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I am dreading telling my friend that I am pregnant

(4 Posts)
misschatterbox Wed 15-Jul-09 16:26:10

I have been friends with her since we were in secondary school. She lives in The Netherlands and we are due to visit her and her dh in September. She emailed me to say that they were trying for baby and had been since the beginning of the year. She also said how upset she felt when her bil's gf fell pregnant. I am now 12wks pregnant. When she emailed me I couldn't bring myself to say that I thought I was pregnant. I can't help thinking that maybe I should delay the holiday until next year as I don't want to make her feel upset if she is struggling tc and I have a big bump.
I am being a wimp and feeling guilty because I already have 2 dds.
How do I tell her?

RuthChan Wed 15-Jul-09 20:19:55

I am sure that your friend will find it difficult to hear that you are pregnant while she is ttc. However, I am sure that she would be more upset to think that the issue could come between you. As you are such good friends, I am sure that she will be able to find it in her heart to be happy for you. You just need to be considerate about how you discuss the matter with her and be sure not to make her feel as though you are rubbing her nose in it. If you keep it from her, she is more likely to be hurt in the long run. It's not something you can hide for long.

skidoodle Wed 15-Jul-09 20:34:46

Ouch, it's an awkward situation. I agree that you should tell her soon, especially if other people know and she might hear second hand.

You know her - would she prefer you to acknowledge the awkwardness upfront or to just assume she's happy for you? I know my sister was very much in the second camp and horrified by the idea that people might think she needed extra consideration in such matters.

She's not years and years into infertilty problems, just taking a while to get pregnant (hopefully) so it shouldn't be too raw and painful for her, just irksome.

misschatterbox Wed 15-Jul-09 20:51:38

Thank you for your advice. I know I have to be honest with her.

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