Ante-/postnatal depression and guilt

[janefairfax]

Hi, I suffered from very severe ante and postnatal depression with my first child and, five years later, I still feel guilty about it all the time, about having let her down, about its effect on her, whether she has been scarred by it etc. I feel like I have been such a bad mother, don't deserve to be a mother, and that I will be punished by something happening to my child (ie she will have been mentally damaged by my depression and anxiety). I am seeing a therapist and thinking about taking anti-ds but I wanted to post as well to see if anyone else has these feelings or - even better - has had them and managed to get over them.

[nowit]

Hi Jane,

I had PND after my b, I didn't know it until well afterwards and blamed myself totally for a horrid birth and labour as a whole. I think this is fairly common.

I just wanted to post and bump for you as I am sure there are plenty of people out there who have had similar experiences and can help.

[Tee2072]

I have clinical depression that fed into antenatal depression when I was pregnant and off my meds but, luckily, once I was back on my meds I was find and had no PND.

Take AntiDs. They don't have to be forever but they can help you clear your head enough to get through this. The feels of guilt, etc could very well be due to the depression and they will evaporate once the depression is treated.

[notonmywatch]

I had (have?) PND and a year old DD. I have been better for about 6 months. Previously I felt very very guilty about the first 6months and how little I loved her and enjoyed being a mum, but you know, I cannot change those 6 months. I adore her with every part of me now and enjoy being a mum (most of the time!) and that is what matters. What matters is going forward how you are....be positive. I went for counselling and take ADs and I hate to think where I would be without them!