Someone please help.(8 Posts)
Hi all. I could really do with some help. I had my son 3 weeks ago on Christmas day by emergency c section after he got distressed 2 days after being induced. I had been in hospital 2 weeks prior to being induced at 38 weeks due to high blood pressure and cholestasis. Over the last 3 weeks I've found it increasingly hard to look after my baby without getting stressed. My husband ends up doing so much for him and he's going back to work on Monday and I'm panicking. I really struggle when my LO is crying. I know he's fed, I know he's clean and he just won't settle with me. I can feel myself getting so stressed out and angry. I can't look after him properly. I don't know what to do. I'm being a terrible mother. I found that when he's awake, I just wish he was asleep because I don't know how to entertain him. I feel like a zombie. I'm not sleeping. What is wrong with me? Why am I so awful?I actually miss being in hospital when I was pregnant. Even though I felt ill, it was so easy. I just want to give up and run away. My baby boy and husband would be miles better off without me.
I should add that I do absolutely adore my son. I think he is beautiful. I want the best for him and I know that's not me
I felt just like this with my first child. I was depressed but never admitted it or sought help. I regret that now. I also had a shitty birth and think that made me feel worse both emotionally and as I was knackered .
One thing that stands out to me is that you don't need to entertain a 3 week old (I remember torturing self with this). Cuddle him and watch tv , talk on phone, walk, go for coffee . I repeat if he is fed , clean, warm , at this age you can relax.
No they wouldn't. They'd both miss you terribly.
Its really hard looking after a newborn and crying can be really tough. Lots of mothers have been there with the whole bewilderment - 'you're fed, clean, warm, what do you want?' But he's not cross with you. He's talking in the only way he knows how at the moment but it can be really tough especially when you're knackered and recovering from an induction/c-section. Google Crysis, they may be able to help.
It would be a good idea for you to see your GP. It may be you have PND and may need some ADs for a time. Please don't worry about this, it happens to lots of us, I got PND but I recovered and I'd spent quite a lot of the first few months feeling like I'd been hit by a bus.
In terms of the crying have you tried a dummy or white noise? On nice days can you get out and about - seeing the rest of the world still existed helped me a lot even when it felt too hard to head out sometimes.
Hang in there, it will get better but in the meantime speak to your GP.
It's so hard. You are at the very hardest part. It will get better.
I used to walk for hours round the park or the shopping centre with DD in a sling. Crying isn't so loud outside. Sometimes I listened to music or a talking book so I couldn't hear it so much. I know its hard to get out though, especially if you've been ill and had a section.
Definitely speak to your GP or HV Fir support.
Thank you all for your kind words. Last night was a very sleep deprived night. My husband gave me a good lay in and I can now see a bit more clearly. My health visitor is coming on Tuesday, I will definitely say something. I don't want to feel like this. I want to be the best I can for my gorgeous little boy.
You sound like a great mummy. Glad you got a bit of a lie-in.
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