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Second pregnancy and feeling down

(4 Posts)
Shootingstarsandcomets Fri 03-May-13 13:34:43

Sorry if this is all self indulgent!
I have a beautiful 8 month old ds who I adore and who will be 14 months old when my second baby arrives. The second pregnancy wasn't planned and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. DH is supportive but sometimes can be incredibly insensitive. He goes out with work quite a bit and I ask him how his night was as I like to hear little snippets of a world outside babies and he just gets cross and thinks I'm nosey. We live rurally and I don't have friends here so am alone all day pretty much aside from groups we go to but everyone seems so busy they don't need a new friend.
DH's parents live nearby and are incredibly helpful but sometimes I don't want my social life to be my mil!!
I was going to go back to work 3 days a week but can't now I'm pregnant again so maybe I'm feeling a little trapped as well. Am sure it will all fall into place again but just had to write it down!

amazingmumof6 Fri 03-May-13 19:59:04

I'm sorry you are feeling lonely - I had a similar situation regarding no friends until my kids started playgroup-primary school.

I moved to England 15 years ago and once I became a mum it was really hard to make friends with other mums. not for lack of trying mind you, but all other new mums already had their friends and family, so they just had no time for me.

I guess your DH is probably just tired and maybe the work dinners are so boring he can't be bothered to talk about them, or perhaps he feels you are checking on him.

Whatever the reasons, he should try and be more understanding with how you are feeling.

Does he realize you feel isolated?

I'd write him a letter and give it to him to read when he has time.
I'm sure he'll be surprised that your "nosiness" is just a surface of some deeper emotions and he'll be happy to chat to you about stuff, but if he really doesn't like talking about the work night outs, don't force it.
I'm sure that there are lot of other things you can talk about.

But by all means don't live through him.
you have to learn to entertain yourself and do things that interest you, so try and have a hobby, read a book, start a project.
don't wait for him to make your day.

I can imagine you two having lovely conversations when you can start by saying ; "listen what I found out/done today...." rather than just you quizzing him...

what do you think?

Shootingstarsandcomets Sat 04-May-13 07:38:52

Thanks for your reply. We had a lovely chat when he got home and he just didnt realise how I was feeling. I think the feeling of being trapped is because I thought I was going to get some of my old life back when I went back to work but that isn't happening now but like you said I'm going to do something that interests me and then make it into a business when I'm ready. Even if I don't earn any money it'll be something for me.
Thanks for taking the time to reply, guess we all have good days and bad days and yesterday just got to me.

amazingmumof6 Sat 04-May-13 10:58:03

am glad you are feeling better!

and of course congrats on little baby!

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