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March 2014 - Thread 4 - awaiting our dating scans(1000 Posts)
Sorry Pram doesn't sound like he's up for much changing.
Hope you managed to get some rest.
MESSAGED ADDED IN BY MNHQ - BECAUSE WE IS FEELING NIACE TODAY New thread here
Thanks slippers for the use of your message space
My name is lumpylumps and I'm addicted to mumsnet. It costs me nothing, looses me nothing and harms the people I love in no way whatsoever. Hardly a fair comparison to gambling is it. He sounds like a complete twat. Sorry pram
Whoever had the doppla, put it on your heart. Babies should sound like that, but faster. Like a horse galloping, not a river swooshing. That'll be you.
Pram well done you for staying so strong in such a horrible situation x
Will be thinking of you today grey rock and frank
Ladies, thank you for your considered replies and suggestions. Ice, I'm about to go on a lovely bus ride to the benefits office, if that counts Apprentice, you've hit the nail on the head with this 'minimising' malarkey and I'm simply not having it. I kept repeating to him: 'what you have done is massive', 'it is a protracted and nasty deceit'; 'you have not dealt with your demons' etc, etc. He has a real need to defend himself against the horror of what he's done, I think.
My thoughts are with you Rockchick, Moosy & Frank.
Frank, please take time to relax, your brain must be hurting, poor love.
Morning all. Just procrastinating whilst getting ready for work . pram , sorry to hear crisis talks didn't go well. And don't worry about bringing it to thread it's entirely relevant . Could it b he's either so ashamed and therefore defensive/minimising (oh does this sometimes) or genuinely stuck in denial. Either way space and time sounds good . Sorry I know everyone's offering you advice, so I'll leave it at that. (no expert but work in mental health).Would also like to know if there's a 12 step program for mumsnet addiction ! Good luck to today's scanees and catch up after work x
12 + 3 and still puking!! Thought it was supposed to stop now?! Just for variety I've thrown up in the middle of breakfast today rather than beforehand, but still...
Pram, I'm really sorry to hear that.
Congrats hot how lovely that you will get an extra scan too!
Good luck rock chick and Frankel.
pram I have no idea what to say to you, I can't believe he didn't admit he had a problem straight away. I think he needs to go at least temporarily, you can't be having all this stress and upset while you are pregnant. It sounds like he is in total denial. I'm so sorry.
Pram I'm so sorry that you are still having such a shitty time. Have you thought about laying down an ultimatum - ie "If you are genuinely sorry and remorseful and dedicated to making ths work. You need to phone Gamblers Anonymous right now and find out where the nearest session is." Then you hand him their phone number and watch him make the call.
Sorry I'm not on much at the moment, I'm on a work placement as part of my degree course and it is knackering me. I'm only working 5.5 hours a day (8-12 then 4-5.30) but it is physical work and I'm finding myself taking at least an hours nap in my "off-time" and am inevitably in bed by 9pm!
Scan at 3pm this afternoon, so we'll see what they say I am. I think I'm 12+2 but my early scan put me 2 days behind, so who knows what they'll say today!
Oh Pram I'm so sorry to hear all this. How so things look in the cold light of day?
Good luck today Grey and Rock!
Brilliant scan news yesterday ladies, caught up on Facebook, but not here!! Has the news sunk in yet?!
My god, pram, you must be worn out! What a horrible heap of crap you have to deal with right now. If I were you, today, I think I'd want some time on my own. Out of the house. A walk in the hills, a swim, a long journey, something like that. Have a good old think.
Best of luck grey and rock, exciting day for you!
Lyra, he said it after I had said: '...and if you're even thinking of not paying my dad back for the IVF you will never see this baby' I'm not proud of that but he had shown no emotion or sadness all evening and I was spitting venom.
It's interesting that he came to see me just now to say goodnight and said that, if he is to believe that he is 'bad' through-and-through, he will not be able to carry on. He said he needs to believe, with confidence, that he is a decent man who has 'done some bad things'. I said I didn't give a flying fuck how he processes his existential philosophies, I simply want reassurances that this shit will never feature in my life ever again - something I do not believe he can provide.
Oh Pram, he's going to have to try a lot harder than this to mend his ways if he has any hope of being with you. I can't believe he thought turning up to talks with no plan of action and denials about his addiction would wash with you. And so what if his clients think he's a great guy. You know him slightly better than they do. His comment about the IVF money was mean and stupid. Do you think he meant it?
Darling Rockchick, you are going to be so happy at 4pm tomorrow. Can't wait to hear all about it xx
Ugh. Sorry for the self-absorption. I have read all your posts and am really chuffed about the scans, excited parents and cuddly sons. You are all lovely
Ugh. What a fucking ghastly evening. The bastard brought nothing to the table. Can you believe it? Absolutely nothing. He claimed he was remorseful but I didn't sense it. I shivered a couple of times when I looked him straight in the eye because I didn't see anyone or anything I recognised. It was so very weird. In a nutshell: he does not believe he is an addict: 'more of a binge-gambler'. His bank statements show otherwise. Another pleasant quote (when talks had descended into ire: 'You know, Pram, so I've frittered a bit too much at the bookies occasionally [£more than £250 every month for a year]..it's not like I've murdered someone'. And this one: 'I don't particularly enjoy having a partner who's addicted to mumsnet.'
I'm ashamed to say I spat in his face when he declared that he will only be repaying my father half of the IVF loan: 'it's your responsibility to pay the other half. It's half your baby'. I screamed at him, cried and walked away. he came to me immediately and revoked everything he said, apologising. I told him to get the fuck out of my house. I told him I didn't want to be responsible for micro-managing his life and his fuck-ups and that I do not see happiness and trust in a future with him. he told me that, 'just because I have done something despicable doesn't mean I am a bad person. I speak to over a hundred people every day [his clients] who will tell you what a great and decent person I am. I told him to go into work tomorrow, tell all his clients what he has done to me and this baby and then see if the fuckwits still think the sun shines out of his arse.
Since The Talk he has appeared twice from the spare room to tell me we do have a future, that he will go to counselling and that he is categorically not a cunt. I told him to fuck off and find some humility and a backbone. His arrogance is astonishing and I find the idea of getting back with this twat utterly absurd.
My scan tomorrow at 4pm, DH has taken the day off coz I'm stressing about it. Think I may have heard a teeny tiny fluttery heartbeat tonight on my Doppler though, (although could have been blood flow or something) but feeling a little bit better about it all
Good news, Hot. Glad your parents are so excited
Just back from dinner. I had linguine with seafood. Delish. I also posted my scan pic on RL FB. Got lots of "wow"s
DP is so excited about the baby. He keeps kissing the scan pic. I cant post it on here but it's on the FB group if anyone hasn't seen it. You can see my baby's brain inside his huge head
Fantastic Hot glad it went well, and what a lovely way to tell the family!!
Evening all, what a busy day! Scan went well. I was measuring at 10+6 so 6 days behind where I thought I was.
Good news is that it was too soon to do the screening tests, so I've to go back in 2 weeks scan for another scan
We went and told DP's parents first, they were really pleased
We drove through for dinner with my mum and dad in the afternoon. We got out a boardgame to play and I put the scan picture inside the box and handed it to her to open. She looked at it for a second and then was like, ''oh look, that's you HotCrossPun'' I said ''is it??'' and she looked totally confused and then started jumping up and down and shouting ''no, it's your baby, whoohoo''
My dad also cuddled DP so hard he nearly broke his neck, so I think they were pleased!
Flippit. Must remember to charge laptop, obviously too clumsy to use phone.
Pulling. There's so much changing down there. Obviously if you're worried, call your midwife but it sounds like the sort of thing I had.
Sarah Sorry about the pot noodle thing but they don't half hit the spot!
Fear not, I haven't even had a letter with a date for my booking in appointment yet! At this rate there'll see me when I've had the baby!
Yes I have had what you're talking about - not so much in this pregnancy but I remember it. It could be all your ligaments stretching or your uterus
Has anyone else had pains by pubic bone when they sneeze? Iv just sneezed and had really bad pain shoot across from one side to the other. Never had it before and quite worried now
apprentice I'm up tomorrow and someone else on the Facebook but cant find their mn name on the names list and don't want to get it wrong! anyone else?
so good to see some good news, and i echo those sentiments prammy good luck! xxxx
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