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June 2013 - thread 6 - will this thread see any early arrivals?

(1000 Posts)
AlohaMama Thu 18-Apr-13 05:44:57

Welcome back all June-ers, just realised we were about to run out of space on the old thread.

Olimoss Thu 18-Apr-13 11:51:50

Morning - well had our first NCT class last night, run by what I suppose is a reassuringly middle-aged school teacher type, but which of course resulted in me behaving a bit like I did in maths class in high school. 8 couples in total and she wasn't too hardcore on things like hospitals VS homebirths which I was grateful for.

Hated her constant references to us as 'mummies', though. Genuinely riled by it.

She did introduce us to, and I quote, 'an acronym we just love her at NCT' - BRAINS - did you get it too? Basically it's the decision-making process they want you to go through in birth if the hospital staff are suggesting a particular intervention. I truly can't imagine that being something I'd refer to when I'm being told 'the baby needs to come out NOW'.

People also there seemed nice, and one particularly entertaining Charlie Brooker type, and less posh Chiswick types than I had feared. And no one really young (ie: I didn't feel too old) the only one there giving birth at C&W and having a CSection though.

Followed all that up with the whooping cough injection this morning. OW.

Hope those of you feeling a bit off feel better soon. I'm still coughing up lung, figure my intercostal muscles and diaphragm must be well fit by now.

redwellybluewelly Thu 18-Apr-13 11:59:18

Rue that was the helpline I tried to access but nothing ever happened and I didn't have any support. I just felt really let down by them overall when I had hoped they would be a good source of advice. I should add we do live in a rural part of East Anglia and the NCT (and also BLISS) have less on up here but even so at a time when we were desperate for a kind ear we discovered it didn't exist. I've also tried to attend coffee mornings (promised to get in touch when they started up and never did) and I offered to help on the shared experiences helpline but again although they emailed to say they'd like the input they never go in touch to join me up.

Well done on the school rush run though smile take it easy for the rest of the day though!

Olimoss Thu 18-Apr-13 12:00:49

Ah, except redwelly it seems like maybe you got the absolutely wrong kind of support from hospital staff.

It's a bloody situation, really, you just want your baby(ies) out safely and you're really inclined to take the advice of those medical professionals around you, and it's usually a lottery as to who you get.

redwellybluewelly Thu 18-Apr-13 12:16:31

Well it was a combined cock up from start to finish and the doctors also made some pretty shite decisions.

I do humbly apologise to newbies - what happened to us was a 3 in a thousand chance and in fact I did have (up until the end) an easy uneventful labour which had it been a week earlier and in a pool (and possibly at home) would have resulted in me singing a different song.

Ultimately all you can do is trust your instinct, you are the only one who knows babies moves and kicks and tumbles and having the confidence to stand up and say 'No, my baby is not well I need a second opinion' would have stood me in good stead.

The fact this baby will be here within the next 7 weeks is however driving me to think I may not yet be ready to be a mum of two!

Saku Thu 18-Apr-13 12:37:14

Me too June..r smile

RueDeWakening Thu 18-Apr-13 13:10:29

I think it can be fairly hit and miss Redwelly - they've lost the funding for the project recently so it's become part of the helpline, the helpline should pass your details on to a volunteer who then has 24ish hours to get back in touch with you. It's meant to be national though, so while they try to put you in touch with local people, if there isn't anyone then they should be able to look more widely for you.

And also for newbies my experiences so far are not exactly common either grin don't let us put you off... (Bit late now, mind grin)

SunnyL Thu 18-Apr-13 13:18:47

Redwelly - sorry things turned so tough for you. I think in my brothers case what was really hard for us all was he refused to talk with us about what was going on. My dad is a GP and whilst he's not a midwife he does have excellent experience of providing care. He is also a father of 3 and a grandfather of 3 so could have helped.

Then of course there was the incident when the child developed eczema and Dr Google told my brother it was a good idea to bathe a 6 month old baby in a bath with diluted bleach but thats a whole other story...... He has a frickin PhD but clearly this wasn't in common sense!

learnermummy Thu 18-Apr-13 13:24:39

diluted bleach?! OMG! What was he thinking?

AmIGoingMad Thu 18-Apr-13 13:39:30

Diluted bleach?!?! That's insane!

Forget- I've just had my hypnobirthing book that I got off ebay. Am hoping it will at least calm me a little bit! Also have counselling through occ health at work and she's said she's happy to help me with birth issues too.

It's all getting a bit real now!

Also had my whooping cough injection today and took DS for early second mmr too. He's doing really well so far- fingers crossed it continues!

redwellybluewelly Thu 18-Apr-13 13:59:03

Diluted Bleach!??? <re-evaluates getting PhD>

I keep forgetting to book that WC injection, life keeps getting in the way.

On the last thread I mentioned a step being a help - we got ours for a fiver from Dunelm mill and it folds up to put away so DD doesn't help herself to hand washing or climbing in the bath! Its working really well and I'm feeling better now I am not lifting her as much. Baby inside however is doing some random kind of stretchy moves which hurt my ribs (RH side) and my cervix at the same time and sitting at a desk in NOT helping!

Sunbeam18 Thu 18-Apr-13 14:38:21

Thanks for the heads up about the NCT. I really hate the natural birth evangelists who put pressure on others. Surely it's all about the baby and mother coming out of the experience as healthy as possible, not about 'the 'process' or about avoiding all medical intervention. The NCT have a lot to answer for. I'm horrified to read your story, red.

maisiebeem Thu 18-Apr-13 14:52:29

Afternoon ladies, I have been keeping quiet about my NCT experiences... But feel I should ask for your advice! We have now attended 3 sessions, it's the leaders first time running the course- and where I understand that everyone must start somewhere- I really really wish it wasn't with us! There are 5 couples in total in our group- all due in June and all first time parents. The combination of a very nervous leader and nervous first time parents is dreadful! I feel that it's not ideal- especially as it costs a lot to attend, so far we haven't learnt a thing, and I'm regretting forking out the expense! My DH is hating going, and I'm insisting we continue in te hope that there will be a diamond piece of advice or information amongst all the rubbish we are being told.
Ladies what should I do?

I can't believe some of you already know when you're baby's/babies are arriving! Exciting times!

maisiebeem Thu 18-Apr-13 14:54:38

Excuse the "x" although I'm sure we could all do with a bit of affection!

learnermummy Thu 18-Apr-13 15:05:03

Oh dear Maisie, I think you should contact NCT and explain. You shouldn't be expected to pay for that. What has she covered so far?

redwellybluewelly Thu 18-Apr-13 15:10:21

Maisie contact the NCT and ask for a refund. Its shockingly expensive and you should at least be learning something. Thats rubbish. Also have you been able to book the NHS AN classes where you might learn something?

maisiebeem Thu 18-Apr-13 15:14:07

She's talked about the stages of birth, but has been pretty vague, jumping between stages, saying she'll come back to a subject, and then doesn't! Shes also talked about Different forms of pain relief- ones that actually the local hospital- that all couples are going to don't use! There's lots of umming and errrrrring, and generally uneasiness!

maisiebeem Thu 18-Apr-13 15:19:00

I have now booked the NHS course, but will unfortunately have to attend it without DH, as he's a hair dresser and is fully booked for all the Saturdays leading upto the week before due date! Thank you for the advice- I think I will start composing a strong letter!

redwellybluewelly Thu 18-Apr-13 15:35:44

Someone I worked with for some time had a baby about 6 months before me, she did the NCT class and was left utterly unimpressed by it and wrote toe NCT to ask for her money back. What she hadn't realised was that the rest of the class did the same thing! So the NCT ran a weekend 2 day session just for them with a more experienced teacher and anyone who couldn't attend was refunded.

Another colleague was so shocked by the poor quality information we were given here and also the fairly dire state of her maternity ward that she booked flights home to Germany and had her son there! That was several years ago and 'birth centres' have become all the rage here which I think are a great halfway house but they've caused their own set of issues - our hospital spent £400,000 just on building the birth suite months after lack of midwives (not enough funding) contributed to our situation. Spat a few feathers out the day that appeared in the paper! grin

Olimoss Thu 18-Apr-13 15:59:50

I think that, regardless of who is running the course, you should be able to complain if the quality of the teaching isn't good.

Last night's first NCT session wasn't very full on or sophisticated, although the series of 15 A3-sized laminates of full-colour pictures (not photos, thank god) of the stages of labour appeared to put the fear of god into some attendees....but the lady who presented has been doing for a year or two and seemed to have it in hand. I think we have been lucky, maybe, in not getting a massive non-medical intervention evangelist, although it is very early days.

We have another 4 hour session on Saturday but it's ladies-only for the first 2 hours - I have no idea what the hell could be happening that means the men can't be there!

I really bloody well wish she would stop referring to us as 'mummies', though. This language of 'nappy natters' and 'jelly bellies' and dumbing down just does my brain in. Fairly confident we're not expelling our brains at the same time we have the least not totally!

Steffanoid Thu 18-Apr-13 16:09:37

I'm starting to feel glad that there isn't a nct class too local to here, am trying to book onto my limited NHS course at the hospital, but it's basically a tour of the unit and there's a bfing one also, bit lacking in confidence and help that's available round here ...

AmIGoingMad Thu 18-Apr-13 16:24:11

Same here steffanoid! I was disappointed not to manage to get on nct course for DS but reading these posts I'm quite relieved! The Nhs one wasn't great either if I'm honest. I think mumsnet , my rl friends and books/Internet were the best sources of info for me personally. I just keep getting so frustrated with the differences in what is offered in different parts of the UK when its all NHS. Different care, scans, pain relief ( I'd have loved a mobile epidural last time!)

Rant over though! Sorry!

On much more positive note, DS is doing really well so far after mmr! Fingers crossed!

Thanks for dunelm recommendation redwelly!

learnermummy Thu 18-Apr-13 17:00:11

I don't even know what a mobile epidural is AmI!

june2013 Thu 18-Apr-13 17:16:14

Hi everyone

just popping in... lovely to 'see' everyone getting on and progressing.

Also just wanted to say that we just started our NCT classes (we got a massive discount for being students) and where we are, it is GREAT! For example:
- We wrote our fears (sthg like that) about the course in the first class; everyone raised not wanting to the natural birth mantra. Instructor said that was a myth about NCT (clearly not, but she's really not like that).
- We wrote our own agenda for the course.
- Instructor is all for supporting any type of intervention (or not) that people want. We talked through all the options of home birth, midwife unit and obstetrics unit in detail.
- She's really knowledgeable and very relaxed
- She's a little cynical and has a great sense of humour. No mumsie, wishy washy, touchy feely crap (sorry I hate that).
- Other parents to be are lovely!

So in case anyone else is about to start NCT or everyone is just about to give up on it - just wanted to add my tupence to say it has been great so far (here).

We've only just started buying stuff. Having agonised over a pram, we finally got an uppababy vista - DH loves the high tech stuff... but it doesn't really fit through one of the doors inside our house (quite a crucial one!!). I checked before we left the shop that we could get a refund in case we had a problem... But DH insisted we keep it anyway and so proceeded to take half the door & frame down. It now fits, just about... it's lovely to push otherwise!!

Still slowly working on PhD, <waves to Red> going to conference tomorrow in London which starts at 9am and finishes at 6pm and of course I'm speaking at 4.45pm - boo hoo! I don't know how any of you do being pregnant in London & working / commuting. It would KILL me!

AlohaMama Thu 18-Apr-13 17:29:47

Seems to be a bit of a mixed bag on the NCT classes. Obviously not available here, with ds our option was Lamaze classes through hospital or Bradley classes separately (very non-interventional/natural birth). Our Lamaze teacher started off saying how she was there to advise and support on every type of birth but her language made it very apparent that she was very anti-intervention of any kind (cascade effects etc etc.). In the event I was induced 10 d early due to ds's size, and he did get stuck and had to get pulled out with the suction thingy (on the very last chance I had before otherwise going into emcs) , so presumably if I hadn't been induced I definitely would have had an emcs. I like the idea of NCT for meeting people as friends I know who've done it seem to have made really good friends, but at our hospital-class, people came from all over the city, and having to go back to work at 12 wks meant I wasn't exactly going to be meeting up for coffees and lunches anyway!

Hope those of you with crap classes manage to get refunds, or at least find some information elesewhere. From the posts above, I'd suggest Dr Google might not be the best source hmm

AlohaMama Thu 18-Apr-13 17:33:50

Sorry I meant to say, I do think it's great to have all the facts but such a shame when teaching is so anti-intervention/pain relief etc that mums afterwards feel they've failed when they've had a birth that didn't follow that path. Even though I'm a pretty pragmatic kind of person I have to admit to feeling a little bit like I didn't do as well as I'd have liked (having to be induced, then have oxytocin and epidural and suction thing), and kind of look to this second birth as an opportunity to 'do better.'

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