October 2013 - Who is the least prepared?(1000 Posts)
just made it in time for last post on old thread... i hope
roxvox I would only change ds in the night if he had poo'd, this was rare even when he was newborn and pooing all the time. Think I was lucky with him though as he wasn't sick ever either. This next baby will probably puke and poo all night just so I get my fair share of clothes changes in the middle of the night!
jelly swap the t and the f around!
Mine is just a nickname DH calls me. I think he thought it was meant to be umlaut, the german two dots above vowels, so maybe its connected to be being quite languagey? Or maybe because UM sounds like EM (as in the first syllable of my actual name.. .maybe he is just a total weirdo!
Mon sorry to hear about the grief youre getting for not doing housework. FWIW you sound like a bloody saint doing as much as you are doing with 4 kids as well. I wouldnt put up with it and would nip it in the bud early on, but I am very lazy and its my size of the room which is the tip, DH is always cleaning up after me. I feel guilty about it but I don't even notice the mess apart from once a month when I have a major cleaning frenzy. He has mentioned it to me a few times and I really need to work on chaning. I think you are doing a good thing in communicating to him (via the ring scenario) how it makes you feel, he needs to not only understand his actions (and its great that he does and is admitting it) but also make changes. (I really need to take my own advice for poor DHs sake). Can he get you a cleaner? I'm lobbying for a cleaner next year, just to give me some time to breathe! I know they are pricey but if he feels that strongly about it, and its for HIS peace of mind he might be more open to budgeting for one?
roxvox I wouldn avoid sleeping totally seperately (not that I have any experience of babies!) but still have a room to go to? I'm so worried abotu losing intimacy with DH and sleeping together is so lovely! We haven't DTD at all since week 12 or something, and I hated that as I kept thinking it was going to poke baby in the eye, or act as a sweep. We aren't usually rampant shaggers but I do want to keep him close physically, we are big cuddlers. I think I'm going to get the IKEA Hemnes daybed instead of having a sofa, so he or I can use it as a getaway bed if we have to. Not really on a colleague of his dictating your living arrangements without your sayso. Don't worry about being a weepy preggo wife, we ARE preggo wives! Just remember, he did this to you!!! (My default whinge line!!)
tucking your neighbour sounds such a handful. I bet she lies in wait for the poor dog just to have something to complain about. Urgh what if she tries complaining about the baby crying? Grrr. We have a troublesome neighbour, he is new and Italian and old and he has loud, sweary conversations every night on the phone with windows open, and plays the same Mozart piece on repeat, top volume, ALL HOURS of the sday. I think hes a bit deaf. There is a gorgeous toddler that lives below him, and at 10pm last night I could hear the toddler repeating "cazzo cazzo" and giggling because he could hear the man shouting it (it means fuck, fuck!) The toddlers parents had no idea becase they are Spanish and odon'0t speak Italian. I do so have the pleasure of understanding his unpleasant rants. Urgh!
I have GREAT NEWS! With less than 15 hours to go until the massive deadline which would have lost us 1k, our rental deposit finally transferred from the UK and we SIGNED THE CONTRACT! I even have the keys already. My baby isnt going to be homeless!!!! I am so relieved!
(Next problem - how to furnish an unfurnished flat with less than 500!)
Umlauf The cleaner idea wouldn't work because the problem isn't that I'm not cleaning just that I'm not prepared to vaccum 4 times a day to make sure that the floors are completely dust free all day long.
Good news about the flat. Looks like it's time to trawl second hand furniture stores.
Can't really add anything more to what's been said already, MoN but if it is OCD, he would benefit from help, whether therapeutic like CBT or medical, or both (have a friend with severe OCD - poor girl ended up suicidal and housebound at one point it was so bad).
About to attempt to go to an aquanatal class for the nth time - maybe I'll actually make it into a pool this time!
As for forum name, mine comes from a nickname the rowers gave me many years ago (I used to cox competitively). They called me Frodo, meaning the little one with all the power (FYI there is nothing like beasting eight super-fit giant men til they break, ladies ) and because DH and I are both small, we just became known as the hobbits. Frodo was already taken on MN, so this was the compromise.
That's useful to know - thanks shooting! Perhaps the occasional middle of the night wander downstairs won't be too bad then. I just wasn't sure if it was going to be 4 times a night or something (as you can tell I have no idea when it comes to babies!)
Umlauf your relationship with your DH sounds very much like mine and my DH's. Right down to not DTD for months (neither of us can get our minds around the idea of having a baby in between us), or the not being rampant shaggers previously, and also we too cuddle a lot and are very affectionate towards one another. We would be looking to sleep in our main bed together the majority of the time; the idea behind keeping the double bed in the nursery is exactly as you say - so it is there if we need it. DH doesn't want to replace it with a smaller bed because of the money, but having a flipping double bed in the room means that I cannot turn it into a nursery because the double bed takes up two thirds of the room. We have another spare bedroom (in which the double bed takes up 9/10ths of the room), which I have said to DH we can squeeze a small crib down the side of the bed and I can use that room if necessary, but he isn't happy about the idea of taking over every room with baby stuff.
In fairness I think the colleague who said it doesn't know a) that we have another spare bed in the house, or b) that the double bed takes up so much room in the nursery that I wouldn't be able to do everything else in there that I have mentally planned.
DH seems convinced that the only thing left to buy is nappies. I am yet to show him the list that I have been putting together.
The other thing I have no control over and is getting me down is cars. I need to get a new car; my car is not suitable for the car seat we have bought (nb we bought the car seat knowing that I would be changing my car soon; we aren't buying a new car just so we can use the car seat!) We have plans for most of the weekends in the run up to the birth (I think we have 2 free weekends left), so I just cannot see how we are going to get it sorted in time!
Sorry, I am well aware that I am being a moody bugger today when I should be happy because I can feel a little baby kicking away in my tummy! I put it down to hormones, and the need to have a quick rant (apologies that you all have to read it though!)
Umlauf I am so pleased that you managed to get it all together for your flat! That must've been such a worry.
MoN - good for you, it'll be far easier to put your foot down now than when the baby arrives and you're even more knackered. He's not treating you well at all when he does this. Maybe this will be the shock he needs to make him see a doctor/counsellor and get some help to manage it. I hope he comes home with a massive apology tonight.
BTW, I'm impressed you managed to mop the floors at all with four kids to look after at 6/7 months pregnant! I haven't done mine in ages...
claphammama I don't mind, I can laugh at it today it was just ridiculous yesterday!
Umlauf - whoohoo!! Wonderful news :-D It'll be lovely to get away from your crazy neighbour too!
tuckingfits - it's easy to say but screw your crazy neighbour, she's clearly just whining and making things up to complain about. How about channelling some of the hormones into pregnancy rage and terrifying her? Or at least daydreaming about it
My name came about because our house always seem to have random bits of glitter in places (ok, so it's probably because I don't dust very well after glittery greetings cards, but hey, I'll keep pretending it's magic glitter) so I was joking that our baby would be constantly sparkly and we should call him/her Lee/Leigh, short for Sparkleigh.. Then I needed a name to join mumsnet and decided to use that...
Oh, and as for forum name. I used to be obsessed with various bands and I remember Vox amplifiers doing posters with many of my favourite bands at the time that read 'BandName rox with Vox' ... At the time I was looking for an obscure password to prevent my siblings from being able to login to my email account so I used roxvox for a couple of years. When I came to create an account on here I did not want anyone in RL to internet stalk and find me and find out I was pregnant before we had told anyone, so I thought I would use roxvox
Firstly my siblings, and then the idea that someone might try to internet stalk me makes me sound either very untrusting, or ridiculously self-important! I know my sister used to read my emails though, so that's why I did that, and I was so nervous that someone might find out I was pregnant before we wanted them to know; so I promise it is not due to self-importance!
I'm sorely tempted to spend the day in the garden and do absolutely nothing to help him see more clearly exactly what I do to day to day.
yey on the deposit going through umlauf what a relief for you! very exciting.
ooh MoN the rebellious part of me says do it! although I am completely awful at confrontation so probably wouldnt. Would be good for him to realise though.
Thankyou for asking about tuckingfits nickname jelly was sat here trying to work it out
Mine is very very boring in that I like to sew and have an obsession with pink buttons. to the point I have 2 tupperwares full of pink buttons Glad to see other people have better imaginations than me though.
I've just rather childishly updated my facebook status with my plans for today. Sitting in the garden and doing absolutely nothing in the house. I will still do the housework but I'll enjoy the thought of him reading the status at work and sweating about what state he'll find the house in when he gets back.
My name comes from my DS's favourite toy, a Jellykat badger. I have 3 in case they get lost but he knows which is the original; the rest are all imposters!
Yes it was a bad idea mon sorry I think I was projecting what I want to do about cleaning in our flat onto you guys, but clearly your dps problem isn't the cleanliness rather than the OCD and him expecting too much of you. Its a really tough one, I'm sorry you're in this situation.
shirehobbit I love your name story, you and roxvox sound so cool!!
haha MoN perfect!!
pseudo my DS has a jellycat dog which he cant be without we have 3 too incase of emergencies. hes found dog number 2 this morning and is delighted by having 2. simple things
Wow - so much to catch up this morning!
I love the nickname conversation - often wondered where all yours come from! Mine is obviously very mysterious... I live in Clapham and I'm a mama... a shocker! Sorry it's so boring. I will try to make up for it in inappropriate posts and comments :-) feministintraining i've always loved your nickname I'm quite similar - feminist when it suits me but mainly not. tucking I don't get your nickname either... can someone explain please? Is it some idiom and something to do with me not being English?
warlin if it makes you feel any better, we spend the same as you... I buy almost everything organic and love avocados, mangos, cherries... and all the stuff that adds up very quickly... I think I would find it easier to cut down on everything else but would struggle with food.
MoN hope you are feeling better today. X You mentioned he got worse recently since he started working with mentally ill people? Do you think he is finding it hard and this is his way of dealing with it? And it's making his OCD worse? I know that my DP reacts to stress in the strangest ways... I talk about problems if I'm stressed and he gets moody and obsessive over silly things.
Today was my turn to be emotional and stressed. After 4 nights with 4-5 hours sleep (can't blame DS, I just can't sleep for some reason...) I feel so tired and sleep deprived... and today had to walk DS to school (it makes my total morning commute 1.5 hour long and the walk to the station is up the hill), I will also have to pick him up (so another 1.5hr this afternoon), then cook dinner as DP is busy at work and comes back a bit later these days... But before I cook, I will have to empty the dishwasher and clean the kitchen after last night as it was beyond DP to do it or to even wipe the worktop by the look of it... so tears and shouting this morning. I know I'm probably overacting a bit as he is really good and does a lot but this morning it was all a bit too much.
We were trying to figure out my maternity leave last night as I don't think I can last until 27th September here... so I think I will be finishing on 13th September now, at 35 weeks. Feels a bit more manageable although DP will be going to Asia for a week in first week of September when DS starts school.
flyer sounds blissful :-) enjoy x
umlauf cazzo means cock, not fuck in Italian. A great great word when you are really pissed off I must say...
Just back from my GTT.
Well done on the new house Umlauf
MoN that must be so hard. I am very lucky with my dh...... his mother was/is awful with house work/ looking after them (how they all survived to adulthood is more luck than judgement!!) so as long as he has clean clothes and something to eat, he thinks he is living in the lap of luxury
he does however do absolutely nothing around the house to help........ he never cooks ( last time was well over 2 years ago!) or does any cleaning at all..... and he hardly ever even manages to put his dirty clothes in the laundry basket
he does work extremely hard and long hours, so really can't complain.
the garden is pissing me off a bit though, because it looks like a jungle,but though i usually do it myself, I just can't summon the energy!
Think I might have to bribe ds1 now he has left school
We spend approx £300 per month on a big online shop, then I spend about £ 50 per week on fruit, veg, bread at the local shop. so around £120 per week ish (for 7 of us)
I am currently only buying milk for me though, as we get it straight out of the tank, and we also have a freezer of our own beef and most of half a pig that i traded some beef for with a friend of mine, so that helps - I could no way afford fillet steak for 7 like we had last night
I am going to see The Script tonight at Thetford forest, and am quite excited !!
The only chore I would happily pay someone else for is ironing Umlauf. That would be great especially now that Linah is starting school in August and I'll have 4 lots of uniform to iron.
I think so Clapham. It involves a lot more dirty work than he thought it would. He has to do some cleaning and some of his clients are incontinent. Other support workers do the bare minimum but because of his obsessive nature he's more particular thus giving himself extra work.
for some weird reason, I totally missed parts of your post umlauf! congrats on the house - yay! and thanks for enlightening us on tucking's nickname
clapham, tucking's name is Tucking Fits (but with the F and the T the other way around)
Any volunteers to start a new thread? I never know what to call them!
I'm another one whose had a couple of emotional days recently - long days at work, very busy and then doing lots of stuff at home in the evening too. Those on the Facebook group will have seen me freaking out yesterday over my swollen feet! Luckily they've gone down this morning but not a great nights sleep with needing to pee, heartburn and the heat.
MoN - good for you standing up for yourself, is there something stopping hubby from cleaning up if he feels it needs doing?
I normally do the majority of the housework and cooking and hubby will do the heavy duty stuff but he's been pitching it much more recently which has been a relief.
In regards to the food shopping conversation, I'm another heavy spender (£100+ p/week) - we'll do a weekly shop at Tesco but then top up at Costco for bulk buys of meat/laundry stuff/cans of pop/toiletries etc. Equally though, we don't smoke or drink so I'm happy spending money on my pleasure in life - FOOD!
Enjoying the nickname conversation also, I did wonder...
Mine was simple really, I couldn't think of a decent screen name (10 years ago I think!) so came up with untitled, the x's either end are just for decoration.
Oh and also, shire - think we may be in the same neck of the woods if you're shopping at the Trafford Centre.
I'm near the Airport!
I bit the bullet for fear of running out of room! New thread here
on mobile and stuck in a stupid presentation so can't start a thread. after the last two days, shall we call it "little dramas of ever growing ladies"? :-)
well done roxvox! my turn to end a thread then :-)
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