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Does PND return? Not sure if it's back after 5/6 months of feeling better

(3 Posts)
LoopyLa Thu 13-Feb-14 15:39:56

The above really. I've been starting to feel more & more down about things but don't know if it's PND or just circumstances in my life have changed & maybe I haven't got my head round them yet, if that makes sense? Nothing has changed in a negative respect but I'm finding it hard to find some positives to focus on.
I've recently moved to a lovely 'forever' home with my DH & DS (15 months) & resigned from work although I never went back after mat leave. I'm feeling massively broody but couldn't imagine looking after a newborn when my DS doesn't sleep through, still has a milk at night & still doesn't self-settle - although feel like a mean Mummy for mentioning the above as teething, constant cold & a new home is bound to be unsettling for him. I also don't know if everything I'm feeling is PMT & SAD, rather than depression confused
Should I be asking for help again? It took 6 months when I got referred previously and the counselling was really good but I was hoping to be "cured" once & for all hmm

beccyboots Fri 14-Feb-14 10:10:36

Hi Loopyla
I'm really sorry to hear things aren't so great at the moment. I don't know if every medical professional calls a return of depression when your child is still young, a return of PND - but this happened to me too, and my doctor suggested it was PND.
But perhaps the term for it doesn't really matter? The important thing is that you recognise you are not feeling your best, and that you are thinking about how to sort it out. Whether it is SAD, PND, PMT or something else, the trickiest part is often to recognise it and to then seek help. So you are a step ahead in getting to where you want to be. Once you have spoken to a professional about it, identifying the cause will hopefully be part of the process of getting better.
And it is not surprising you are feeling blue. Lots of 15 month olds don't sleep through or self-settle, and after 15 months, quite honestly it is knackering! Lack of a good night's sleep can make you feel very down. And you mustn't feel mean for mentioning facts about your DS's sleep habits. They are a fact, and they are tiring for you. It's not bad to recognise that - it's actually good! Doesn't mean you love him any less.
And moving house is up there with deaths in family and divorce, as the top most stressful situations. And you have done this whilst very tired. I am amazed at how reasonable and together and positive you sound, really. I think you have been remarkably strong. When we moved house, my not-very-good-at-sleeping DS was three and a half, and blimey, there was some fruity language and slamming of boxes from me. It wasn't great. And I bet you did all the packing!
You say you haven't been back to work, and I didn't for two years, either. It felt like an enormous relief at the time. I couldn't imagine dealing with the stress, whilst being so tired, busy and loved-up at home.
I did go back to work for a while, and I realised that I needed this mental stimulation, and some non-baby-talk conversations, and a break from playing choo-choos. As much as I valued my new mum friends, and playing with my DS, I also needed to remember and revisit who I was. So I worked very very part-time with a group of people I had something - another passion - in common with, and this proved to be as effective as the anti-depressants and talking therapy I was prescribed.
I'm not saying you should go back to work, but perhaps have a think about the time and the quality of that time, that you have to yourself? Even a few hours a week spent wisely, can be of huge value. And don't feel guilty about taking some you-time. The healthier you are mentally, the better a mum you will be. Make it a priority, once you've spoken to your GP.
Good luck, Loopyla It's all sortable, and you are part-way there. You are insightful, grateful for what you have, and you love your son, so I bet you have some good friends who would be happy to help you through, if you share your concerns with them too.
Best wishes.

LoopyLa Sat 15-Feb-14 20:06:50

Thank you Beccyboots for taking the time to reply, I only saw this just now. You've made a lot of sense to me & I think I know what I need to do, but you've given me the encouragement to do it smile Thank you again, you don't know how much I appreciate it thanks

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