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So much guilt with antenatal depression

(5 Posts)
Mmm365 Wed 08-Jun-16 08:32:13

Hi all, I'm new to the group and really struggling with depressive guilt today (and most days). I'm 31weeks pregnant with my first baby, and have been signed off work since Feb (5months) for depression. I have had it in the past, no longer medicated though for last few years, but this first pregnancy it has really hit me hard again.
Looking likely now that I'll be off until my mat leave starts in July. My work is seemingly supportive (tho my pay is halved which doesn't help as baby prep is so expensive!) but I worry being off for so long, then followed by a year of leave is so harmful to career, and more importantly my self esteem. I wish I could just enjoy this time 'off' to grow this little human guilt free, but I can't find a way to let it go which I know is a symptom of my depression but feels extra cruel... so wondering if anyone else in similar boat now or previously being off for so long in pregnancy? Feeling particularly awkward when I think about any future interaction with colleagues or my bosses in particular now or after mat leave which is so long away from now...the stigma around it doesn't help of course. Also feel guilty that so many people would love to be in my position with baby on the way but I cant seem to enjoy it. Thanks for reading x

00100001 Wed 08-Jun-16 21:30:32

bump

Fuzzywuzzywasabear Sun 12-Jun-16 01:01:53

Hi mmm,

I'm also suffering from depression and anxiety currently 30 weeks, although not as badly as yourself I'm still managing to make it in to work most days.

I've come to the conclusion that I need to take care of myself and my baby and while I worry and sometimes get upset about work and my career I try to put that in the deal with later pile, it's very difficult but I'll be on leave for a year so I've kind of given myself permission to not care until at least January next year. If I get a thought about it I try to "reschedule" it for January? Not sure if that makes sense?

Are you seeing the mental health team? I'm still waiting for my Referal to go through sad

KatyN Tue 14-Jun-16 07:41:00

Someone at work told me that I am not normally pregnant and normally I'm good at my job etc etc so I should take pregnancy and maternity leave and try and forget about how it effects my work. This really helped for me. I just stopped thinking about work (and cleaning etc!) and concentrated of growing a baby and looking after myself. It is a really hard time. I like to roll my eyes and mutter 'most natural thing in the world' at regular intervals
There is light at the end of the tunnel, it is so much easier when they are out -my little girl is 6 months now (and I have. 4 he old so I am smugglt sat here thinking I'll never be pregnant again).
Good luck. Kxxx

Mmm365 Tue 14-Jun-16 07:54:15

Thank you both so much. Very, very helpful comments and also to know I'm not alone in feeling this way.

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