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I feel like I have no feelings for DF....preg hormones???

(5 Posts)
loula24 Mon 18-Jun-12 16:25:45

Hi, it sounds like you may have relationship obsessive compulsive disorder (ROCD) as you say you're a sufferer of OCD. This is when you have constant doubts about your partner & think you want to leave them even though underneath you love them. It is an anxiety disorder & often flares up badly in pregnancy. Have a look at or just google ROCD. I hope you find some reassurance that lots of people have this condition. I'm pregnant too at the moment & really struggling over how I feel about my husband, but now I know it's the ROCD playing up it helps a bit.

Coldfeetprego Sun 17-Jun-12 16:38:54

Hi there,
I was googling your very same concern for a while. I am 8 weeks along and feel very similarly. Thank god I have a psychotherapist I see, and I have my mum close, even though we haven't had the best relationship up to now. What has been helpful has been to talk to close friends who don't judge me for not feeling like the ecstatic pregnant ladies we seem to be supposed to be. Regarding my fiance, I feel just like you do. Sometimes I wonder why the hell I am with him, or fantasize about leaving him. Sometimes I regret this very wanted pregnancy, but a good friend said something to me I would like to pass on. She said this pregnancy came from a very deep longing, even if I am filled with doubts now. And also to let him show up and help in the ways that he could... My point is: just wait, you don´t have to dump him right now, think of him as a co-partner in this adventure of having a child, don´t expect him to be perfect, just let him offer the things he can to help. And regarding the move: try to find a place where you have a little space of your own. Don´t rush it! Spend time with other people you like, or in forums like this. I know it has done wonders for me, I feel less alone with these feelings... Maybe you will not be with this fiance, but perhaps you subconsciously chose him also because he would be a good dad, and perhaps a good child-rearing partner. He doesn't have to be your husband or anything down the line, but there's no need to take drastic measures right now. Explain to him that you feel really strange (feel free to add nausea and any other symptoms) and that you need your space while things continue to fall into place. Don't give up! And seek all the help you can, look for things that make you feel good and pass the time, try to pamper yourself and remember that this too will pass. Perhaps at the end you will realize you don't want to be with this man, you have time to decide. Best to you! And thanks for making me feel less alone in a very similar situation!

Sowlers Tue 13-Mar-12 16:36:54

Hi I didn't want this to go unanswered...I'm not an expert or anything but just wanted to say I think with your history that you need to see your GP about how you are feeling. Pregnancy can do really strange things to us (I had antenatal depression twice and I'm currently struggling a little with PND) there is help and support out there and it sounds like you could do with some support. Being pregnant with other kids to care for too is pretty exhausting. Maybe if you talked to your fiancé it might help take the pressure off a bit. You don't have to go into detail about how you think you feel about him in particular but you could tell him you are feeling quite low and stressed, explain its likely a hormonal thing?
I hope someone who has had a similar experience comes along soon and has some better advice.....

caija Tue 13-Mar-12 13:07:15

Bump sad

caija Tue 13-Mar-12 12:46:35

Hi everyone, just as the title says really don't know what is going on with me atm.
Me n DF haven't been together long and I'm now pregnant with my DC3. Things were great before I got pregnant, this could also be the honeymoon of the relationship too?
The last couple of weeks I have felt like I am making excuses not to see him etc, questioning myself if I fancy him or not, feel like he's nothing
But an added pressure to me I am so scared that these are my real feelings and I'm gonna end up on my own with 3 dc. I've been Gettn early scans as I have had 3mc's before and I haven't let him come to any, I don't feel I can, I like to deal with it on my own, until I know all is ok. I am 8/9 weeks now. Going on scan, 8 weeks, going On last period, 9 weeks. My DF doesn't yet live with me and everytime I
Imagine him doing so, I Panic. I can't even imagine it. He is meant to be coming over at two today, I'm just beside myself with nerves and feeling like I don't want him here.
This is driving me crazy.... I don't know if this is my true feelings or hormones..has anyone felt like this? Or has any advice? I feel physically sick thinking bout the way I'm feeling. I do have a history of severe PND, antenatal depression and was diagnosed with severe OCD after the birth of my ds, 5 sad

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