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May 2013 - we've seen our babies and our trousers are tighter as we enter the second trimester!

(996 Posts)
SevenElvesAndAReindeer Fri 16-Nov-12 17:53:42

Shiny new thread. Come and grab a brew and a biscuit.

LittleBairn Mon 19-Nov-12 20:12:41

wilde so glad to hear that the baby is fine, hope you manage to rest.

Our second scan wasn't much better than our first, baby looking healthy but still being awkward this time flexing its head to far back, so the Nucal couldn't be done so will just have the blood test now.
Apparently I have a huge bladder. blush


berri Mon 19-Nov-12 20:44:18

Elly that sounds crap - maybe give your MW a call, she might be able to get you a docs appt earlier rather than later, or she might say to pop in and see her tomorrow instead of the doc?

We had the Angelcare monitor too with DS, gave it to a friend but we'll definitely be repurchasing. I know there's nothing can be done if the worst happens but in terms of not disturbing the baby by poking it every two minutes to check it's breathing (v hard not to do this!) and when it has a cold etc, we found it invaluable.

frankie and seasalt I've lost quite a bit of weight too, and didn't really have any MS. I put it down to the lack of alcohol at first but I would have thought at nearly 17 weeks I would have started to gain by now, especially now I have a bump. I'd be interested too SeaSalt to hear whether your doc says anything about it. I've had loads of doc visits and it's never been mentioned so I presume it's fine and it'll go on later probably all at once

BMI is 20 so still ok I guess.

MaybeAMayBaby Mon 19-Nov-12 21:26:53

Hiya ladies,
Just checking in. Re weight loss-I know it's different, but I didn't gain an ounce in my second trimester in my last pregnancy. I was being seen ever 2 weeks because of my diabetes so it was on my mind all te time. Especially a I seemed to be growing so much! I was always told 'not a problem'. Admittedly I gained loads in first trimester (and have this time too). I look proper pudgy!
Wirra-I wasn't happy with my mum for buying the angel are monitor for us at first. I loved it in the end! Just piece if mind. Make sure you have it on a hard surface like wood (we used a big bit of cardboard) under mattress. It went off once in a year! She had rolled right into the corner of the cotbed. We soon shot up the stairs. Never moved so fast.
Noticed the kids at school whispering and looking at my bump/fat today. Not sure what I feel about them knowing yet.
Anyone else worried about time off ill at the moment? I'm ill again. Full on cold and voice is going. I just feel like I've had a lot of time off recently and then there are all the appts too (like i said-every 2 weeks). Don't feel like it go down well tomorrow morning.
Also. Tmi. But the coughing has aggregated my stress incontinence. I've had it since last birth and was having physio during the summer. But I think since getting pregnant/cold season it's awful again. Imagine being in front of a class of 16 yr olds, coughing and then pissing yourself. I've had 2 bloody tenna lady on today sad. I'm really thinking of pushing for a section this time. And then the op to sort this mess out. So embarrassing.
Ladies. Do your pelvic floor.

LittleBairn Mon 19-Nov-12 21:27:47

elly when I was feeling bad last week I would make a home made lemon sip by putting 1 table spoon of honey into a mug, squeez a fresh lemon into it and add hot water. You could take some paracetamol with it too of you really needed it.

For chesty coughs Tumuric is meant to be good for clearing the chest.

I also read that Boots do their own versions of cough bottles and lemon sips that are safe for pregnant woman just ask the pharmacist.

MaybeAMayBaby Mon 19-Nov-12 21:28:26


LittleBairn Mon 19-Nov-12 21:31:36

maybeA that reminds me of the time my nephews angle monitor went off ( my sister and her DF were living with my parents and I was visiting ) my sister, my mum and myself immediately jumped out of bed and ran toward the cot my brother in law was woken by the commotion and was all a bit WTF at us all in the room. grin Nephew was fine.

berri Tue 20-Nov-12 03:59:59

Maybe how annoying for you sad
Can anything be done at the moment, or would you have to wait until after the baby arrives?

wilderumpus Tue 20-Nov-12 09:29:55

aw maybe that sucks.

berri do you have a low-lying placenta too? I am taking any spotting as a warning sign to chill out from now on, then I think it should be ok. not going to do any exercise for now apart from chilled out walking. Tho I really fancy just a little swim... Am a bit wary though as i read that you can bleed really badly from it! eek. I would rather have this tho than think I am doomed to mc every time I spot though!

little glad your scan was good and congrats on your big bladder grin

SeaSalt1 Tue 20-Nov-12 12:58:31

Hi there, got to be quick but wanted to thank everyone for the best wishes re: scan, it went well, thank goodness, and it was wonderful to see our little bean wriggling around, they even waved at us! It was brilliant smile

Berri, you asked what the doc said about my weight loss. He was reassuring but I'm not sure it's comparable to your situation as mine is definitely down to MS and I'm only 13+2 with no bump yet. Maybe you should specifically ask the midwife about it? Or the doctor? It sounds like something that should be flagged and discussed, if only to give you peace of mind.

Got to dash but just thought I'd update quickly.

roastpotatoes Tue 20-Nov-12 13:19:57

Great news Sea - congratulations!

I'm feeling really rubbishy today. I had a meeting yesterday with my boss and she wanted to talk to me about my maternity leave dates. She asked when I would be coming back and before I could answer, she said 'September?'. Arghhh that's only 4 months! I mumbled something about a bit longer and so she wrote down October. I was thinking that I would have at least until Christmas off and then review the situation. I know that I can do that by rights but it was clear from the meeting that this would be seen as a bit of a weakness/lack of commitment to my job. She also made some suggestions of work that I could crack on with whilst on leave ('good time to write a book or a few papers').... Ever since the meeting I've just been feeling so down. You hear of people having to deal with this kind of thing but I wasn't ready for it. Having a baby is such an exciting thing and I really want to give it my all but now I am worried that I am going to spend my whole leave feeling guilty about work. DH is away at the moment so I don't even have someone to remind me of the bigger picture sad

tasmaniandevilchaser Tue 20-Nov-12 13:53:27

Hi everyone

Roast, I'm totally shocked at your boss! You're legally entitled to a year off and you don't have to tell them when you're coming back until I think 8 wks before. You don't have to make a decision now, you can think about what suits you and get back to her. As for telling you what you should be doing during your mat leave.... shock. Are you in academia? My DH is, I know it's pretty competitive but still.

Sea salt , great news on scan!

Maybe, I feel your pain on the pelvic floor front, I'm doing my exercises now! Thanks for the reminder.

Little I'd also recommend hot lemon and honey, plus fresh ginger. I'm drinking loads. Managed to get a cold just as I was recovering from pneumonia, and that drink has been great.

Berri and Wilde, hope you are taking it easy

And hi to crafty

Under docs orders to start getting out and about, so went to a cafe for lunch today and I feel a lot better for it. It's been a bit crazy staying in bed/on sofa for 3 wks, I was starting to go a bit mad with too much time to fret.

Hope everyone else is ok

MooLL Tue 20-Nov-12 13:59:22

Roast I am so sorry you went through that meeting - its so tough as there are your legal rights (which Im afraid I dont know) but also the guilt of 'being a good team member' .. I know with DD1 I plannd to work up to almost due date (haha suprise when she arrived a month early!) and also come back dead on 6 months .. Im part of the management team here and therefore didnt eant to be seen as not being part of that team. However when it came down to it noone thanked me for it and all I did was regret leaving my DD so early. This time therefore I am taking a year off and you know what ... they can think what they like ... there is the bigger picture and you need to do what is right for you ... if you come back early and are unhappy about it surely that is worse for them that having someone back a couple of months later engergised and happy to be returning. Same for writing the book comment. With DD is actually made me anxious not to check in most days with work - but that was personal choice ... had I been asked to do it, again I dont think they would have got a very good product out of me

wilderumpus Tue 20-Nov-12 14:24:10

roast are in academia? grrr at your boss, am gutted for you. My boss said that I would have to put my baby in care to finish my PhD shock then remembered himself and congratulated me! Bah, you won't have the brain to write papers or a book while looking after a little baby - does your boss have kids, I assume not or surely they would know this?! My brain didn't come back until about 9months when I felt guilty and sloped back to my desk -wish I hadn't--.

Have your time off; this only happens to you with your baby once in your life, work will always be there and they can't sack you. When you are heavily pg and aching, nesting away and eating choc on mat leave you won't give a stuff about what they think - and as for when your baby is here... grin I remember putting away my papers when about 36 weeks with DS and the feeling of utter relief when I let my brain finally ooze into dosy, happy land!

sea hurrah for your scan smile

glad you out and about tas and feel a bit better. am indeed not doing much, just working!

roastpotatoes Tue 20-Nov-12 16:41:57

Yup academia - I guess it was always going to be tough.

But thanks for the encouragement - it reminds me that I need to do what's right for me (us!) rather than just trying to keep everyone happy.

MaybeAMayBaby Tue 20-Nov-12 20:06:15

Roast-what an utterly shocking and stupid thing for your boss to say! You'd think someone intelligent (I assume she is in the job she's in) woul know how much trouble you could cause with comments like that.
I went back at 9 months too. And while it was fine, I'm adamant I'm taking a year this time.
Berri-yes. They'll have to wait until after the birth. Tbh, when I'm not coughing or sneezing I have no issue at all. But yesterday the cough was pretty extreme and my pelvic floor just couldn't cope. Today-much less coughing and my nicer experience! But now I've nearly lost my voice. Looks like may be a day off tomorrow. My DD is 3 tomorrow! This time 3 years ago I was having regular contractions that no one took seriously (I was induced and the midwives kept saying that it was just prostin pains). They sent my DH home and I cried through the night. A dr finally saw my discomfort and got my gas and air at about 3am and asked a midwife to check me. I was (I think) 4cm dilated. Her face was priceless as she'd spent all night basically calling me a wimp. She then quickly called DH and I was whisked off to delivery.
Ahhhh, the memories smile

Tas-I feel like a wuss complaining of my cold when you've gone through all you have!

Don't swim wirra! I say relax. You'll miss that in a few months wink.

tasmaniandevilchaser Tue 20-Nov-12 20:32:09

maybe we're all allowed a moan! And I've spent the day relaxing on the sofa and having a nice lunch out and you've been in the classroom, I'm not feeling hard done by today! smile

roast a friend of mine worked really hard when she was pg with her first, worked right up to her due date. Then while she was on mat leave got totally shafted and basically they offered her a secretarial/admin post on her return (she's something high up in accounting). The take home message is look after yourself and your family.

Kittykatmacbill Wed 21-Nov-12 08:41:28

roast how ridiculous is your boss?!??? I am really sorry that is totally terrible. When my dh worked in research, one of the men was explaining that he was going on paternity leave for the fortnight, the confused response from their prof was 'good god man! What on earth are you going to do with that time? your golf can't be that bad!'.

I finally told work, they were super nice. Until the risk assessment, which seems to mean I can't work on any of my favourite projects!

I been a bit exhausted this week, with an endless and increasingly disgusting cold. It's been really exhausting, and in a moment of fraughtness I totally convinced myself that my uterus hasn't got any larger for the last 6 days, everything has remained the same tiredness, breathlessness, huge boobs etc. really tempted to get a doctors appointment but I think it is just me being neurotic and tired....

beaver33 Wed 21-Nov-12 10:42:38

Hi all, what a lovely new thread.

roast was literally shock at your post. I think your reaction tells you everything you need to know, quite frankly. Don't be bullied into doing 'the right thing' for the company. It has to be the right thing for you, and for your baby and family. In years to come, you won't regret spending more time with your child - but you will regret spending less time with him/her as a baby and more time at work.

As for working while you're on mat leave - be firm. You absolutely cannot commit to anything because you just don't know how you'll feel at the time. It's important for you and your stress levels that you deal with this whole situation head on and quickly - tell them you want to take XX months off, that the plan, however vague, is to return in XX and that you can't possibly commit to doing anything while off at the moment.

It's your right. Exercise it.

I know all this is easier said than done, and everyone's workplace is different with unique pressures and obligations. But this is such an important moment in your life and you need to feel relaxed, comfortable and under as little pressure as possible. Do yourself a favour and push everyone else's opinions and expectations to one side.

I'll be rooting for you! smile

SevenElvesAndAReindeer Wed 21-Nov-12 14:15:47

I'm starting a daily pelvic floor reminder, clench those muscles ladies!

roast another person here shocked by your boss angry.

I haven't checked in for a few days, I've been busy sorting things out for DDs birthday, she's 1 today.

Has anyone else had a previous fast labour? I'm a bit worried tbh. With DD my waters broke at 6am, went to hospital and they checked me out and decided I was showing no signs of labour. As I was under 37 weeks they wanted me to stay in for obs. DH left at 5pm so my mum (who had DS) could come for evening visiting. She left at 9 and I was having slight twinges. I was having strong contractions by 9.45, MW checked and I was 5cm. Rang DH who had to wait for mum to look after DS and was rushed off to delivery. DH arrived at 11, DD born at 11.15!

BeauticianNotMagician Wed 21-Nov-12 16:44:49

Hello everyone

I had a midwife appt today and got to hear the heartbeat and heard the baby moving around in there.I also got my results back from the blood test and my risk is 1:1600.

I mentioned to the midwife about wanting a c section.She booked me a consultant appointment but said she very much doubts I will be able to have s c section sad

BeauticianNotMagician Wed 21-Nov-12 18:42:03

roast Awful about your boss.I hope you aren't too worried about it and just do what's best for you.

I can't decide whether to leave my job sooner rather than later need to check my maternity pay rights first.I am self employed but work within someone's salon and she is just being a bit bitchy and I'm getting sick of it.

MooLL Wed 21-Nov-12 18:47:49

beautician sorry to be nosy (or if you have mentioned it before) but what is your reason for wanting a c(don't answer if you don't want to) - just surprised by her reaction as certainly the Nice guidelines would make it seem a lot more grey/judgemental and even if for psychological reasons they will now entertain it although ask you to go through therapy to try and overcome fears

I have also asked for c and seeing my consultant in 2 weeks but I think a combo of previous cat 1 emergency c, pre-eclampsia means she almost seemed relieved I didn't want a vbac .. Now to see if the consultant is so accommodating!

babygeek Wed 21-Nov-12 19:01:49

roast, I hope you are able to help educate your boss on maternity rights! When are you returning? When you're damn well ready! smile
I really hope it all works out for you and there is not too much stress.
Thanks for the reminder Seven, I am practicing as I type hehe.
kittykat that's a bummer about not being able to work on your favourite projects, hope you feel better from the cold soon.
Beautician yay for hearing the baby's heartbeat! I hope I get to hear mine at my appt with the midwife next week.
I am finally feeling like the ms nausea is almost gone and I generally have more energy although still doesn't take much to wear me out. I am loving my growing bump! I keep having to pat it grin

lollypopsicle Wed 21-Nov-12 19:48:18

beaut it must be really dependent on where you live as to whether you can get an elective c section. I know people who have had no problem. Very annoying that you get treated differently across the country.
roast sorry your boss is a nob. I think I've been really lucky in that respect. Was on a temp contract til Easter which was fine by me then just before my scan my boss offered me a permanent post. I then fessed up i was pg and turned it down. This week, he offered me a perm contract anyway. I warned him that I may take the full year and may only want to come back 2 days a week ( I do 3 currently) and he was ok with that too! Feeling pretty lucky that things have worked out so well and I get full maternity pay as well.

In other news, there's chickenpox going round in our school right now which caused my first panicked call to the midwife. Going to get a blood test done at docs to check immunity. May book the flu jab too. Not sure yet but as I seem to get every cold going round at the moment it might be wise to do so.


BeauticianNotMagician Wed 21-Nov-12 20:47:59

Lolly Sorry to hear about the chicken pox I know another mum on this thread had to look after her son who had it whilst we were all in the very early stages and she wasn't too concerned so I'm sure all will be fine.I have had the flu jab as I seem to suffer every Christmas.

Babygeek Hope you get to hear the heartbeat to.My midwife did inform me before she listened that she may not be able to find it this early and that if she couldn't no further action would be required as its perfectly normal not to hear it.She found it after a good 5 mins.

Mooll Don't mind you asking at all.I wanted a c section as ds1 was a forceps delivery and I was in agony afterwards and back in hospital a week later.Ds2 was a normal delivery but I went into shock and we both had an infection plus cord around his neck.I also labour really long and ds2 was a longer labour than ds1.So all in all I've just been really put off and I'm scared.

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