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labour ward dilemma- who should be there!

(5 Posts)
Mama2b5 Sat 07-Nov-09 16:53:20

Im really seeking some answers to a question that is bugging me! Mother-in-law is assuming she will be at my labour, but i really dont think im comfortable with her being there - slightly personal i believe!HELP ME PLEASE!

luciemule Sat 07-Nov-09 17:06:45

HOw did she come to that conclusion?
Think I'd leave that one to DH to tell her that he's going to be there and that the midwives don't allow more than one person in the labour suite. She'll never know.........unless she's a midwife obviously!
Or I'd tell her straight that you would simply like your DH to be there. You feel it's a personal thing between DH and you and you know you won't upset her and thank you for taking an interest.....and you think she'll be much more help afterwards once you're home etc. Don't leave it up in the air though or it'll never be resolved and unless you're assertive and if she's manipulative like many MILs are, DH will side with her and you'll end up with her there.

BecauseImWorthIt Sat 07-Nov-09 17:10:39

You should have whoever you want at your birth. It's an entirely personal thing and your MIL (or your mother for that matter!) has no right assume that she will be there.

Your DH should be putting her straight.

If he won't, then you will have to.

Or, if the worst comes to the worst, simply don't tell her when you're in labout!

If you're having a hospital birth, tell the midwives that you don't want anyone with you, other than your DH.

memorylapse Sat 07-Nov-09 17:18:42

dont tell her when you go into labour and tell her that it was a fast labour and there was no time to let her knowgrin

If you do not want her there, then DH needs to tell her or failing that you,and inform the MW's of your decision..dont allow yourself to be railroaded into having her there

Mama2b5 Sat 07-Nov-09 17:22:14

Noticed this is incorrect place should be on pregnancy thread!
so cut and pasted the reply!

Thanks all - my mum was always there but since she passed( still so freshsad ) MIL is saying shes goin to be there, im cringing at the thought! and i feel the memory that i have of giving birth with my mum by myside will be spoilt!sad

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