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RM OCTOBER 2014 thread - Today we are pregnant

(1000 Posts)
TinyTear Thu 30-Jan-14 11:09:26

This is a thread for people due in October with past miscarriage issues, so we don't scare the 'regular' October people and we don't annoy the RM thread with our pregnancy talk...

TinyTear MC May 2010, MC June 2010, MC November 2010, DD Jan 2012, MC October 2013 ADD 6th October

squizita Fri 31-Jan-14 15:43:28

Need to read THIS every day like a mantra LOL.

nearlyreadytopop Fri 31-Jan-14 16:09:41

squiz I really should have added that all my friends who never have mc had morning sickness that comes and goes.
I think normally it is a good thing as it means pregnancy hormones are increasingly (dramatically). Some people are more sensitive to these changes than others.

I am trying very hard to resign myself to whatever happens happens. I feel I have given this pregnancy my best shot. And every nurse, doctor, midwife has said I'm not doing any good by worrying myself silly. One actually had quite an in depth discussion on stress hormones and how this are bad for pregnancy.

I think we all need to sit back with a cup of something warm, a few ginger nut biscuits (for the sickness of course) and get our dh's to rub our feetgrin

squizita Fri 31-Jan-14 16:28:57

Nearly ah see that's what I get hung up on though - I assume that in order to show hormones I need it 24-7 or getting worse (rubbish: not everyone ends up on a drip thank goodness). Nonsense of course! That's why POAS varies with what you've eaten/drunk. Also and I must remember this many women in my family hardly have it... my mum was pregnant 10 weeks with twins before she realised, no shortage of hormones there. So more than likely it's a family trait. Thanks so much for talking down the insanity guys!! smile

With regards to stress damaging pregnancy, I have also (obviously) spoken in great depth with consultants, midwives, gynies etc' and read up on it. All absolutely categorically told me my anxiety would not (unless it affected eating/sleep etc') affect future pregnancies one jot. In a weird way it was very comforting indeed to hear that!

I have to get on my soap box here and say some medical professionals (often the inexperienced overworked gynie who says the wrong thing when they can't find a HB late shift at the EPU) create a vicious cycle by making women scared and ashamed of being stressed after MC. Research shows it can be like mild PTSD - nothing that the self-help printouts the NHS might give us could change ... and often it gets women in a cycle of stress-then-stress-that-stress-will-damage-baby. Lesley Regan and Jon Cohen both write about how frantic knicker-checking, depression and stress don't in themselves affect outcome: rather being supported by a Dr saying "this craziness is normal, don't worry, your chances are good" is what makes all the difference.
One thing I've found with St Mary's is they are excellent about that. The way they can be blase and blunt "No that's not a risk but we know you'll worry...", the moment Mr Rai told me "Expensive vitamins are not better than cheap ones, but I'd advise you to keep taking the expensive ones because they make you feel better and it won't hurt" was great.

nearlyreadytopop Fri 31-Jan-14 17:03:28

squiz that is so true. The only person who has really recognised the stress of a positive preg test has been myk counsellor.
I have read that extra reasurrance scans and support can improve outcomes but the mechanism by which this happens is not known. I wish someone would focus some research on this area.

I noticed on another thread someone had suggested a 'mindful pregnancy' book from amazon, Im going to check it out and will report back.

squizita Fri 31-Jan-14 18:51:55

Nearly that sounds a great read! DH is reassuring me by buying me junkfood. No objection here. smile

Millysdream Fri 31-Jan-14 21:51:40

Can I join?- EDD 6th sept.
3 miscarriages all between before 7 1/2 weeks.
Had scan on Monday and was 8 weeks 2 days, my longest time yet. No kids but one cute puppy ( bought as hubby as baby substitute- I think lol).
In a panic today. Boobs not quite as sore as other days and appetite is improving. It is going to be a long wait till my next scan(2 weeks today). I feel like I trying to push any thoughts of having a baby to the back of my mind. I really don't feel like I will have a baby. I wish I could relax a bit more. I am just floating through the days- counting down till next scan. In some sort of daze. Is this normal after 3 losses? X

JBrd Sat 01-Feb-14 08:17:25

Welcome Milly! Totally normal, I'd say. I'm currently taking one day at a time, trying not to think what will or could be because it's too harrowing. I am envious of everyone who never has had a mc and can really enjoy their pregnancy hmm

SweetPeaPods Sat 01-Feb-14 08:41:46

Milly with ds they scanned me every week from 6-12 weeks to put me at ease but it didn't really. I would still be really nervous each week.
My gp is a pain, they insist you see them before they refer you to me but they don't actually have any appts till march!!

squizita Sat 01-Feb-14 09:14:34

Hi Milly - yes completely normal. It's a worrying time but the facts say most pregnancies even after 3 are fine (which I know, as I'm in the same boat as you, you can have said to you and forget in an instant!).

TaytoCrisp Sat 01-Feb-14 09:45:20

Welcome milly. And congratulations! That's great news.

Like you in my last pregnancy I really pushed thoughts of a baby to the back of my mind... It worked ok, but I was still devastated when the pregnancy didn't work out. So this time (on advice from a friend) I am going to be a lot more positive and hopeful. That way I can just have more positive experiences (in between the anxiety!). And in the end, if a loss occurs it will be as upsetting irrespective of whether i focus on the little growing baby or not. So my current strategy (and maybe it is risky...) is to be very hopeful about this pregnancy and to remain focused on the present and the fact that i am pregnant least I'm getting a by excited about it in a good way. We shall see...

Very best wishes to everyone these weeks. I have a 6 wk scan on tuesday ( so early!!!). if all goes well I will start the heparin injections (which I will moan about even though I know I shouldn't!!).

Millysdream Sat 01-Feb-14 09:59:48

Thanks so much for your replies. I am not sure it will ever get easier having a scan. I shut my eyes( for what feels like hours) until they say anything. I just don't feel pregnant at all. Every time I see the baby in the scan it doesn't feel like it's inside me. Am taking aspirin for this pregnancy but didn't get chance to have many tests done as got caught pregnant again. Just do worried that I won't cope if I miscarry again. The longer I am pregnant the more I invest in the baby.

So nice we have a thread for us as we all must have concerns and worries. Let's hope 2014 is our year xx

SpanielFace Sat 01-Feb-14 11:27:31

Hi, can I join in? Due date 7th October, slightly gobsmacked as only had unprotected sex twice - we decided to start trying this month then stopped as DH has been put as risk of redundancy. Wasn't expecting a BFP! I'm a bit anxious about money but i think we'll be ok. I have one

SpanielFace Sat 01-Feb-14 11:28:24

Sorry pressed send too soon! I have one DS who is 17 months. No symptoms yet other than very sore boobs!

squizita Sat 01-Feb-14 12:23:47

Hi Milly and Spaniel! smile

Just had a very reassuring chat with my ma, who categorically told me she has "never ever" been sick in pregnancy and she thinks it's a family trait. She mentioned feeling 'queasy' mornings and afternoons, same as me.

Having a pretty good day - slightly queasy but not 'laid up', so "today I am pregnant" but not debilitated phew.

SpanielFace Sat 01-Feb-14 13:13:50

My morning sickness didn't hit until about 8 weeks last time. My tea tasted funny this morning though, which happened last time - I went totally off any caffeinated drinks for the duration, obviously no bad thing as it's not a good thing for the baby.

So sorry for all of you who have had miscarriages. Having never had one, in my head pregnancy = baby, even though I know very well that that's not always the case. I need to try to remember it - I keep finding myself getting excited about gender, names etc already. I need to remember that I'm only 4.5 weeks and a lot could still go wrong.

SpanielFace Sat 01-Feb-14 13:42:56

Oh god I am so sorry - I just realised that this is a thread for people who have had miscarriages. I didn't read it properly. Didn't mean to be so insensitive. I really wish you all loads of luck with your pregnancies. I'll go & find the other October thread. blush

juniorcakeoff Sat 01-Feb-14 14:09:35

I'm going to be brave. Approx 6 weeks gone. On heparin and aspirin and 9 billion mcg folic acid. Two live births, one 2nd tri PProm & partial abruption following which baby didn't make it.

Love today I am pregnant. Am going to try and avoid any scanning before 9 weeks as I think there is a degree of certainty with a negative scan result at 9 weeks and no false hope?

Have various symptoms which irritatingly come and go. All my pregnancies have been different as to the degree of sickness so no use there. Have stopped testing and comparing the line colours as it was costing a fortune and no use to anybody grin

Happy to have found other people with similar issues but sorry for all your losses.

nearlyreadytopop Sat 01-Feb-14 14:10:50

squiz my mum had 5 children and remembers being sick once or twice with my sister envy

Tumtimes1 Sat 01-Feb-14 15:19:17

Hey all, glad I found you from the other thread.

So i have had x3 mc's all before 7 weeks but one discovered at 9wks as mmc. We have no children (so far).
Had tests for thrombolias and NK cells.
EDD for this pregnancy is 16th September and I am on steroids, heparin, aspirin, high dose folic acid and vits.

I have so far been for 3 scans - the last one was yesterday. Heartbeat was there and healthy but it didn't look like baby had grown much in 3 days. however this scan was done at a differ hospital and the doc said dates were measuring normal.

However have woken up is morning with no breast pain ( has slightly returned this PM) but still have nausea off and on.

I am afraid im BESIDE myself with worry, my rational head tells me I saw a healthy hb yesterday so chances are could be ok, but I am so worried. I even had the doc call me back at home and reassure me again.

But still today, I have been in tears wondering how I will cope to go through this all again, how I would muster up the strength to get pregnant again.
I spoke to my sister and she was very rational and helped a lot. I so wish it was simple for all of us. I hate weekends like this (always on the weekend)
Anyway has anyone else had sore boobs that have just disappeared over night? As I say, they have slightly come back this afternoon but not as strong as before.

squizita Sat 01-Feb-14 15:39:40

TumTimes I've had significant worry over symptoms. MS and tender boobs do vary wildly day-to-day in many women. They ABSOLUTELY do come-and-go. which terrifies me all the time I know this because lots of women and indeed docs have told me and it happens to me.
As for the HB and scan 3 days apart - the growth in 3 days at such an early stage would be tiny to see even on a transvaginal scan especially with different equipment in different hospitals. Was there a medical reason for the scans being close together? St Mary's are only scanning me every 2 weeks even as a high anxiety case, as I guess it's hard to see development otherwise and could cause more worry. The HB is the main thing.

Junior Hi! On the topic of scans - You may need to negotiate with your consultant if you don't want a scan before 9 weeks and are injecting clexane. St Mary's were keen to check that I wasn't injecting for months masking a problem (as Clexane is unpleasant and bruises/has some risks) so I was scanned at 6 weeks and will again next week at 8.4. They were realistic at 6 weeks but seeing the HB meant I was good to continue Clexane (which for me had to be started at 4 weeks).

juniorcakeoff Sat 01-Feb-14 16:08:10

Tumtimes I had a scan in the 2nd tri in one of my successful pregnancies which seemed to show no growth in 2 weeks. It was terribly scary but the sonographer was fairly relaxed about it. As squizita says the margins of error at this stage are huge. Also babies do not grow in length on a smooth upward trajectory - they grow loads one week and then spend the next week developing ears etc. It's bloody annoying for you though.

Hi squizita I did have a scan on clexane at 6 weeks with the last one, but that was because I self-referred directly at the hospital at about 4+3 so they were really on the ball. This time I have moved so obtained my drugs through GP in a different area, so though I have been referred to hosp I might have another couple of weeks grace before they turn me into a stress head??! I thought the purpose of early scan on clexane was mostly to exclude ectopic/dangers of heavy bleed etc. rather than clexane being able to mask problems?

squizita Sat 01-Feb-14 20:32:20

St Mary's weren't keen on my injecting clexane with anything like a blighted ovum - although I was given it from BFP, they wanted to see it was 'viable' ASAP. It might well be specifically their policy: they follow up on all their patients until at least week 12 I believe.

TinyTear Sat 01-Feb-14 20:51:53

I was scanned in St Marys at 6, 8 and 10 weeks last time. I wish I had that now...

Welcome to the newcomers. Can someone at a computer update the list? I am on my phone

Millysdream Sat 01-Feb-14 21:03:12

I was scanned at 7 weeks, 8w4d, next will be 10w5d then (fingers crossed all ok) will have one at 12 weeks they said.
Nervous already about next scan. Had a cry today as I am terrified. Like having scans as they reassure me but prob only for a day then am back on countdown. Least the countdown isn't too long though. At my last scan, loads of people were buying the photos and I remember thinking- I would just love to get to that stage. Trying to take small steps at a time or would go even more crazy than I am already x

Millysdream Sat 01-Feb-14 21:05:55

I meant 8w2d for second scan

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