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November 2012 - arrivals are now underway

(1000 Posts)
StuntNun Thu 04-Oct-12 12:43:08

Previous ante-natal thread:

New post-natal thread for the graduates:

Iheartpasties Fri 05-Oct-12 12:12:29

thedetective oh no! will you have to retype it?

TheDetective Fri 05-Oct-12 12:12:49

What was the name of the midwife you saw Shelly?!

kissyfur Fri 05-Oct-12 12:17:05

Marking my place. Good news on the GT test results shanelle
Now to catch up on the rest of this thread!

Brockle Fri 05-Oct-12 12:24:31

I leave you for a day and you finished one thread and started another one!

Really need news about evil hopefully she is snuggling a newborn by now smile

Mum and Dad took me for a coffee today so I don't start talking to walls which was lovely but not used to so much caffeine so feel rather sick now.

I know I am a little late but that is bloody ridiculous detective. Its hard enough growing a baby for nine months, you shouldn't have to argue and fight for the birth you want.

Izzybuzzybuzzybees Fri 05-Oct-12 12:25:32

I have midwife next thurs so hoping I can tell her how bad I am. Gp offered to prescribe me morphine and I am tempted to go back and get it, that's how bad things are. She said it may make baby sleepy and that might mean id need to go get monitored occasionally as movements may seem lessened. I just don't kbwk what do!

ShellyBobbs Fri 05-Oct-12 12:28:13

Ill let you know later Detective, I've left my notes in the car and it's on the front and I'm not dressed and look like a right old hag.

Iheartpasties Fri 05-Oct-12 12:30:13

izzy oh dear - can you create a thread and ask other ladies if they have had to take morphine? sounds awful. The new baby will be worth it when they arrive.

TheDetective Fri 05-Oct-12 12:35:41

Here is my email.... to head of midwifery, chief exec and PALs CC'd in. Hope I didn't come across as a twat grin I thought I sounded fairly calm, and non hysterical?! I hope!


My name is TheDetective, and I am booked at XXXX for my maternity care. Unit number 000000, DOB XX/XX/XXXX. My EDD is 03/11/12

I am planning a home birth in the XXXXX area, under the community midwives. I informed XXXXXXX community midwife of my intention to have a home birth at my booking appointment at 5/40 gestation. I have reiterated this intention at every subsequent visit. I provided my written intention to home birth/ birth plan to XXXXXXX at 25/40. She passed this to a Supervisor of Midwives, XXXXXX, who subsequently visited me at home on 13/09/12. I have since had a visit for a home birth assessment from a community midwife - XXXXXXX on 04/10/12.

Throughout this time I have felt unsupported in my plan to home birth. I have been told that there may not be cover for a home birth when I go in to labour, or that the community midwives may be at another home birth and I would be required to attend hospital. I have informed both XXXXXXX, and
XXXXXX that if this is the case, I will not be attending hospital, and I require a Midwife to attend me at home. I have been informed that in this case an ambulance would be sent to me, and if I chose not to get in, that this is where your obligation to provide me maternity care ends.

I am appalled that your Midwives would consider that this is adequate maternity care. I am now at a point in my pregnancy where it seems I have to decide between putting myself in either the risky situation of being unattended in labour, or attending the labour ward, where I will be subject to midwives who will not be aware of my detailed birth plan, and doctors who will be able to enter my room at free will. As a woman who has had a previous traumatic delivery, resulting in emergency caesarean section, I require competent maternity care in a place that I will feel safe, respected, and in control of my own birth. For me, this can not happen with in the maternity unit, unless there are genuine obstetric complications. Staffing issues are not an obstetric complication, and should not be my concern. I should be able to ring when in labour, and access a home birth service.

I currently do not have faith in your services, and am deeply unhappy and distressed at what appears to be barriers to prevent me from birthing at home. At this late stage in my pregnancy it is not acceptable to have this level of stress and worry put upon myself by your Midwives. Staffing issues are a matter for you to deal with, not me. I require a response to the matter as urgent - I will be 37 weeks on 13/10/12.

Once again, I reiterate, I will not be attending hospital in labour, simply because of staffing issues. If a midwife is unable to attend me in labour, and something happens subsequently to either myself or my baby through lack of care provision, I will not hesitate to take appropriate action, and I hold you responsible for the failure to provide care.

I hope that this will not be the case, and I will be provided with my legal right to maternity care.

YellowWellies Fri 05-Oct-12 12:41:32

Kick ass Detective

TheDetective Fri 05-Oct-12 12:45:02

I'm never gonna get a job at that Trust, am I grin


ShellyBobbs Fri 05-Oct-12 12:50:55

hehehe, NEVER mess with a pregnant woman! Fantastic email detective.

ShellyBobbs Fri 05-Oct-12 12:55:50

Just had the complaints manager on, the practice manager is going to ring me when she speaks to the nurse who is in charge of organising the jabs. I've been told if they don't respond in a timely fashion then to get back to her and she'll also kick arse too smile

Iheartpasties Fri 05-Oct-12 12:56:12

thedetective bravo for sticking up for yourself.

applepieinthesky Fri 05-Oct-12 13:10:16

Great email detective. Good for you that you wont allow them to fob you off.

So tired today, I didn't make it to the NHS antenatal class. Laying on the sofa about to fall asleep.

ValiumQueen Fri 05-Oct-12 13:33:44

detective my personal view is that they do not seem to support your plans for a home birth at all due to your past traumatic delivery and, although I am no expert, do also share their concerns (because I love you dearly xxx ) I am guessing (hoping) that the staffing thing is something that they say to all expectant mums. If I were having a home birth, I would expect to be told the same, as if there were other mums in labour at home, just as if there are other mums in theatre, then someone would need to wait or go elsewhere. I would think in reality there is a good chance a midwife would be available, but they cannot guarantee it as they also need to cover the hospital unit (obviously you know this). I would think their response would be along the lines of 'get a private midwife then'. I hope you take my post in the way it is meant, but I wonder if your fear of birthing in hospital is clouding your judgement a wee bit. I don't want you to be disappointed, or stressed, I just want you and baby boy to be safe.

If however you feel they are treating you different to another mum in an identical situation, then kick ass!

ValiumQueen Fri 05-Oct-12 13:37:50

(bear in mind I am too scared to have another VB and would only be having the baby in a theatre, so coming from a completely different angle, yet similar in some ways too?)

YellowWellies Fri 05-Oct-12 13:42:24

I can see VQ's very well made point here too Detective - what would you want to happen if the community MWs were busy when you need them - presumably you wouldn't want a MW being removed from the mat unit where she is potentially already looking after 3 or 4+ labouring women to come to you would you?

I imagine they have to tell you what would happen in the worst case scenario (if the community MWs are busy with other births) - and that realistically would be, come in or do it alone - we're not going to hire someone just for you or remove MW from the wards to go to you if it leaves the hospital understaffed. They could put this in a much more sympathetic way however considering they are dealing with a heavily pregnant lady.

I guess resources are finite, and in this time of austerity more and more home-birthers are going to be told to get a private MW. Their current response totally undermines any reason why I would want to homebirth - i.e. having a nice relaxed experience and does come across as a threat, plain and simple - so I can totally understand how mad you are. BTW I'm not endorsing a private MW by any means (and hey who has the £xk you need to hire one!!!) a friend had one last year, who panicked when complications developed, refused to attend any further, called an ambulance - and has refused to refund any of the fee paid (foolishly in advance) to her. shock

Dixiebell Fri 05-Oct-12 14:09:11

VQ, I got called for jury service a few years back. I tried to get exempted for work reasons but in the end wasn't picked for final jury. But the judge was hardcore. It was going to be a long trial (actually the Glasgow airport bomb one it turned out), and there were people saying I'm supposed to be going on holiday to Australia with my family in a few weeks, all paid for, but they just got dismissed. I was disappointed as it would have been quite interesting, but work were pleased!

DonnaDoon Fri 05-Oct-12 14:26:04

I totally agree with VQ and I understand Detectives rights and anyone else a tad concerned that our only resident midwife is so against giving birth in hospital....? LOL

ValiumQueen Fri 05-Oct-12 14:26:34

Thankfully it is just the local court so unlikely to be anything too long-running. Hopefully. They may just look at him and say no thank you.

StuntNun Fri 05-Oct-12 15:22:34

But it's one thing saying to Detective that they have finite resources and there is a possibility that a midwife may not be available when she goes into labour. From the e-mail it sounds as if they are positively trying to discourage her from having a home birth.

OT but my mum is an ex-midwife and she was telling me yesterday that once she slapped a woman in labour because she had crossed her legs just after the head came out shock. Apparently the woman was in panic and hyperventilating and decided to try and stop the baby coming out so my mum slapped her at which point she uncrossed her legs again! Imagine explaining to your supervisor why your patient has finger marks on her face!

DesperateHousewife21 Fri 05-Oct-12 15:42:06

Went to the massive Primark that's opened near me recently but wasn't overly impressed.
I got two pairs of pjs for me, long sleeved with 3 buttons at the top so handy for breastfeeding, £8 each though.

Couldn't find any long sleeved bodysuits for baby, no muslins either. I did get her 2 pairs of leggings and 2 matching tops about £3.50 per pair so not too bad. There was a sweet little soft padded coat but even that was £7, I really dont expect to pay that in Primark, I dont know if Im just being unrealistic now though but I remember a few years ago it was dead cheap.

Some of the clothes though are such a rip off now, DH was looking at pjs, £10 each! Better off going somewhere like Next and paying a few quid more for much better quality tbh.

Finally ordered a couple of presents for DH from River Island but had to pay £6 express delivery to make sure they arrived in time!

horseylady Fri 05-Oct-12 15:50:46

Stunt I said I couldnt be a mw today. On so many levels. Cancer much easier!! No less emotive but I don't know. I could see myself not being very sympathetic to someone being a drama queen yet devastated at a still birth?! Sheep and lambs are easier to deliver!!

There's too much choice around, people get too fixated on the perfect birth, trying to out do one another on lack of pain relief. I agree that birth plans (ESP regimented ones) could turn the whole experience into something very traumatic. I appreciate that sometimes it probably just is, but I have no major plan. It's get the baby out safely, ideally with minimal intervention but in all honesty, get him out, keep us both alive. Then I'll be happy.

MadamGazelleIsMyMum Fri 05-Oct-12 15:56:38

Hello all. Detective I think that is a good email and hopefully you will get the outcome you want, but if the reality is that there isnt going to be anyone available, no matter how unfair that is, do you need to consider a contingency plan?

horseylady Fri 05-Oct-12 16:07:48

Bloody dh!!!! We had had two boxes full of effing socks. I pit them out to be recycled today. I've just arrived home to find the full god damned bag of socks in the hall way. No word of a lie, he bought 20 pairs of socks the other day, there's a drawer full of sock after I matched s load up. We do no need any more effing socks!!! I said go through them, see if there's any more you want if not they're going. Two weeks later, nothing was changed so they got bagged up!!!!

He us such a hoarder. He's got to sort out this clothes and books yet ..... And I'm in nesting mode......god help this house hold!!!

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