Pnd 18 months after birth, not your usual signs(3 Posts)
My dd is nearly 18 months old and just lately I've been feeling a little strange. Everything is fine with her and my work ( I only do part time) but when it comes to my relationship it's a different story.
He can do no right, I'm alway irritable with him, I cry alot, feel generally sad and even convinced myself he's having an affair. I just feel this anger burning up inside me when it comes to him and I can't stop it. It's awful, if he doesn't answer his phone I think it's because he's with another woman, crazy I know!! We have been together for a long time and never had any issues but I just feel this black cloud over us and I don't know how much more we can both take. I think he hates coming home sometimes.
He works really long hours so I do most of all the chores and then I resent him on his day off if he's just relaxing and then I kick off, cry etc. I just feel so insecure and check every little thing for evidence he's cheating or lying! I don't recognise myself , I'm usually really happy but keep wondering now am I Depressed?? I have had anxiety before but this is different, looking back this all started when dd was about 8 months old
It sounds to me like you're definitely having a struggle at the moment, and it's culminating in such a way that your partner; deserved or not is copping the blame. Believe it or not, that's actually relatively normal. You do tend to take out these frustrations on the people who are closest to you.
Have you tried speaking to him about how you feel? I know that's a really silly question to ask but I think sometimes you can just explode, rant and rave without actually making any sense, which when you're at home with a baby alone and the frustrations build... partner comes home and BOOM... there's no time to talk when you're losing it.
I could go on and on and probably sound really patronising, but if you're here admitting or suggesting you may be depressed then chances are you're answering your own question? My suggestion would be, if and when you're ready to... go and see your Dr. Tell them how you've been feeling and see what they suggest. It can't hurt and it may help. If not a Dr then maybe a close friend or family member? Anyone that can offer you emotional support?
I know my comment is a bit late but I only joined last night after finally admitting to myself I have a bit of a problem. My situation with my other half is a bit different to yours, I'm the one working full time and he recently lost his evening shift job about a month ago but I do feel very similar to you.
I've been having these feelings for about the last 6-9 months and since he lost his job my feelings towards his have got worse. I work all day, come home, my daughter clings to me presumably cos she's been without me all day, I then cook dinner, usually tidy majority of the house and put her to bed when it's time. On my days off I feel like I have to take her out and do stuff with her to let my other half have a break as he has had her all week 9-5. When he wants to go out say one evening or weekend with a few friends I get very aggressive and don't want him to go, personally that's because I feel like I can't cope being with my child alone, but I have had thoughts of are you having an affair, why do you get to go out and have fun when I'm stuck working and being a parent all week, I barely ever go out anymore or socialize with my friends because I feel guilty not being there for them both but I think that's what's making me feel so depressed. I've finally decided it's time to get help and I will be contacting my GP tomorrow morning.
Just wanted to share my thoughts, you are not alone, I hope all of us that feel this way get better soon x
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