Feeling pretty fed up/bored/missing work/no motivation....the list goes on!(6 Posts)
Hi this is my first post and I'm hoping to get some help full advice!
I have a 15 week of daughter and have so far been coping OK (apart from those first few weeks that everyone goes through hell!) But for the past week or so I have been feeling really fed up and down and don't seem to have any motivation. All I ever seem to do is get up feed then take the dog and buggy out for a walk then that's it for the day I just seem to potter about the house doing chores in between feeds and sit thinking about how much I miss my job (I worked with horses so being inside all day is driving me mad!) I love my daughter dearly and wouldnt change her for the world, so feeling fed up makes me feel guilty like I am resenting her (which I don't by the way) and makes me feel like a ba mummy. She's a good baby and generally sleeps through 12hours at night so she isn't causing me any stress, I just feel really fed up about being stuck in all day. I was wondering if other mums feel this way and what sort of things they do with there baby to get out and make themselves feel better???
Please don't be mean, in no way am I saying I wish I hadn't had my daughter I just need advice on ways to help me adapt to my lifestyle change?!
I always used to look at other new mothers who seemed to be a picture of maternal bliss and think why don't i feel like that, Its really hard to adapt, Its a total life change, give yourself a break, speak to someone about it, try and get some time doing something you really love. I found it hard i felt i had left my old life behind and i didn't know who i was anymore, now two babies down i have found a happy balance between the two. With my first i needed a break now and then, just to drive to a mates without the bottles, nappies, car seats and have a chat about normal stuff, i would drive with the music blarring! I would feel abit more like me. My advice is have a break from your little one. Feeling this way does not mean you don't love her. You are not alone.
thank you molly29 its good to no its not just me!
i have been offered my friends horse to ride so i think i will have to drop little one off at mums and go out for a nice ride to feel like myself again! something to look forward to aswel! thanks again :-)
Definitely agree with molly29 I would happily have gone back to work at 12 weeks, but now I'm so glad I didn't. I also used to stay in the house a lot - going out involved so much organisation. I used to cry in despair that the highlight of my week was a trip to the supermarket!
Get someone to have your baby for a couple of hours and meet a friend for coffee, go for a ride or walk, do some shopping, have a massage, or even (as long as baby is off site) just stay at home and have a long bath or watch a film.
I hated the idea of baby groups, so never did that, but I did have a friend who had a baby about the same time so we used to take it in turns to have each other around. In time, you will adapt to your new life and resume old activities or maybe take up new ones.
It's very common to feel like this and all those supermums you see are putting on a brave face!
You sound very normal. The loss of everything familiar can be really hard to come to terms with. I wanted to go back to work on week 5! I missed the adults, the conversation and company. I felt lost and the drudgery of house work really got me down.
It's important you have some adult interaction. Spend time with friends, do something you used to do even just go for a coffee without the baby. Get your hair done, go out for tea with a girl friend. My leisure centre used to have a baby crèche, they would take baby for a couple of hours and I could go swimming or for coffee , child free. It was a life saver.
I also set up a routine of baby groups, I didn't like them all but I picked two a week that again helped me feel less lonely. I used to take little one to the library where there was a story telling thing. He liked to listen and it got me out the house.
I was then made redundant 4mths into my maternity leave and ended up back at college. I loved it, one night a week, no baby talk and all just for me!
It's so easy to get lost in it all during the first few months.
Thank you everyone it's nice to hear encouraging words!!
I have made the effort to write a list of things available to do on each day like play groups, swimming, etc so I have a choice of things to do which has made me feel more positive, I also took myself on a shopping trip without baby on Sunday which gave me a nice break!! Feeling a lot better than I did! Thanks again x
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