Not depressed, but VERY tense and anxious and almost neurotic :s

[wobblyweeble82]

Ooh, I don't know know whats going on in my head folks. DD is 5 weeks old. I had a terrible pregnancy in and out of hospital with heart problems, an induction that didn't work (water went, and DD was born 5 days later), DD spent much of last week in hospital with a viral infection as she was never given any antibiotics at birth, and I've got to be restitched again in the coming weeks as I'm still torn and have a numb bum (!) :( And, basically, I feel so anxious about everything.

I'm constantly worried about DD - why has she not woken for the boob yet, why is she not smiling yet, oh god she's got the snuffles, what are those spots etc etc. I have a 7yr old DS so I should know better than all this! I've also become a bit agrophobic (said in the loosest sense). I don't want to go shopping as its too busy and too many people are about; the playground bothers me as I don't want everybody crowding round us and people putting their hands in the pram; and as for driving - I'm fine in the local vicinity but I'm meant to be going to my sisters tomorrow who lives 40mins away and I'm already thinking of an excuse ...

I don't feel depressed per se - I'm getting myself up, dressed, make up etc, and the house is looking remarkably clean and tidy considering I've a 5 week old! I'm just so anxious. My tummy is often in a knot and I find myself wanting to fast forward time a bit so its all less intense and she's stronger and bigger etc. I just don't know what to do to calm myself down. Any tips or advice gratefully received!

[WowOoo]

Congratulations!
You sound tired and stressed like a lot of new mums.
Anyone there who can help you catch up on sleep and rest more.
What can you do to relax where you don't worry?
How about seeing GP or health visitor?

I find music very calming - calm chilled music of course. And relaxation exercises: yoga and stretching.
I still am anxious that ds2 is going to run off, choke on crusty bread etc etc but am keeping things in perspective.
Who else can you talk to?
Mn is here to help.

[wobblyweeble82]

Hey wowoo :) DH, bless him, jsut tells me to calm down but that does absolutely nothing to alleviate me! As for help around the house, I think I'm alright with that and DD is a good sleeper really too. I'm up twice with ehr in the night normally and she'll literally feed and then doze back off within half an hour. If I could spend my days lolling in the bath, I would. That grounds me - an hour in the bath with the paper and the radio and most importantly the door shut tight... But DH works 12 hr days so its not always as easy as that is it? I just feel I need to get my head together but I jsut can't. And this is not like me - I'm normally laid back, easy come, easy go. Neuroticism isn't my thing! I'll have to look into relaxation techniques - how do you turn your brain off though? Seriously? Mines a quagmire of turning cogs 24/7. I find myself imagining thes awful things - like every time I walk down the stairs with her in my arms, I get this awful feeling about what would happen if I fell down them etc. Driving my bonkers, it is. I don't think I'm depressed - wouldn't the gp jsut pop me on some pills?

[WowOoo]

Turning your brain off. Wish I had the magic answer to that one. I can't switch mine off a lot of the time.
Try this: close eyes and imagine a blackboard with a white dot/ flame in the middle. Keep staring at it and fill your mind with this small pretty dot and forget anything else.
It's so so normal to be wired and alert with a new baby. Your body is on alert and hormones all over place. I remember it well and look back wistfully to those blissful times when ds' were asleep and I could watch TV, take a long bath, whatever!
Can you have a bath with your baby? any time of the day is ok. I used to do this or leave him outside the bath playing with bath toys and bubbles.

[WowOoo]

That dot on black canvas is for when I can't sleep. It's a bit like meditation...So for when i'm lying in bed head not switched off I mean.
Not when in the bath in case you fall asleep.

[WowOoo]

By the way wobbly, my dh DID fall down the stairs when holding ds2. He was ok. (Dh was in bad books for long long time though as he was rushing. Plonker)

[wobblyweeble82]

Thanks for the other day wowoo - having a much better day today. Had a big long chat with my mum and feel a lot more grounded, so to speak. Mums are great aren't they? I forgot for a wee while ... But thanks for being an ear to bend :) I hope I can be that for somebody on here at some point. Made a huge difference that somebody was there, not judging me, just listening so thanks again.

And OMG at your DH!!! Glad they were both okay. When my ds was a few days old, his dad dropped a carton of fabric conditioner on his head ... Ithink its a man thing! Thanks again :)