growingbeanno2]

Well done for telling your mum and people. It'll help alot I'm sure.

It took me ages to really believe what was going on and then longer to do anything.

Be strong, believe in yourself and learn from everything you encounter

[MJ14]

Hi there, I had severe PND when my baby was born, I had very mild depression before he was born as my pregnancy was horrible, I was in constant pain, throwing up throughout and my grandma who I was very close to died when I was pregnant so things got bad after my baby was born.
I felt like I had made the biggest mistake and I'd ruined my life, I even considered suicide a couple of weeks after he was born.
I absolutely promise you that it does get better, it takes time though and you have to learn to take care of yourself but 2 years on and my son is the best thing in my life, he is perfection, I can't even begin to describe how much I love him.
Getting support is the best thing you can do, counselling helped me loads.
I hope you start to feel better soon!