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Expat Mums : having a baby far from your home country...

(29 Posts)
MamanFlo Mon 21-Feb-05 09:31:57

Hello Mums !
I am french and having my first baby in London. Not a big deal but sometimes it is really useful to talk to other expat mums. That's why I start this thread. Anyone is welcome to join in...foreign mums in the UK, or british mums abroad, and of course any other if you wish to help our little souls...

I am 29, and 30 weeks pregnant. My little girl will be named Romane.

speak to you soon !

flo

Cooperoo Mon 21-Feb-05 12:26:11

Hello
I have just posted on your childbirth thread so thought I would say hi here too. I am English but due my second baby in Cyprus. My husband is in the armed forces and so normally we would have this baby at the military hospital here on the camp however.....the theatres are shut and so we are all having to deliver in Limassol. The hospital is quite different to what we are used to and do not offer gas and air or epidurals. The after care is VERY different too and seems a bit too much for us. I am 28 years old and 24 weeks pregnant at the moment and have had a lot of heartache over the way it seems I will now be delivering. I am coming to terms with it now though. My first birth was a lovely waterbirth using gas and air and I am worried about doing it again without either of these things.
Chat soon,
Clare

Hayls Mon 21-Feb-05 12:33:17

Just wanted to say that I live with my dh and 1yo dd nearly 400 miles away from both our families. Dd was born down here and being so far away from them all has honestly not been as bad as we were expecting. Mums and MILs can still give (lots of) advice over the phone...
REally just wanted to wish you luck and give you confidence that you'll cope with it fine. Hey, maternity leave s the perfet opportunity to do lots of visitng and be spoiled rotten
Good luck with everything

IPHII Mon 21-Feb-05 12:43:21

Hi,
i know the feeling. i'm expecting my 2nd baby in August here in london and i'm from Nigeria. i really miss my mum and wish she could be here with me. it's a totally different experience for me.

Kiwifruit Mon 21-Feb-05 20:57:14

Hi

I'm in London, and my family are in New Zealand (although DH's family are in the UK) - pretty hard to get much further away!! Also don't have any friends over here with babies to get advice from.

Things seem to be done quite differently here in terms of ante natal and post natal care, and it's taking me a bit to get the hang of it! Not to worry - am only 8.5 weeks, so have plenty of time to catch up!

expatinscotland Mon 21-Feb-05 21:04:21

Hello MamanFlo and all you expat mums,

I'm American, married to a Scotsman. Our daughter was born here in Edinburgh 20 months ago.

I never had any children in the US, so I don't know how ante-natal/post-natal care compares, but had a very positive experience here.

Kiwicath Tue 22-Feb-05 10:10:44

Hi all. I'm a kiwi but living in Egypt where I gave birth to our son who's now 14 months. I'm pregnant again but planning on moving back to NZ mid June. Have been away for 15 years so I'm going to seem like a tourist in my own country. Had a wonderful birth in Cairo (all private) and am a tad worried about having the next one in NZ. I really don't know the procedures and I hear they are a bit scaple happy in Christchurch. At least I'll have my family this time.

pinkmagic1 Tue 22-Feb-05 10:27:25

Kiwicath- I would be very interested to hear about your birth in Egypt and The standard of care you recieved.
My husband is origanally from Egypt but we have lived in the UK for the past 6 years and have a 8 month old son (born in the UK). We are considering re-locating to Egypt in the near future and also having a 2nd child but most western women I know living there have gone back to their countries to give birth.

Fodders Tue 22-Feb-05 14:15:11

Salut MamanFlo

I'm a brit and I had my first baby in France (Alpes-Maritimes) in 2003. My family and dp and I found it quite stressful being a long way from them during the pregnancy - particularly as EasyJet wouldn't let me fly after 6M! All turned out well and we now are quite proud of having had our first in a foreign language!

Things we found good were:
- Do ante-natal classes / reading in English and French - that we way had an idea of what might happen in our own language and the vocabulary for communicating during labour and childbirth and post-natal care.
- Find out now where you can meet other mums of the same nationality after the baby's arrived - that way you'll know where to go for companionship when the baby's worn you out! You'll probably feel too frazzled to do much research once the baby's here.
- Get family to book their visits in advance for after the baby's arrived - that way, even the grandparents who aren't around immediately after the birth know they're going to get to meet the baby when it's a few weeks old. This'll probably also help you to pace yourself in the first few weeks of being on your own with a newborn.

MamanFlo Wed 23-Feb-05 17:24:19

We are quite a few !
Hopefully, the froggies are a widespread species in London and I have no less than 3 french friends (and 1 greek friend) who gave birth in London over the last 12 months (have you heard about a baby boom ? because I think there is one at the moment !)
Family visits are causing me trouble at the moment : everyone wants to come ! And my DH said yes without consulting me...when I wanted to go to France and do the big tour....but if they want to spend their money on planes, so be it...

OzJo Thu 24-Feb-05 01:05:42

Hi everyone,
I'm English, now living in Australia, had Dd 23 months here( In Darwin, far north Oz), now 22 weeks pregnant with no 2 in Hobart, ( about as far south as you can get). Had a hideous birth last time round, it has to be better here. I've a few mates here now, some with offspring which is hand. Really miss some bits of my family ( ie mother and her partner) and frankly relieved to be far away from some of the others.
Better go as small child is stiring,
Jo

Boompi Thu 24-Feb-05 11:04:09

Hi
I am South African and married to an Englishman so living in London. Ive been her for over 6 years so it feels like home but now that I am pregnant I do wish my parents were closer. I grew up with one set of grandparents in Ireland who I hardly saw and dont want that to happen with my kids. So lots of long haul flights in our future! luckily mil and fil are great.

See another September girl - Hi KiwiCath!

Kiwicath Fri 25-Feb-05 07:49:59

Pinkmagic1. CAT me and I'll be more than happy to give you the low down on delivering in Egypt. By the way, had a fab time of the whole pregnancy and the care (private) was superb. Can give you names and contacts if you want XX.

eidsvold Sun 24-Apr-05 09:28:52

MamanFlo - in 2002 I had my dd1(first child) in the UK - I am an aussie and all my family were in Aus. It was difficult being so far away from family and dear friends when I had dd1. Made even mroe difficult as my dd1 was born with a heart defect and down syndrome. We did know about these in advance but those first few days/ weeks were difficult and scary. Having said that my inlaws are/were brilliant.

I have since returned home with dh and dd1 in tow - last June. Had dd2 in November.

We did the big tour with dd1 when she was 8 months old we took her to Australia to introduce her to her aussie family although we did not see my db and sil and niece. Finally saw them last year and I got to see my 2 nieces for the first time. It was wearying though traipsing around with a babe trying to catch upwith everyone. I would say if they want to come to you - let them - enjoy those first few months. It does take a while to get sorted and used to being three rather than two.

My UK in-laws were/are fab and I feel a little sad that they have not seen dd2 yet but they were talking about coming over soon although things are a little difficult for them at the moment.

I hope you don't mind me jumping in on the thread even though I am not pregnant.

ghosty Sun 24-Apr-05 10:16:23

Hi mamanflo ... congratulations on your pregnancy
I am British and live in New Zealand ...
I had my first child in the UK and my second here in NZ ... the antenatal and post natal care here in NZ is fab (don't worry kiwicath, you will be fine, I promise!)
It was very hard being pregnant so far away from my parents and knowing that they wouldn't see the baby ... But then they sprung a surprise on me and turned up on my doorstep the week before DD was due ... so my mum was here after all.
Sad thing is that they had to go home when DD was 2 weeks old and they have seen none of her baby days and by the time they see her again (we are coming to the UK for a 6 week visit in June) she will be a 16 month old toddler. DD is such a sweet baby and I feel very sad that my family have missed out on her early days and also that my family have not seen how brilliantly I have coped with my second child (I was a very anxious first time mother when DS was a baby) ...
I can't wait to see them in June ....

meripng Wed 17-Sep-08 13:18:33

I am australian and planning to move to London with husband and 2 young boys 4yr & 2yr. We are also planning our third pregnancy while we are in London. What I'm concerned about is, I've had ceasearean births with my 2boys as they were very big babys and my Dr advises that the 3rd baby will need to be deliverd by c-section again. how easy is it arrange for an elective c-section?

skiingone Wed 17-Sep-08 16:54:52

Hello girls!
I'm glad to see that there are a few of us!
I just moved to London after living for 10 years in Sydney for my DH's job, I was going to look for a job but discovered that I'm first time pregnant... ( not planned). None of our close friends/family members are here.
DH is Australian, I'm from Moscow originally, so as a new arrival don't know many people here and am a bit worried that I'll be feeling alone and isolated especially when the baby arrives. I hope that we all have easy pregnancies and deliveries in our new countries of residence!

BrightSideOfLife Thu 18-Sep-08 14:40:50

Hi all,

<<wave to Skiingone>>

My DH and I are South African, living in London. I am 8 weeks pregnant with our first - Boompi , reading your post was like reading something I had written! I grew up without my extended family nearby and now feel incredibly guilty that I am doing the same to my own child. DH and I have been here for 7 years so are very settled but really missing our family being able to share in the pregnancy and (eventually) the baby.

I hope you are all having a good day - where-ever you are in the world smile

BrightSideOfLife Thu 18-Sep-08 14:42:06

ooohhh...have just seen that this thread was revived from an old 2005 one!! skiingone I think the other babies above might have already graduated high school grin

skiingone Thu 18-Sep-08 15:49:03

Yep, I noticed that once I posted, oh well, I'm sure there are plenty of expats with babies on the way left!

hoff Thu 18-Sep-08 16:03:19

Hi, I'm English having my first baby in a few weeks in Spain. It's been a pretty confusing time, and there's always a surprise around the corner. They're not great at keeping you in the loop or letting you know the options, they don't really like the mother getting much of a say about anything really but I'm fighting my corner best I can! It takes lots of research and I have been v. lucky to have lots of pregnant friends both English and Spanish to compare notes with. Good luck everyone in getting the birth you want!

huxflux Thu 18-Sep-08 16:42:35

Hi! Swedish living in England. I'm lucky to be so "close" to my family but it's still confusing to be away from home. I'm 19 weeks pregnant and have just realised one issue with being so far away - I get pregnancy cravings for things that I cannot get in the UK

mumoverseas Fri 19-Sep-08 07:18:10

I'm british living in Saudi Arabia and 17 weeks pregnant with my 4th (i know, mad woman!) 1st two born in UK but number 3 born here 2 years ago and planning on having this one here too. standard of care was fantastic (except DD was born half way through ramadam - the islamic month of fasting) which meant crazy hospital hours for appointments and ages to get birth certificate) other than that, was fabulous and the dr who did my c-section was wonderful and let my DH be present which is not the done thing in saudi.
Meripng, don't worry about having an elective c section, I had one with DC2 and was very easy to organise (I had back problems) and as you've already had two C-sections it should be obvious you need another. Don't worry and good luck

BrightSideOfLife Fri 19-Sep-08 11:21:37

Hi everyone - congrats & welcome!

huxflux I know exactly what you mean about cravings for food from home. We have spent a fortune at our local South African shop on some basics that I simply _had_ to have RIGHT NOW.

It is going to be an expensive pregnancy in more way than one grin

nubiana Fri 29-May-09 11:20:00

hi everyone congrats on your pregnancies.
i'm french and been living in london for 3 years. i'm currently 13weeks pregnant and i'm quite worreidhaving my first baby in london. had a MC in january and the staff in the hiospital ui had my last scan was horrible. my sister had her daughter at St Thomas and was quite happy but hated her midwife !! lol
my family is not far but i miss the service in french hospital. my mum had my 3 brothers in the same hospital and never complain about anything !
which hospital would you recommend to have my baby?
i'm quite worried to be neglected and not look after properly and can't afford a private clinic...
any ideas ?
thanks

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