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Due April 2009 - Episode 10 - Fanjo Warriors demand Padded Purple rooms......Great Expectations!

(1001 Posts)
KittyCatIsGettingFat Mon 02-Feb-09 12:29:52

New thread for us all! How many days this time?? {grin}

Anyone for a homemade choc-chip cookie?

BabyBolat Mon 02-Feb-09 12:32:17

Yes please.... and if snow continues my guess is 4!

SpringySunshine Mon 02-Feb-09 12:38:08

Right, just posted on the old thread before I saw the new link, so I'll stick it here as well:

Eugh, BB - poor you. It is strange how pregnancy seems to go in cycles - it's nothing like the books say at all.

I hadn't seen that article, but I heard it mentioned on the news this morning. Some of it I agree with on at least a basic level - there are too few family values these days. Most families don't even eat around a table together (I'm from a reasonably middle class family & we didn't, even though DP & I are trying to get into the habit of it now before LO arrives), but it's ridiculous to suggest that it's the fault of these 'selfish women' who work & therefore 'abandon' their children. Or better yet, the implication that women break up families because they can financially afford to. Much better that they stay in an awful, potentially dangerous, relationship, eh? That'll set the kids up well for life...

KittyCat, you always sound so loved up grin Where did you find your DH? Can we all apply for some kind of upgrade?

Boffin, are you okay? Any pattern emerging, or are they dying down now?

SpringySunshine Mon 02-Feb-09 12:38:51

Also, I'll definitely take a cookie, please. I'm still after a man upgrade as well wink

BoffinMum Mon 02-Feb-09 12:42:06

They are still there but no pattern at all. I am going to turn my TENS machine off just in case that has something to do with it.

BoffinMum Mon 02-Feb-09 12:42:52

Not in the mood to offer up my fanjo to a mw for viewing. Might have a go at doing my own internal in a minute.

BabyBolat Mon 02-Feb-09 12:43:56

I agree with you Springy - there are things that are right about it case in point my bosses 7 year old son has had 3 tests and an interview just to get in to a school - that's not including all the SATs etc and I do think we need to instill more family values but BOTH my parents worked and we had dinner at the table every night, we spent every weekend visiting family etc etc and are all very close and family is integral to mine and DH's lives, but to say that children are suffering because women are working is truly truly ridiculous - particularly as women will be the dominant workforce by 2012 and the larger earners by 2015 so are integral to keeping this failing economy on it's feet! grrrr I am going to be a working mother and I think that is really good, I hope I inspire my daughters (and sons) to be independent and self-sufficient balanced with family time etc!

OK rant over!

Oh I know but just had a cadbury's cake bar to make up for it!

Oh and Springy McDreamy is MINE!!!

PuzzleRocks Mon 02-Feb-09 12:49:16

Sorry to jump in without catching up first but does anyone know if it is okay for me to drink a lemsip? Dr Boffin?

purplemonkeydishwasher Mon 02-Feb-09 12:49:18

i don't want to get caught up in a debate here but MY issue with reports like this is that it causes backlash. and suddenly people are saying negative things about women staying home.

Before DH and I were even married (back when I really really didn't want children) we both agreed that we would want one of us to stay at home. we both had our moms at home and appreciated that.

SO I am a SAHM. PROUDLY. I totally respect women who go out to work. but I don't feel like a lesser person because I stay home. we aren't very well off. I have to really work to make the money stretch, but that was the choice that we, as a couple made.

And I hope that I too am an inspiration to my children. I'm still everything a working mom is, i just do my work in the home.

BoffinMum Mon 02-Feb-09 12:49:47

I don't think it has done my kids anything but good, me working in an education related field. It has given them loads of advantages IMO. They also appear to like me doing it!

AuldAlliance Mon 02-Feb-09 12:50:46

Bringing this over from the last thread. Things move fast around here.

Gingersarah: I'm not very well-placed to compare, really, not having worked in the UK. I think the French system is, in many sectors (banking, computing, law, insurance, etc.), like the British in that people are expected to work very hard. Hence my DH getting back at 4am last week, because he had to finish a case urgently.
But globally, I think there is maybe a slight difference in that the whole consumer rush to spend, spend, spend never reached the heights here that it did in the UK. People are still attached to spending their weekends with the family, to enjoying a meal with friends and relatives, etc. The 35-hr working week led many people to adopt a more distanced attitude to work than in the UK, though of course the current gvmt scrapped that straight away.
And while many people pay attention to clothes and the way their house looks, I think there is less pressure to have the latest gadgets (satnav, blackberries, bread makers, to quote but a very random few) than in the UK. Kids want mobiles, i-pods, etc., but adults are perhaps under less pressure to acquire things.

But I could be wrong; I live in the provinces and I tend to frequent/be friends with people who are not v materialistic, whereas if you read the posts written by Anna8888/Bonsoir Anna (she recently name-changed), you get a glimpse into a whole other moneyed, Parisian lifestyle that seems very demanding, stressful and pressurised indeed.

There is quite a lot of opposition to gvmt plans to allow people, particularly in retail, to work on Sundays. And many shops, chemists, offices have a long (2hr or more) lunch break where they are closed to the public.
However, there is a clear assumption that people, including women, will work: childcare provision, in the form of rebates, is pretty good, but getting parental leave is less easy. You get 500 euros a month allowance for parental leave, which basically means that for most people it's not a viable option. And maternity leave isn't very flexible: it's 16 weeks, and then you have to negotiate very hard to obtain a reduced workload or any extra leave.

SpringySunshine Mon 02-Feb-09 12:53:22

I'm always suspicious of the idea of doing my own internal. I really don't think I'd have the faintest idea of what I was doing even with really clear instructions. What it must be to be The Boff wink I'm glad that there's no pattern. Do they feel like BH to you? I don't think I could tell the difference, but you've done this a few times before - I'm not sure if it's a stupid question!

BB, I hate the idea of putting young kids under exam pressure. I never took exams seriously (I was going to say 'when I was little', but... blush), but remember how worried everyone got about primary school SATS - & also how much a lot of people got pressurised into passing the 11+ with intensive tuition & promises of huge rewards if they got in, etc. It's so obviously wrong & far more detrimental to children than a working mother - my mum earns more than my dad does & I'm really proud of her. I remember her going through uni herself, starting when my sister was 11 weeks old, & it's mostly that that's inspired me to make a real go of having this baby & continuing with my studies without too much fear. I would probably have felt a lot less able to do both without her example.

& forget it. He's mine! Soooo mine. Although I may require Nutty to give him a bit of a haircut - it's a bit bouffanty for my tastes. But I'd even live in that trailer, damn it!

SpringySunshine Mon 02-Feb-09 12:55:01

Puzzle, I think you can drink the Lemsip sachets - where you mix the powder & hot water. I think the capsules are a bit dodgy, but I'm fairly sure the powder's okay.

KittyCatIsGettingFat Mon 02-Feb-09 12:56:40

Hi Springy! Would you believe me if I told you we met ONLINE??? he was an internet date that went oh-so-right instead of oh-so-wrong... it took quite a few goes to find a decent one though, I shudder when I think of some of the freaks I went for coffee with... gringringrin

SpringySunshine Mon 02-Feb-09 13:01:02

purplemonkey, I think in a lot of ways it can be harder to be a SAHM than a WOHM. I know that each role brings with it its own difficulties, but I have absolutely no feeling that SAHMs somehow have it easy. In fact I'm not sure that I could do it - I need my own space, & children are relentless. At least when you work out of the home you tend to get a lunchbreak or whatever. I think that each family has to decide what is right for them at each stage of their lives & there's no 'right' answer. If it were as simple as having a textbook to work from on how to raise a perfect family there wouldn't even be a MN wink

BabyBolat Mon 02-Feb-09 13:01:08

Purple, you are right - it's not about whether you are at home or not, that is a personal choice and whatever makes you happiest and is right for your family and you at the time but I hate it when these people get together and place blame on certain sections of society for the ills of the world, when no one thing is responsible for that! I know kids from SAHM and Working mums that are a nightmare and others that are great so it's a multitude of factors, what annoys me working in PR is that this will run and run and run as a story and people that aren't interested in looking beyond the headline of the Sun Newspaper will read that! It's even on loose women that you should be a 2-parent family and not row in front of children!

Boff Your own internal???!! How?

Springy, I am already moved in, I have a phobia of fish but I would let him bring in that trout!!!

OddEyes Mon 02-Feb-09 13:05:47

ds in bed, i am knitting and in bed and still it snows, 20cm in garden now. hot ribena and mumsnet - yay for snow days!

SpringySunshine Mon 02-Feb-09 13:06:10

Kitty, I'd probably believe you more than you'd think. Technically, DP & I met online too. But we were both part of an online community & first spoke on there (because he was going to live next door to Gary Barlow with his girlfriend of the time & I was so jealous wink), but we actually met properly at a mutual friend's summer BBQ. Although the mutual friend was an internet friend for both of us & I was there with my ex. DP says that he would've seriously tried it on if I hadn't been, but I guess we'll never know wink Most of our first year or so of friendship was conducted over MSN, though. & then we started seeing more of each other as friends, until we somehow accidentally slept together. I say accidentally; it's not like I fell on it, obviously, but I didn't really expect it at all! grin

& tomorrow morning we're going to give notice of our intention to marry. Exciting stuff grin

Now, tell us about those freaks wink

SpringySunshine Mon 02-Feb-09 13:13:59

<<slaps BB around a bit with that trout>> Get off him. I'm cramming into that tiny, tiny trailer shower with him like this (although perhaps not with this bump) & we're eventually going to live happily ever after in our house of candles.

& whilst I was looking for that, I found [[ this]] for Nutty.

conkertree Mon 02-Feb-09 13:17:10

ooh the snow is falling again here - wonder if I can cancel the panto rehearsal that I'm meant to be doing tonight, and snuggle up on the sofa with dh and ds instead?

and for my tuppenceworth - agree that its up to each family to choose what works for them, and that no one answer is right for everyone, but that children should feel like a valued part of a family however you choose to make that work. Think as others have said, its the way the article is written that causes the problem - making it all out to be the fault of women. but others have been much more eloquent than me about it so will leave it there.

think this lo must be a boy - it seems to know i hate having my tummy button touched and just sit and kick it for ages at a time.

KittyCatIsGettingFat Mon 02-Feb-09 13:33:13

Springy - sounds fantastic! I must say thast the dating scene in Cape Town leaves much to be desired... all the men are either gay or married, so there's not a great likelihood of meeting someone nice in a bar.
DH and I met after a week of skyping each other, were dating soon after that and within three months just KNEW that this was right... we were married 9 months after our first date!! Very quick, but we've been Mr & Mrs for almost 2 years now and are still on honeymoon... grin and happier than ever!

So good for you! Congrats on the notice - it's a hugely exciting time, but at least you know that if you need a posse of pregnant fanjo-warrior Bridesmaids you don't have far to come... grin

As for the freaks - I met the one for coffee on a Saturday MORNING and he was livid because I wouldn't go home and sleep with him right then! I mean really... blush

The other had a foot fetish - kept watching my toes in my sandals and paying no attention to my face at all... I suppose it makes a change from staring at the boobs all day... hmm

And finally there was one who was a screaming queen - but hadn't come out the closet yet - who, within five mins of meeting, was showing me the best way to pluck my eyebrows and swapping facial tips! (He has subsequently "discovered" his true side and is now a great friend...)

So a pretty interesting bunch then! Thank havens for DH so I don't have to go through all that again...

KittyCatIsGettingFat Mon 02-Feb-09 13:58:16

Boff - how are the contractions?

BabyBolat Mon 02-Feb-09 13:58:41

Springy that's fine you can have the bad sex in the bad shower that only happens because he is thinking about me - we will be together in the house of candles in the end and that's all that matters...

BoffinMum Mon 02-Feb-09 14:13:18

Hello again. Contractions have stopped and I have just driven into the village to get supplies for a siege in case we are snowed up, at the behest of DD. Gammon ham, Cornish Yarg cheese, special farmhouse Cheddar and Double Gloucester, home made pork pie for DH, proper butcher's mince and best sausages with herbs, olives, eggs, milk, etc etc. We live in quite a foodie village here. Let it now snow, I say!

SPD quite bad now but at least I didn't slip in the snow and make it worse. But I did only have to walk 5 metres.

Whoever it was thinking of taking Lemsip, I think is has a decongestant in there so I wouldn't. An old fashioned hot toddy with the smallest pg-size splash of single malt will have the same effect and do less harm IMO.

BoffinMum Mon 02-Feb-09 14:15:39

I wish I was in the shower with a hunky bloke (and able to stand, of course). I feel like a heifer today.

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