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May 2013: 5 in the thread and the little one said, roll over - there's lots more on the way!

(998 Posts)
Rhienne Fri 19-Apr-13 20:47:01

Running out of space over here so a new thread for all our fabulous birth stories!

TigerSwallowTail Mon 22-Apr-13 09:54:27

Fox's biscuits are definitely going in my bag for afterwards.

Rhienne Mon 22-Apr-13 10:19:24

My top tip for labour is one of these:

Same function as a bendy straw, but way better. I drank about 2L in the last hour of labour, and DH could just hold up this and I could suck in the water. Also great to have with you in the bed afterwards when you need to drink but rolling over or reaching for the bedside table is painful, and on the sofa next to you while BF (if you do so). They don't spill even if lying on the bed, and you don't have to tip it up or fuss about opening/closing them. Just bite and suck.

I'm packing dried fruit (apricots and prunes), soft sweets - like jubes, flapjacks and muesli bars, glucose tablets/sweets, rehydration salts and sweet drinks - in my case Vitamin Water but only cos it's sweet and not bubbly - (see above about how much water I drank during labour last time!). And some crackers and sweet biscuits probably.

Rhienne Mon 22-Apr-13 10:20:08

D'oh. Try again: Camelbak bitevalve drinkbottles

Wirrawoo Mon 22-Apr-13 10:26:05

Thanks tassiedevil and scooby too for your sensitive and supportive answers, really appreciated. I agree that we have been here supporting each other for 8 months and it has been a huge source of comfort and release at times. I don't want anyone to not talk about things they feel they need to talk about, but I completely agree with scooby that it is incredibly easy to structure our thread in a way that caters to everyone in a sensitive way. To be honest what has disturbed me reading the last couple of pages of this thread is the lack of sympathy and support for someone voicing that they feel scared or concerned about aspects of childbirth, whether that is reading extended discussions about episiotomies or any aspect of labour. To see such a "well if you can't take the heat...", "I dont see why you're fussing" response to Seasalt rather than sensitivity and support was sad to see. I feel that everyone who takes the move to reach out and join this birth club deserves sympathy and respect for any concerns they may have. It doesn't really matter whether others do or don't personally have a problem with some concern that is written about because they aren't the ones who have the concern in the first place. Surely the logical, sensitive and supportive move is just to put little things in place IF needed to make this thread a safe and supportive place for everyone to be a part of. No big deal, no big hassle, evyone still gets to say what they need to say and everyone continues to feel supported rather than made to feel somehow naive or overly sensitive. It can't be that we support each other in some concerns but not in others, just because they don't fit in with our own opinion about how we like to discuss childbirth. I completely agree that we are all going to be going through labour and of course we have to be abe to talk about it, but it's also good for us in a public forum to remain sensitive to all in the group and there is nothing wrong with putting little things in place for all to feel represented and comfortable. I was frankly shocked at some of the responses and that, more than anything, has been the thing that I would want to make sure we don't see here... where is the sisterhood ladies?! (need some kind of fist in the air emoticon but alas....)
Personally, I'm not naive... I know it's not going to be 2 sneezes and a bit of aromatherapy and he's out, but I do feel vulnerable and far away from supportive family and friends. This birth club has been a huge help over these months and until last night I felt we had all been nothing but supportive. I really reeeaaally don't want to offend anyone or spark a typical Mumsnet stressful to read debate getting in the way of us talking about the actual brilliant thing to remember which is that in a few weeks we will all have gorgeous new babies in our arms regardless of how they get there... Just woke up feeling stressed about what I was reading last night and feeling bad that anyone felt they needed to leave the thread let alone surrounded by such a subsequent lack of sympathy that I've now opened my big gob and typed all this. Sorry for any offence, I will now get back to posting about baby prep!

Sorry for the mammoth post. ducks head to avoid flying mumsnet wrath

(on that note, DP went shopping for hospital food supplies and we now have twix, kitkats, mini cheddars, crisps and muesli bars. Not quite as healthy as I had in mind (!) but am going to stock up on fruit and chuck some in the bag when we leave. Also was told that a good idea is to freeze a couple of sandwiches and take them out when you leave for the hospital so they are defrosted by the time you need them).

Bunnychan Mon 22-Apr-13 10:28:47

Hi ladies
Can I just say how rubbish the nhs are? I woke up in the night with a second bout of tmi..diarrhea which left me in agony- I swear it caused me to have contractions for a good 20 minutes and so I phoned nhs direct as I wasn't sure if the pain was or wasn't and felt stupid phoning the mw. After going through all the questions etc, the pain stopped and she advised me to phone the mw as I was 'at risk of preterm labour' she also said that as my baby had been more active than usual 'it was a possible sign of infection to the baby'. So at 2.30 this morning I hit full bloody panic mode!!! Phoned Mw, explained everything to her and she said no, that it didn't matter that baby is really active as babies have active and quiet days so not to worry about that. First phew. Then she said that if the pains had stopped to get some sleep and see how I feel but phone back if anymore problems or pains. Second phew. Talk about scaring the shit out of me. I finally managed to go back to sleep and although I feel achy, I'm not in pain anymore. I've never felt contractions before but god that was uncomfortable.

In regards to the birth stories. Each to their own. I'm a first timer and appreciate the good with the bad but maybe just putting a heading would mean that we could stay together on the thread.

Bunny x

Rhienne Mon 22-Apr-13 10:29:49

What I wish someone had warned me about last time
Warning - this post contains possibly way TMI. Not for the squeemish

I think I did read about these in one of my pregnancy books last time, but it still surprised me, and maybe it will be useful to the first timers to know. After birth, your body needs to deal with all the after effects. Two things I wasn't really prepared for were 1. how long I bled for, and 2. how much I sweated!

I had a VB, so can't talk for CS. As far as I understand it, when your placenta comes away, it leaves an open wound inside your womb. And that takes a while to heal. So you bleed. Lots. Obviously everyone's different and I'm sure some of the others can give alternative views, but I was in disposable string underwear with massive maternity pads for more than a week, then big period pads for longer still (I think...). And using the shower head to run water over my privates as I peed, because it stung my stitches. I hadn't expected it to last so long, it was much longer than a normal period.

The other thing that took me by surprise was the night-sweats. I woke up in my own private lake in the bed, every night, for aaages. I tried sleeping in a towel but just managed to screw it up and push it aside in my sleep. This time round when we bought DS's new toddler bed and a new mattress protector for him, I bought an extra for me too. So I've lined my mattress ready this time. It was really quite blah, and took weeks to settle down.

Not much fun, but hopefully forewarned is forearmed...

tasmaniandevilchaser Mon 22-Apr-13 10:48:18

Anyone who wants an inspiring book on natural childbirth then anything by Ina May Gaskin is wonderful. It gave me a lot of confidence in the lead up to DD's birth and although the labour was in the end quite medical, it was good to feel a bit calmer and stronger about giving birth going into it.

aberjen Mon 22-Apr-13 10:58:25

wirra (and by extension Seasalt) hope my post wasn't one that came across as insensitive - I didn't mean it that way, just in a 'my preference would be' way. Completely appreciate that when you're skimming over mumsnet posts it is all too easy to read something that you'd rather have skipped, but weren't forewarned about. I know I sometimes need to be in the right headspace, otherwise it can be easy to stress and worry about stuff I've read, and it's not like you can unread it. From my perspective, I would rather everything was kept in one place, i.e. on this thread, but really like how Rhienne flagged her post just now with a warning, so at least it is easy to skip if someone's not in the right frame of mind. Does that make sense? (Am now sounding like NCT teacher, whose favourite turn of phrase is 'Do you see what I mean?' grin)

bunny, sorry you're still poorly and how rubbish of NHS direct! I guess they want to cover themselves and err on the side of following up with MW, but still! Hope you're feeling better soon

Rest of post poss TMI - re Rhienne

Had heard about the bleeding and sweating - was expecting the bleeding to go on for weeks but hadn't realised the sweating does too - shall warn DP about yet another fun pregnancy-related symptom that we can look forward to! Have already invested in charming waterproof mattress protector in case waters go in night...

tasmaniandevilchaser Mon 22-Apr-13 11:03:12


I bled for a few weeks but I didn't sweat , but then I am a lady wink actually the least lady like person I know!

BeauticianNotMagician Mon 22-Apr-13 11:31:36

Seasalt Come back.I was shocked at what followed my posts last night certainly Didnt mean to scare anyone.

I do think its a good idea to share but like Seasalt not wanting to know me wanting to know things is my personal preference.

I would like to add to anyone that wants to know. Despite a long labour with my first and forceps delivery the first thing I said when he was placed on my chest was 'I want another one' and I had ds2 17 months later. So it certainly wasnt all that bad.
However, I wish I had been part of a group like this with ds1 and heard people's birth stories so that I could have been better informed again personal preference and isn't hindsight wonderful. I'm not saying I would have refused a forceps delivery or an epistiotomy. Epistiotomys are fine mine was fine it was unfortunately just stitched badly which is uncommon but it was corrected within a week. Now if I had have had certain knowledge beforehand my ds birth may have been different. For example I was labouring so slow I didn't know it could be accelerated in anyway and a midwife told me afterwards they should have tried breaking my waters( which broke on delivery) also I didn't realise my stitches shouldn't be sooo uncomfortable I thought well Ive been stitched its going to hurt. If I had of spoken out sooner my stitches and pain from them would have been managed before I left hospital but I didn't want to be the moany new mum ??

Anyway on to snacks for labour . I'm packing mixed fruit and nuts, dried apricots, Capri suns(easy to drink), water, biscuits, haribo and bananas and some cobs.

Most essential hospital bag items are water and LIPBALM. My mouth gets so dry during labour and even more so if using has and air smile

BeauticianNotMagician Mon 22-Apr-13 11:37:26

TMI post

I bled for about 5 weeks after ds1 but was very light from week 2. I used disposable pants and thick maternity pads. Will not bother with disposable pants again so uncomfy.

With ds2 I bled for a week and a bit then had a normal period four weeks after that.I used black asda pants two sizes bigger than my pre pregnancy size and thick maternity pads. The winged thinner pads are useless. I have the bought the same type of pants this time.

I don't remember the sweating thing but it was 7 and 8 years ago.

Boodstress Mon 22-Apr-13 12:07:43

Where are you Seasalt? Hope you've read all the comments calling you back. I also think the apprehension is palatable right now and tempers are fraying somewhat so that's probably worth bearing in mind. I know in an actual anti natel class I would temper my conversation to the audience and if there were first timers in there I would be sensitive.

Re food - as a C-section you are nil by mouth but after I dream of having a block of blue cheese, a plate of sushi, pâté & crackers and a small bottle of champers - in reality I will have a cold slice of toast with marmalade from a disgruntled NHS midwife with a cup of sweet tea - which I hate but will absolutely love.

Bunny I have had a similar diarr. Bug a few weeks ago and had to do a sample (not easy!!!) for the hospital. It was all fine. Yesterday I was vomiting and had nausea all day plus very crampy in my upper abdomen. I have a pre op in a couple of hours so will get them to check me over. The thing that was freaking me out was the baby went beserk for about an hour. It was doing laps in there. I got worried it was having a seizure or something. I need this baby out now... My paranoia is reaching epic proportions.

Section on Thursday :-000

Birth details
As a section veteran I bled for about 5 days each time and not very much at all. I didn't have the sweats at all but a whole host of other side effects available on request.

Boodstress Mon 22-Apr-13 12:08:29

Grrrrh - typo ' Palpable right now'

Bunnychan Mon 22-Apr-13 12:15:01

bood that was like my baby yesterday! In reality I think that the baby has changed position so I'm feeling a lot more outward movements. The midwife was not at all worried about all the extra movement x

SevenReasonsToSmile Mon 22-Apr-13 12:24:56

I can understand first timers worrying when they read about scary birth stories involving stitches etc but I agree everything should stay on this thread. Just to redress the balance FWIW I had two easy non-complicated births. With DS I was in hospital being monitored for pre-eclampsia, due to be induced at 36 weeks. At 35+5 contractions started around 11am. I was given pethidine (which made me feel very spaced out) at 1pm, DS was born at 3.15pm after 20 mins pushing. With DD my waters broke in bed (definitely recommend waterproof mattress protectors!) at 6am. I was told to go in despite not having contractions as again I was pre-37 weeks and kept in for obs. Mild Contractions started at 8pm, and were quite painful by 10pm, MW checked and I was 5cm dilated. Taken to the delivery suite where I had gas and air (no time for anything else), DD arrived at 11.15. I had a very small graze caused by her speedy arrival but it was fine within a few days.

Not meaning to offend anyone but surely we can talk about the bleeding after labour? That's one thing that we all certainly will experience, and its presumably useful to have a good idea how long it lasts so you know how many maternity pads are necessary.

Had a nice weekend in London. DH done the marathon in 5.5 hours, he suffered with his feet quite badly, and has gone to work walking like a robot today grin

ng1412 Mon 22-Apr-13 12:49:16

Seven fair play to your DH going to work today, I took the day off after I did the London marathon as i could not walk anywhere!

Just back from gyne appt. Baby is head down but not engaged so the head is by my bladder and not yet near to my cervix, with its back rounded and legs sort of under my left ribs. We were relieved to hear it is not ready yet as my parents are not due here until Saturday so we would really struggle with our DD if something happened before then.

The French gyne also confirmed that I am 36+1 rather than as the Swiss say which is a week behind. I honestly can't understand the Swiss but I will not argue with my c section date as the actual date is fine with us given DD's birthday is the week before. Anyway I am comforted to know I am right haha!

DD's roseola cleared up, scary times but everything seems ok. Let us hope she doesn't catch anything else anytime soon....

tasmaniandevilchaser Mon 22-Apr-13 13:16:26

Phew! Parents are back from holiday, bump you are allowed to arrive now! (They are down for babysitting DD when DS decides he is making his appearance)

seven congrats to your DH and the money he has raised!

DXBMermaid Mon 22-Apr-13 14:05:22

Possibly TMI

Found out today that I've tested positive for strep-B... Makes me feel like I have a dirty fanjo blush Dr informed me that I will be given iv-antibiotics during my labour. Hope that doesn't mean I won't be able to move around! Has anyone else had this? Do I need to worry? I started reading on google but got rather freaked out.

On a different note, I'm another first timer who finds it very useful to read about the gory stuff. I guess I like to be informed about things. I knew about the bleeding, but not about the night sweats... Thank goodness for a.c.

Have my first BH last night. Not painful but uncomfortable and strange. Suppose it means things are slowly getting started!

TerracottaPie Mon 22-Apr-13 14:23:12

Just been reading the last lots of posts. Not going to rehash everything but wanted to say Seasalt I do hope you come back to the thread and get any support you need from it.

These last few weeks can really take their toll. No matter how many babies any of us have had I think most of us will be having wobbles at the idea of labour at some point. Everyone is different in how they deal with those anxieties and no one way is the right way so I do hope we can accommodate everyone in this. Plus what Wirra said!

I'm still to do anything to be organised for this baby! I have what i need to do in my head but that's it. If I, by some miracle, have a baby that comes anything except late I'll be scrambling around trying to pack a bag aren't I? I see the consultant on Wed and think I'm waiting for that appointment and will organise everything after that. Please feel free to give me a kick up the bum if I post again after Wed and mention that I still have no hospital bag packed grin

Agree that bleeding shouldn't be a taboo topic seven. Do the books mention that lochia lasts around 1-2 weeks? With DS I was till bleeding (albeit lightly) at my 8 week post natal check. Nothing was wrong just that due to DSs size I had a large placenta, which means a greater wound on the uterus which in turns means it longer to heal. Or something like that. The other 2 DCs were around 4-6 weeks I think.

Oh yes, the sweating...I'd forgotten about it when DS came but as it's not been that long ago since his birth I've forgotten none of the post birth joys this time. (eg I'm planning on getting my super strength pile suppositories and cream prescription sorted this week!)

Any second timers not been told about after pains? They were a shock. I loved how my mum and sister went 'oh, yes they are unpleasant' when I mentioned it to them. So why didn't they bloody tell me about them before I gave birth?! Saying that though, I didn't have any with DS. Don't know if that was due to the gap between 2 and 3. Makes me wonder what they'll be like this time though!

Last thing I wanted to say was to echo what tas said during her glucose high. It is so so worth it. All of it. I'm so excited to meet this baby. So excited to see what he or she looks like. And whether it is a he or a she. Can't wait for those newborn thighs to squidge. And labour, no matter how it goes means I get to do that. I will deal with what ever comes before, during and after because I will have this beautiful baby as a result of it.

Sorry for the soppiness. Must have had a good nights sleep or something grin

TigerSwallowTail Mon 22-Apr-13 14:37:10

I'd never heard of after pains until this thread, is it stomach cramps, backache or both? And how long do they last?

TerracottaPie Mon 22-Apr-13 14:49:25

It's the uterus contracting to shrink back down from its pregnant state. So basically like contractions in labour. Which hurt. A bit.

Super fun stuff hmm grin

I remember them being especially fun when I was trying to breastfeed (which can bring on a pain in itself) and therefore didn't want to move and disrupt DD2 but it then meant I couldn't find a comfy way to deal with the pain. Not everyone gets them though I don't think.

I've just remembered something I wish someone had told me when I'd had my first. That you still look pregnant! I was so shocked by it. For some reason it didn't occur to me that my uterus wouldn't immediately be back to the size it was before it had taken 9 months to grow a baby grin

TerracottaPie Mon 22-Apr-13 14:52:38

Oh and I cannot remember at all how long they last! Not that long I don't think. A week maybe? Hopefully someone else can remember that better than me. They do become less frequent and less strong though.

MammaBrussels Mon 22-Apr-13 15:21:52

Also TMI I was pissing like a racehorse after I had DS. All that water you retain in the last couple of weeks is either sweated or piddled out.

I understand that people are nervous about delivery and I hope none of my comments have worried anyone. Honestly, I had an easy labour, I slept through most of it then woke up needing to push, he was out in 25 minutes. Was much, much easier than I thought it would be and the second that baby is placed on your chest you forget it all. If it were that bad I wouldn't be doing again (and dropping subtle hints about wanting a third to DH).

MammaBrussels Mon 22-Apr-13 15:23:14

Terra I didn't have any after pains, nor did I notice my milk coming in.

TerracottaPie Mon 22-Apr-13 16:13:12

Mamma you don't tend to get the after pains with your first. Usually come with the second one and then apparently get stronger with each subsequent baby. Haven't got a clue why that is though thinking about it.

You mean you didn't get the enormous rock hard boobs when your milk came in?! I would love that grin

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