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Concerned about my cousin

(3 Posts)
majormoo Wed 11-Sep-13 22:13:08

My cousin had her first baby 8 months ago and I am worried about her state of mind. She had a traumatic birth and took a long time to physically recover. The result of this was that she did not go out much when the baby was tiny. For example, in the first couple of months, she was too frightened to carry the baby downstairs so she would wait upstairs all day until her husband came home from work.
Now the baby is 8 months she is out and about, I believe, but she just isn't herself. She rarely sees her family. For example, she is not coming to a family christening because the baby has a swimming lesson and swimming is an important life skill.Another cousin was told not to visit while she was weaning the baby. Prior to the baby she was gregarious and involved in the extended family. I know that her mum and brothers are worried about her, but they are also keen not to upset her in anyway. They do not want to rock the boat and risk alienating her completely.
Of course it is possible she just wants a break from family and the social pressures she might feel that brings. I know we all change when we become parents, but this does not feel right. Her mum says as far as she knows her daughter does go to the local baby clinic but to outsiders you would not realise anything was amiss. Her mum thinks she is obsessed with the baby to the point she cannot see anything else in her life.
So does it sound like a problem or just a phase? She's quite within her rights to shut off her family if she wishes. However, if it is a problem (which my instinct is screaming at me it is) is there anything I can do?

AndIFeedEmGunpowder Thu 12-Sep-13 06:34:50

Not an expert but have had friends who ave suffered and sounds like PND to me. Your poor cousin sad Do you feel like you could say anything to her? If not would you feel like it was too big a breach of trust to speak to her Health Visitor?

One of my friends, who to an outsider seemed like she was coping perfectly, really wasn't at all, and was desperate for someone to realise.

majormoo Thu 12-Sep-13 09:10:52

the problem is I do not live nearby and she is very distant if we suggest visiting her. I don't even live in the same health authority. I wouldn't want to ask her mum/brothers to talk to health visitor as they are worried they will do the wrong thing/say the wrong thing as ig is

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