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Antenatal anxiety

(2 Posts)
amazingmumof6 Sat 05-Jan-13 11:24:22

I'm so sorry you feel like this!

I had a miscarriage after our 4th child.
I had nausea and cravings and migraines, was exhausted and sick, but I was fine - these are all usual things for me.
there were no signs whatsoever until the scan at 12 weeks showed there was a problem! had another scan 2 days later and it was all over, no heartbeat, just like that. shocking. I could not have known.

BUT!!! we have 6 healthy children, with a variety of symptoms/problems through pregnancies and births ranging from forceps with episiotomy to C-section to baby born with 3 pushes or no need for stitches - so every pregnancy and birth is different and just because you feel more uncomfortable it does not mean you are loosing this baby!
Equally, if everything looks ok it doesn't mean it will be, sadly, but worrying is actually bad for you and bad for baby, so as you can't tell what will happen try and stop convincing yourself it will be a disaster!

with 5th and 6th I was holding my breath, but tried to tell myself that there's nothing I can do to influence whether baby will be healthy or not, early or late.
so I just had to push negative thoughts out of my mind and be as healthy as possible otherwise, cheer up by watching a lot of comedy and distract myself with hobbies and housework and kids and really stay positive.

I can only advise you to do the same, and just hang in there for a few more weeks till the 1st trimester is over - I always found that I felt more settled once the nausea and crazy tiredness was easing up.

I hope this is helpful, I wish I could give you a hug.

Apanicaday Fri 04-Jan-13 19:32:34

Am posting here in the hopes of some support/ideas/help, as at the moment I'm really struggling.

I have a history of anxiety and OCD, and it gets worse when I'm pregnant and postnatally. I'm now 10 weeks pregnant with my third and it's probably the worst it's ever been.

I'm totally and utterly convinced I'm going to lose this baby - I've been particularly crampy and uncomfortable this time round (which various people have told me is totally normal with a third, particularly when carrying a chunky 22month old around), but every little twinge makes me think "this is the miscarriage starting". I spend my days obsessing over every symptom, googling things, and planning what I will do when I start bleeding. I'm finding it hard to plan going to things because I'm convinced I won't makeit because I'll be miscarrying. And then I'm terrified because if I miscarry, then I'll have to go through all this again if I want to have a (very very much wanted) third child.

I've told my GP, who told me I needed to "be strong" and that there's nothing they can do, I'm seeing a counsellor for unrelated anxiety, who has told me there is this this and this I can try "but now probably isn't the best time to be trying it", I've spoken to a midwife, who told me that I have to talk to my GP, and I've been back to another GP who has told me that after 12 weeks then I could maybe go on ADs again, but that they aren't keen on it, and who knows if the benefit is worth the risk, and that she would refer me through a different mental health service but there aren't any assessment places available for weeks and even then she doesn't know what would've available.

I'm at the end of my tether - the thought of another 6 months of this is horrendous (and I'm totally sure I won't get to full term - sure it will all have gone wrong before then). I have no idea where to go for help. I'm feeling pretty much abandoned with it all, and I'm so frustrated - I knew this would happen, I was proactive about it (I went and spoke to the GP when we were ttc to see if I could sort out some kind of support before it all went wrong, and she said to come back once I was pregnant) and now it has happened and I'm still left wondering where on earth I can turn for some help.

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