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Help please. 9 days old. Anxiety - when will it stop?

(9 Posts)
Firsttimer82 Wed 09-Dec-15 15:52:06

Please can someone tell me i'm not going mad? I have a beautiful 9 day old son that is wanted so much. The problem is the hospital got his birth weight wrong. I was told he was a lb bigger than he is so have had 5 days of stress thinking that he was failing to thrive and breast feeding round the clock.

The truth was found out yesterday and I was so cross with the hospital. I am now really anxious and worried about what I don't know. I felt yesterday a bit like someone has swopped my baby. I know that sounds crazy and I should be grateful he is healthier than we thought.

The anxiety a feel is preventing me bond with him and making me question why I haven't had that rush of love since I found out about his actual weight. I've chatted to my mates and mum and husband doesn't really understand but is sweet. I just want to know if anyone else has felt so anxious and lost at this time? Will it get better. I really really don't want PND. I know no one does. I'm just so tearful and anxious. Will it get better?

midsummabreak Wed 09-Dec-15 20:31:41

Hi worrying bout your baby's birthweight is not uncommon, but the fact that it is developing into anxiety is very hard for you. You are still healing from the birth, so things will change and move along both for you and bub, daily and you will see a big difference from month to month, and will be gradually adjusting to the changes.
Give yourself a chance to do something that takes the pressure off, and allow time to adjust to knowing a different birthweight is still a healthy weight. There is such a big variation in birthweights of healthy babes

It' a time of transition for your identity, to identifying as a being a parent and can feel so overwhelming there is no perfect baby and no perfect parent and we are all human, with flaws... Every parent bumbles along and struggles, no matter how much of a brave face they may show ;0

Firsttimer82 Thu 10-Dec-15 01:22:56

Thank you so much for your kind words... I'm hoping its delayed baby blues due to the c-section. Feeling better than earlier.

happytocomply Thu 10-Dec-15 03:21:20

Hi. This is very familiar to me, my early days with my baby were a lot like this. I had a emergency c-section before labour had got going that I wasn't expecting at all. When my milk came in I had huge, tennis ball sized lumps under my arms where there were milk ducts. I was convinced I would have this for the duration of my breastfeeding and refused to listen to the lactation consultant who told me otherwise!! A midwife scared me that baby had lost too much weight and after being up all night trying to wake him to latch I ended up hysterical in A&E at 5am thinking he was starving to death and jaundiced when in reality he was totally fine. I also didn't feel the rush of love I was expecting, maybe the delivery was part of that? Anyway, very quickly I healed, we both got the hang of breastfeeding and I fell madly in love with baby. You will too. Just give yourself some time and try to be kind to yourself. Congratulations!

Sleepybunny Thu 10-Dec-15 03:56:55

flowers i felt this with my first, it's horrible. I didn't get the rush of love either and it was a 'normal' delivery.

I almost think it can go the other way where you feel so protective and worry so mych about them that it becomes anxiety.

My best advice would be to talk. Talk to abdolutely anyone and everyone about how you feel. Acknowledge it, don't suffer alone bottling things up. And certainly don't concern yourself with what you 'should' be doing/feeling.

Congrats! Your world has been turned upside down. The rush of love will come and keep coming as they do and say the most amazing things

Firsttimer82 Thu 10-Dec-15 04:32:18

Thank you so much for sharing your stories with me. We have had 3 good feeds since i first posted and actually found out by sharing with friends that one of my best mates was taken to hospital in the night due to post natal anxiety. Just never told anyone. Why does no one talk about this? My mission is to keep going and spread the word that this is normal. Thanks again.

sharonthewaspandthewineywall Mon 14-Dec-15 21:11:11

Day 8 here and also suffering some anxieties although they seem to be improving. Sleep deprivation really doesn't help. I will just be sat here for ages normally then suddenly have an intrusive thought which terrifies me

Firsttimer82 Sun 27-Dec-15 13:20:14

To everyone that helped me on this feed thank you. We are almost 4 weeks and I am so much better and in love with my little one. Delayed Baby blues I think. So hideous. Thanks for your kind words.

Sleepybunny Thu 31-Dec-15 10:05:37

That's good to hear firsttimer.

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