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I'm really struggling. I want to go back to before.

(4 Posts)
Beccadugs Fri 07-Mar-14 11:04:15

I've got an 8 day old DD, who arrived after a three day induction, 16 hours of labour (drip induced) and an emergency c section. We were both treated for infections and were in hospital for 4 days.

I just feel rubbish. Breast feeding has been a huge struggle, and I can only latch properly on the sofa, not great at 3am. My milk still hasn't come in. I'm feeding for at least half an hour, and then expressing, it all takes about an hour and a half and then it's almost time to start again.

After refusing to settle all night she is sleeping like an angel in her Moses basket in the sitting room. I'm attached to the f***ing pump.

I have massive anxiety about the dog being around the baby, I'm considering rehoming her (but I can't because it would be too awful and I love her, and she is fine, it's my anxiety that is the problem) so she has gone to kennels for a week to help me get things a but more settled.

I have pre-existing mental health problems, and am so worried about how I'm feeling.

DH is back at work on Monday, and I don't know what I'm going to do, he is doing all the nappies and being amazing.

I just want my old life back.

queenofeverywhere Fri 07-Mar-14 11:10:50

You've both been through a lot in the last 8 days. You're probably feeling lost and overwhelmed as well as physically and emotionally drained. Give yourself a break, you're doing great! You've got a healthy little girl and a fantastic husband to support you. Talk to your midwife about how you're feeling as she will be able to offer you support while hubby is at work. The first few weeks are really hard as you adjust to this new experience and it'll take every ounce of strength to get through but please be assured it is totally worth it!! grin

Nordicmom Fri 07-Mar-14 12:29:36

Oh I've been there with DS(9 y) had an emcs too and struggled with breast feeding and actually had to give up and move on to formula since he lost 25% of his weight in a week . The first few weeks are very hard and I feel for you if you don't have any other help after your DH goes back to work . My DH stayed home only a week but my mother came for a week so had some one there full time for 2 w and then after that DMIL came once a week and stayed a night helping with DS. It really does get easier after a few weeks . I found I felt physically much better after 1-2 w and by 6 w we were in some sort of routine . I've had depression before and it still comes and goes but luckily didn't get pnd . I was lonely and tired and bored though . First one is a huge adjustment . I looked forward to the postnatal classes just to meet people and did make some friends I still have . When DS was 2-3 m i started to go to library rhyme times etc so got out the door and saw people . I'm still in touch with some of them .
It takes time but I hope you'll feel better soon. If u r struggling mentally or physically you must ask for help. Talk to your husband ,friends , parents, midwife , GP !
I wish you all the best and congratulations on our babysmile! It'll get better, I Promise !
We're trying for our 3rd now .our second took 5 y so this one might too...

Beccadugs Tue 11-Mar-14 18:50:41

Thanks ladies!

Have decided to bottle feed, express whatever I can and then use formula.

Still feeling really tearful. It's so hard!

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