Dh going back to work

[Micha54178]

My husband is due back to work tomorrow, after two weeks off for Christmas. I have only just managed to get through the past couple of weeks with him here and I have no idea how I'm going to cope without him here. I don't remember how I did it before and I don't know if I can.

I would like to say that it's been wonderful having him home with me and dc's but its still been difficult. But he has given me the chance to run and hide when I need to, he picks up the slack when I can't!
I sometimes think that dc's would be much better off if he stayed at home.
What am I supposed to do. I can feel myself starting to panic and its getting worse.

[Munchkinmommy]

Hi Micha,
First of all big hugs to you! You are not alone, lots of moms feel like this I know I often do. It's hard being a mom as its a 24/7 job. Why wouldn't you miss the help of your hubby? :-) but have faith in yourself!
Have you spoken to your HV about your feelings? They can help you and put you in touch with other moms through support groups etc, they did so for me. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Not just from the HV but from friends and family. It may stop you from feeling so panicked. I found that once I told a few people how I felt and they offered to help out I stopped fretting and then didn't actually need any help because I could cope on my own :-) x

[Micha54178]

Hi munchkin, I hope your right. My hv is coming to see me next week. She aware that I struggle a bit. Sadly I have no friends at all, I've tried joining a few groups and things but so far no luck. My family are not too far away, but for various reasons I find it difficult to confide in them. I'm a bit of a sad case really. I'm going to try to go out with the kids tomorrow hoping that it will break up the day and also the fresh air should wear them both out. I want to do so much and end up achieving so little

[Micha54178]

Thanks for the hug.

[Micha54178]

Argh!!! Wish I could sleep! I am so very tired, baby has been asleep since 9 tonight ( a breakthrough in itself ) and I'm lying in bed, while dh snores beside me, crying my eyes out! Argh! I so want to be normal again!

[doublecakeplease]

It's hard sometimes - try not to beat yourself up :-)

Can you break down your anxieties? Are there certain bits of life / parenting that you do cope well with that you could build on? Are there certain bits you really struggle with that we could help with?

[Micha54178]

Hey double, everything I guess. I don't think I give any where near enough attention to either of my youngest. Dd2 is constantly asking me to play with her, which I normally can't because I'm feeding/changing/ cooking/ cleaning or just can't be bothered! How shit does that make me? I panic if I'm out, I'm sure that others know there's something wrong with me. I feel trapped at home. At its worse i really don't want to be here and have planned how to leave kids with dh, take them to his office, pa k small bag and never come back! At night I lay awake usually trapped between ds1 and dh wishing that they were both gone! I am so crap!

[Micha54178]

Sorry. I'm in full in rant mode! Does explain why I don't make friends..... Only let the crazy out a little at a time

[Munchkinmommy]

Really hope your HV is as helpful as mine. The support groups are great and an easy way to meet other moms. Have you joined regular classes with your little ones?
If things are feeling really bad then you should go and see your GP. I did and she gave me a mild dose of anti depressant and has booked me in for some counselling.. Would you consider seeing your GP? I obviously don't know you at all but I know making friends can be hard at the best of times let alone when your low, tired and stressed. I think that if you can get some help and support then you will feel more like yourself and make friends more easily. You need to give yourself some tlc honey, don't be down on yourself and go and get some help. It doesn't make you a bad person or mom if you ask for help it makes you an aware and responsible one. X

[Micha54178]

Hi munchkin, I'm quite lucky my hv is pretty good. I haven't seen her for a few weeks now, but she's due round next week.
I don't fancy seeing my GP. They are ok but I don't know if I want to go down the route of AD. I'm not sure about counselling? I'm going to start going to a pnd group, but I'm waiting for a place!! They have also arranged baby massage group and I'm trying to go to a play group once a week. Haven't managed to do that for quite a while! On a brighter note, I had quite a good day yesterday. Took both little ones swimming. They loved it and slept a lot after!! Thanks for chatting with me. I do miss having anyone to talk to about anything.
I don't always feel like I can do this, but I'm trying and people like you help so much.

[Munchkinmommy]

I felt the same about tablets. I went to see my GP and she has put me down for counselling. She prescribed me tablets but I'll be honest I didn't take them for a couple of weeks as I was hoping to avoid them. But I have started taking them now and have felt fine.
If you want to have counselling I think your GP will need to refer you.
Glad you have some groups to go to. I find I am worse when I am alone at home too often so I try to attend something most days. What surprised me is how many moms feel like we do and how many people have taken ads. I have discovered 3 people I know well who have taken them at some point. I think what I have learned over the last few weeks is that lots of people have periods when they feel down and overwhelmed, and what greater trigger than the stresses and strains of being a mom!

[Whatnameforme]

Thanks munchkin, sorry for confusion. It was time for a name change!
I am trying to make sure I get out each day and that I do the right things for me and little ones. I just need someone to talk to some times.
The way today has been ill be glad when dh does go to work!!
I try to keep an open mind about treatments and hopefully i will soon start to feel normal. Thanks for taking time to talk to me and let me know your experiences. It helps a lot