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sending you all hope!

(4 Posts)
kazza446 Mon 30-Dec-13 07:35:29

Hi all. I have followed lots of threads on this topic for last 3 months after being diagnosed with antenatal depression. I confided in my doctor and husband about how I felt about being a mother for the 4th time at around the 6 month mark. Before this I denied anything was wrong, put on a brave face and smiled when deep down inside I resented my husband, blaming him for the unplanned pregnancy and greatly resented what I perceived at his freedom.
Having antenatal depression was a nightmare. People told me to pull myself together, ignored something was wrong or just couldn't understand how I wasn't looking forward to having another baby.
As the birth became nearer, I became more anxious. Having also suffered with post natal depression o could not conceive how I would feel about having some blues and caring for a baby I didn't love.
To cut a long story short. I gave birth to a little boy on Friday afternoon. He was born by planned c section and as soon as I heard his little voice my heart just melted!
I know its only 4 days in but the relief I have felt, knowing that this wee Man is ok and is going to be loved by me is immense.
Just hope that it continues but right now I'm on cloud 9! I never envisaged feeling this good before birth!hope that this may be an inspiration to anyone else experiencing antenatal depression xx

Sencho Tue 31-Dec-13 13:09:05

Oh wow I'm so happy for you. I can imagine the relief. I'm 9 weeks pregnant and feel so so down. I'm hoping it goes away but I feel no joy or excitement at the moment. And of course I feel dreadfully guilty for feeling this way.

Mikkii Tue 31-Dec-13 13:14:15

I'm glad that things were better than you feared.

My best friend has suffered with PND, please consider seeking help early if any of the symptoms occur, as it does take some time for treatment to work.

Enjoy your son grin

kazza446 Wed 01-Jan-14 10:46:47

sencho it is easy to feel down when you are in early stages of pregnancy, you will be knackered, possibly feel sick and are about to face s life changing event. Hopefully you will start to pick up. If you don't, please seek help. It is possible to take anti depressants when pregnant and there is support out there. (My gp was fantastic, mental health team input was shocking though) The best advice I received was from gp telling me that not all women feel ecstatic at getting pregnant and not to feel guilty for feeling like that. He actually signposted me to. this website and suggested I looked at all similar threads on here. It was only then I realised it was ok to feel like this.
If you feel strong enough find someone to confide in. I found that when I spoke to a few friends who already had children many of them had experienced similar anxieties too.
I can't lie, even up to the day of his birth I could not see anything positive about it all and I did expect to not want him once he was born. I even asked to be away from other mums as I couldn't bear the thought of being around maternal mums but as soon as he was born and I heard him cry, all my doubts disappeared & the love for him is over whelming. My anxieties around the pregnancy were related to finances and work stress. Having my baby has made me realise that such stresses aren't worth it. I'm going to enjoy my time off with wee man and usr the time to seek out alternative employment.
I am aware that my black cloud may reappear in time and that I am probably having a little honeymoon period right now but if it does I will seek help from my gp and will have no hesitation in taking anti depressants. After all I've a little family relying on me being well.
Good luck with the pregnancy. Hopefully you will start to feel more positive soon.
mikkii thank you xxx

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