Think I've got antenatal depression, 18 weeks pg. Advice & handholding would be appreciated.
I work ironically in mental health have a v demanding role and feeling overwhelmed with work stress. I've had some difficult family dynamics crop up before I got pg. One sibling is pretty toxic and I don't speak to her nor do my parents. My other sister I was close to has betrayed my family hugely, financially in that she put our family flat (in her name as she was oldest, bought when a student, intended as an investment for our future) on the market without telling us. The implication appears to be that she intends to give us if anything a small cut. The hurt betrayal and anger I have felt has been enormous. I have attempted to address it but received an abusive text and she has cut me out of her life along with mum. I continue to feel hurt and betrayal. The sisters found out I was pg but it's not their business. I keep thinking why are we having dc 2 if this is my sibling experience?
At home things have been tense since got pg. Planned but from the minute I got bfp had second thoughts. Occasionally dh says 'You wanted this. .but you're not coping". I'm taking it out on him and all probs within relationship have been magnified . We r in counselling and it's tough. I feel guilty at getting so angry towards him. and there is only so much misery he can take 
.
Work been v v stressful and I'm personalizing a lot of stuff. I presented a case discussion today and colleagues were objectively pretty critical. It left me feeling incompetent and humiliated more than ever
I feel incompetent as a mother , wife, sister daughter and friend too. ds aged 2.6 feel neglecting his emotional needs he's picking up on my emotional vibes.
I feel v ambivalent towards baby. Trying to feign excitement. Nothing inside. Tears constantly.
I'm thinking of getting signed off for a few days putting ds in nursery, sleeping and looking after myself. Should I?
And...homeopathy vs antidepressants?
If anyone takes the trouble to read, thank you.
Our Antenatal and Postnatal Depression forum is a supportive space where you can share your postnatal depression experiences.
Antenatal/postnatal depression
antenatal depression, can anyone advise?
apprenticemamma · 01/10/2013 19:53
I had crashingly severe pnd but looking back I had it before I have birth too.
Seek help now, homeopathy if you're into that is COMPLIMENTARY and should work alongside conventional medicine, not be used instead of.
See your gp asap. I remember mentioning how I felt to my midwife but she dismissed my fears. So my advice will always be see a gp.
thank you Val and harry. Appreciate your advice.
Was thinking herbal remedies as a safer option to antidepressants but will discuss with gp.
I am going to look into natal hypnotherapy CD bc I am so worried re bonding. Where from and any partucular one? I blurted out in counselling that I didn't want baby and feel so guilty for saying out loud
.
Which made me think I could try pregnancy yoga class as I loved pg yoga last time and would also help bond.
Working in mental health makes this also quite difficult as I defo don't want a referral to my colleagues 
.
thanks Scottish you have given me hope but also made me cry.
I'm getting into horrendous crying cycles that feels like a switch in my brain has been switched. it is hard to control and does feel quite biological like hormonal. This is all new to me this year, has anyone else had this? I'm hoping amitriptyline will reduce the tearfulness as I can't be crying in front of my ds anymore.
thanks again. So helpful to discuss anonymously
pokes thank you for sharing your experience. it's so good to hear of successes and positive outcomes. Take on board what u say about lifestyle too. Is this your first? Congratulations too bc u have been on an ivf journey and that must ve been stressful in itself, and then the pressure to burst into pregnancy related joy when actually pregnancy can fuck with your head too.
Good to hear re gp. My gp was about 23 and no offence but a bit clueless. She did refer me to antenatal unit as I have been having bad stabby stomach cramps too. Baby's heart beat etc all good. And met the most helpful mw and cons obstetrician who specialises in mh and is willing to monitor me (for reasons of confidentiality perinatal mh team not snap option). He was v sympathetic and agreed that this is stess&depression and Scottish he seemed far happier to prescribe the amitriptyline than gp-child. Recommended lots of rest. I'm going to see gp-child Friday for the script.
I feel better now just for facing my demons. Pokes keep us posted. Thanks everyone. 
Well done :) Did you get signed off?
I walked out of work in the end, went straight to my MW and she whisked in the on-duty GP to sign me off for the rest of my pregnancy. I spent the next few weeks until I was hospitalised sitting at home with the curtains drawn crying 
I can recommend not doing that!
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Ah sorry about useless GP. I've seen plenty of them in the past, I think my surgery has a lot of newly qualified or trainee GPs and they often seem out of their depth with stuff like this. But now I've found a good one I always request to see her. Glad you got to see helpful people in antenatal unit though, it sounds like you're getting the right support. And good to hear all is well with your baby :)
This is my 2nd child, first one is 6 yo and was an unplanned (although not unwanted) pregnancy - and believe it or not I found it a lot less stressful than this extremely well planned one! Although I remember hating pregnancy that time round as well, but more the physical aspects - and I obviously totally forgot this until I got pregnant again
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