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Advice desperately needed!

(5 Posts)
mumtobbk Wed 22-Jul-15 20:44:24

I'm only 6 weeks pregnant and am considering breaking up with my partner and having a termination. Please help, I have such high anxiety and am starting to feel really depressed. My fiancé and I have been together nearly three years- we have had a rocky relationship with his mum dying from MND- I feel like our relationship has never had a proper chance to just see how we wud be normally together with no pressure?. Now we are engaged and I'm pregnant. It was planned and I was so excited but now I feel like an anxious wreck- im questioning our relationship all the time and if I shud have a termination??? Please help. I really don't know what to do or how to work this out.....Thankyou in advance for any advice and please no harsh comments x

peachypips Wed 22-Jul-15 21:09:08

Hi- I have had this with both of my boys. If this was a wanted pregnancy then don't let the anxiety take the baby away from you. My two are 4 and 7 now and I'm so glad I didn't let the illness rob me of them.
The best thing to do is get the anxiety treated and then you'll feel well enough to continue. You can safely take anti-depressants in pregnancy and your anxiety will be better in about 6 weeks. You can then reduce and come off the drugs six months after the birth.
This is what to do:
- Go to the GP and very firmly ask to be referred to the perinatal mental health team. Make sure you specifically ask for this team.
- Get some meds from this team.
- Get someone to come with you if you can.

I said I wanted an abortion as I felt so incredibly poorly I thought I couldn't survive any longer feeling that bad. I didn't see how I could carry on. However, I got help and did it twice and now I am happy and fine.
I think having an abortion would make you feel worse, because you originally wanted the baby and when the pregnancy anxiety is gone you'll be full of regret.
Remember- perinatal mental health team.

peachypips Wed 22-Jul-15 21:14:13

Btw where about a in the country are you? I work for the Maternal mental health alliance and I could check provision in your area. I'm going to bed to read but I'll check in with you in the morning xx

Mummytothree3 Wed 29-Jul-15 22:27:05

You are obviously anxious and scarred about being pregnant and having done it three times I understand your worries. You planned a baby with the man that you love so please do not consider a termination. His mums health and passing is obviously a major stress to a couple but please look at the pregnancy as a new beginning. You stood together during his mums illness so bringing a new life into the world is a nod to his mum. One door closes a new window will open. Please be strong and rebuild your relationship based upon new life because your baby was planned so maybe guided by the stars. God bless xxxx

Adlers1986 Sun 06-Mar-16 21:16:17

Could I ask how you felt as things developed? I worry that my partner is going through a similar struggle and has left me. I want to help her through it and would like to know what would be best.

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