I don't know where I should be posting this or what answers I want from it. My DD was born September 2012.
I had a really difficult labour, 27 hours, forceps, the works! The day I brought my DD home my boyf invited his parents and their partners round, I said yes, for half an hour. I wanted to try and establish breast feeding, I was struggling and got no support in hospital.
They all descended on us within 30 mins of getting home from the hospital, everything was fine until MIL and my boyf suggested everyone have a drink to celebrate, so she went the shop with her partner and came back with a crate of beer and three bottles of wine (she's a chav). I was really upset and freaked out by this, I just stood up and said I'm going to bed and took the baby with me.
I was completely hysterical, on my own with my newborn in my bedroom on what should have been the happiest day of my life. I rang my mum (who was giving us a few days space to be with baby) and she text my boyf and told him he should send everyone home.
They were all in the living room drinking and watching football, boyf came in and we had a huge row, he couldn't understand why I was upset. MIL was in the bathroom listening and came in when he stormed into the living room, she tried to console me and told me that she was so happy because I am the VESSEL that has brought her grandchild. I was in tears and said I thought you would understand, you have had two babies. I think she just wanted to be next to the baby and didn't care if I was upset or not.
MIL turned up that with a card for the baby and a crappy blanked that absolutely reaked of smoke, (she later blamed that fact, she didn't have a present on me because I didn't like anything he picked while I was pregnant. But she showed me things before I was 12 weeks and I wanted to wait, she helped us pick a Moses basket which was to be a gift from her, she still hasn't given us any money for it).
I was eventually coaxed back into the living room, MIL offered me a glass of wine and said you can drink now your not breastfeeding, knowing full well how upset I was that I was struggling and I had been really passionate about doing it throughout my pregnancy (she bottle fed). I refused and said no I'm having an early night and just had a baby, she seemed taken aback by this.
Anyway, in laws stayed for 4 hours, drinking and watching football, I was sat crying right in front of them with my baby in my arms. Yet they still stayed, only when my boyf saw how upset I was (after 4 hours) that he asked everyone to go home.
I am angry because my boyf was so thoughtless and I feel he was only thinking about his parents and didn't give a hoot about me. I'm angry with my PIL because of how they acted and treated me, I literally felt like a walking womb, or vessel as my MIL so nicely put it.
Thing is, this was nearly 5 months ago and I still can't let it go. I sit and dwell on it, I get really upset about it and I'm actually welling up just writing this post.
I have had endless arguments/discussions with boyf over this, told him that they all ruined they day for me, what should have been a happy occasion was destroyed for me. He has apologised so many times, but I think he still thinks I overreacted.
Oh and I gave up breast feeding at 4 months, it was a constant struggle and battle. I feel guilty and am extremely resentful about this, I feel everything that happened contributed to it.
I'm not sure if this has set off postnatal depression or I am just feeling depressed, I just can't get past it.
Sorry for the long rant, I've had this bottled up for ages.
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Antenatal/postnatal depression
MIL, FIL & Boyf ruined the day I brought my baby home
megab · 23/02/2013 01:22
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