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Really down and fed up.

(1 Post)
Jodie1982 Sun 31-Jul-16 14:40:44

Currently 16+2 wks.
Suffering a Degenerative condition and arthritis in lower spine. Pain is awful. Can't do much at all, stuck at home feeling guilty that I can barely get out with my DC, and having to rely on DP sp bloody much who is now my carer. Feel bloody useless. Wondering the point in my existence, dread the morning when I'm struggling to get out of bed sad. I've had yrs of ptsd and depression and suicidal thoughts which I learnt to deal with but now they're coming back to me. I'm awaiting an appt with the perinatal mental health nurse, I missed my last one as I literally couldn't get out the house (we don't drive)
Feeling extremely stupid for getting pregnant. Not happy with it at all. I hate thinking/speaking about the baby, it's not baby's fault I know but I'm struggling so much, when baby is here I doubt I'll manage to do much for him/her sad ill be able to get proper treatment and pain meds but I'm sure my condition will be much worse, it'll more than likely get worse in my pregnancy, it's started already.
There's so much cleaning n tidying to be done at home, DP tries but he's not so bothered about it as I am, my Dsis will help but I can't stand relying on others 😣 I just want to be able to do it myself.
I'm rambling now sorry. Just feeling so fed up, frustrated and in agony. (I'm limited with pain meds that don't do anything 😔)

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