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graduates of the wine-and-shagging-after-mc thread come hither!

(1000 Posts)
wilderumpus Fri 28-Sep-12 19:25:49

Seeing as practically all of us have now got pg, here is a new home for all of us to come to carry on chatting after getting the BFP after our mcs. Today we are pregnant! smile

wilderumpus Tue 04-Dec-12 11:00:00

Yo one. do take that extra week. Having a mc is such a toll on your body, and obviously it is on your mind too. cosset yourself and if work are ok with it, why not? You won't regret it am sure. I hope you are ok, hving panic attacks is no fun. Do you have coping mechanisms? I had rescue remedy and breathing techniques to get me through mine after the mc. Does your OH know how you are doing, are you talking?

Arf yes my Ma is very controlling. I don't know what outcome she expected about the wedding, she basically said have the wedding she wants or she will never talk to me again. I think she wanted the big society wedding to show off to her friends rather than anything to do with me anyway. Which was depressing. If i tried to explain why we were having the private do instead she would just cut me off or put the phone down on me. So I never got to say my piece in the face of her enormous tantrum which made me so furious and powerless. Ah well, some people eh.

editing is going ok so far thanks! Is pretty quick work but, you know, you never know what is round the corner which makes me jumpy. Am quite excited truth be told, only 3 weeks left! woot!

Onemoreforgoodmeasure Tue 04-Dec-12 14:43:55

I'm nearly over the guilt at taking the extra week of leave. My only worry now is convincing a gp to give me a sick note! I'm well versed in how to manage a panic attack and it never gets as far as that now but it still catches my attention if on the periphery because it's my signal to myself that something's up.

I've joined the waiting to ttc thread rather than an mc thread as I do not feel or want to be in that place and am feeling all cheery and full steam ahead! I think I may just be one of those who has to try a lot before getting a lovely LO so I'm keen to get on with it all. My body is obliging, unlike last time, and I've resumed doing excercises. I hate sit ups but like holding my belly in and pretending I'm thin again so am going for it! What was this shredding you were all doing a while back, is there a dvd you recommend?

Families. I can at times really covet a close and supportive family where I feel really known, understood, valued, so I can sympathise with you a bit. My mother rang once, days after she received the news of this pregnancy, and she spoke about the food she was cooking. My father sent me a text saying "keep your chin up". My brother emailed a lot at the time as he had flu and was housebound but I haven't heard from him sicne he's got better. No one's asked about the surgery I was supposed to have or the A&E event I had instead. But as you say, some people. We have therefore to choose really good people to have around us instead.

How are you getting on with your plans to make christmas presents?

wilderumpus Tue 04-Dec-12 16:40:12

aw one, families indeed. am sorry they haven't been there for you more. Do you think they feel awkward about it, or of the thinking that 'this happens all the time so meh', or are they just a bit self-involved? I can't think too much about what i would like my family to be like because they evidence is all around me that families are doomed to fail... but I have a dream of three gangly, outspoken teenagers and their friends/OHs, a sunday lunch, a roaring fire, red wine, music (probably theirs) and two big dogs. And obviously DH mooching about somewhere, almost certainly with a laptop smile

I like your thinking about the waiting-to-ttc thread. I did find in the early days sometimes the paranoia about mc could be catching blush but like to retreat to their calm wisdom when I am freaking out (as i am wont to do).

Xmas presents are coming along! I am making a salt rub and a vinegar for my diabetic, veggie MIL and two lots of the dishwasher vodka for DSis and SIL... Me and DS will make bookmarks/tree decs for people too, which I will do on fridays with him when I don't work!

I have a scary feeling I MIGHT just get my PhD finished early... like, before christmas <runs away because I totally just jinxed myself and will therefore spend xmas day alone in my office in PhD hell>

take care one, congrats on your outstanding PMA.

Ps it is jillian michaels 30 day shred. do it, it HURTS smile

Onemoreforgoodmeasure Tue 04-Dec-12 21:08:12

I like your picture of a family scene Wild. And we can do things differently from what we experienced.

Your that salt rub sounds good. I'm always stupidly surprised at the things people can make, as if machines somehow have special abilities and were not designed by human hands!

You will most certainly NOT finish your PhD early. (has that helped?)

I will look up the shred and try to work out what "PMA" means! Have a good evening. And the rest of you too!

Sheldonella Wed 05-Dec-12 08:53:17

Morning! Sorry for the silence, I completely overdid it at the weekend shopping and then chopping down bushes and had to leave work sick. I have learned my lesson now blush I'm going out for a birthday lunch today if I can make it through the snow but certainly won't be walking lots. It is beautiful here today and I have been given a pair of comfy boots with fur inside which seems very appropriate. We picked up our pram yesterday too which is exciting smile

one how are you today? It is lovely to see you posting. I'm glad you have the panic attacks under control and are taking the time out. The waiting to TTC thread sounds a good idea. I had been thinking about this with my early scare and concluded I didn't want to go back to the mc board again if it happened. Sorry to hear about your family's reaction. The exercise is a great idea. Taking up running really helped me.

wilde I don't understand families. There has been a lot of no one speaking to each other in my family over the years. I'm glad your sister is still there for you. Your present making sounds excellent, especially the salt rub. Home made presents are the best. Ooh please relax over Xmas, but well done on being so close on the PhD. You will soon be Dr Wild smile

Hello to ice, boo and chuckle. Hope you are all looking after yourselves smile

booboomonster Wed 05-Dec-12 10:46:34


Good to hear update one, great idea to take off the time from work. That is what sick leave is for. Glad you are looking after yourself and getting fit and healthy, and to hear that you are feeling optimistic. Good idea about joining ttc thread - leave the history behind! Well done you for coping so well and being so positive - I am sure this helps with your recovery and moving on. Shred! yes not tried it but am tempted after wild's success (one to save for losing post baby flab, hopefully).

sorry you guys have rubbish family experience, one and wild, that makes me sad. I have close relationships with my immediate family, and it was always just the 5 of us (no grandparents - died when parents young, no cousins, one mentally disabled uncle, one uncle living abroad, no cousins, ). I think it was hard for my parents losing their parents young, but that was all over by the time I came along and for me it meant that we had a very close loving relationship with 'just us'. So, I think it is possible to build a family from scratch, as it were - I know it would be for different reasons, wild. The problem is you miss 'em when they are gone sad. Having said all that, we were/ still are quite a fiery household and have lots of arguments, but no one takes them very seriously... I suppose we are all quite easygoing. In fact, thinking about it, that is probably quite key in creating a successful family group! Like anything in life, if you are aware of the potential pitfalls, and you know why you are doing things, you'll do it well! Having said all that, I don't see my older bruv as much as I'd like as his wife is very close to her family and that takes priority - is a shame but I do kind of understand men are rubbish at planning stuff.

sheldon hope you are feeling ok! Exciting about pram arriving - I remember my first (and only) pram arriving and it was dead exciting! Have a nice lunch today - oooh snow! none here, can't decide if I want it (looks beautiful, christmassy) or not (hassle, bad memories).

My weekend was lovely! It was so christmassy, and relaxed, and we had gorgeous meals, lovely walks with wonderful views over the sea, a cinema trip, relaxed shopping trip, and a meander around ancient places. It was cool! It was really nice to just get away from the 24/7 demands of the kids (hate to say it, but true, and of course I missed them). I totally exhausted myself walking on Sunday but it didn't matter as there were no jobs to be done or demands being made! I recommend it! specially to ice who still sounds like she needs a break

Your pressie making sounds cool wild. My DH is taking the kids away for a weekend to see family in a couple of weeks so I am going to sit down and do a few things then. I'm thinking of decorating hairclips for the girls, making lavender bags (picked lavender over the summer, still in cellar), doing some mini watercolours of the kids, maybe starting a painting.... not sure what else yet - poss making truffles (eek!).

Hope everyone well. wild I have been following the May thread and there was such sad news on there this week. I am still not feeling big movements at all, but I think there is the odd shuffle. I can't wait for big kicks, please...

LittleMissSnowShine Wed 05-Dec-12 22:48:55

Hi girls - booboo just popped over to say hi on another thread so i thought i'd see if i.could find you again, some of you i.knew from ttc boards back at the start of the year and then.i was hanging out with you again in Aug / Sep after mmc. Anyway its taken a while but i got my.bfp at the weekend and im due in Aug so just wanted to share!!

I've had a wee read to catch up on all your news and theres been.plenty
going.on! So sorry to hear your news one and glad you are keeping ok and staying positive. Very exciting to hear some of you are feeling.kicks and.movement and lots of PhD completing and house related activity all
going on. Never a dull moment on wine & shagging thread, tho the vino has been swapped for Schloer lol

booboomonster Wed 05-Dec-12 23:36:20

Aw, snow good to hear from you - so glad about your bfp! Take it easy now - I think the first 12 weeks definitely the hardest, for me this time anyway! It goes pretty fast though - I'm nearly 18 weeks now and I can't believe that's nearly half way through! The worry doesn't stop... But c'est la vie!

Onemoreforgoodmeasure Thu 06-Dec-12 09:56:33

Congratulations Snow!

Boo your comment not that I have too much time on my hands led me to check out the May thread. That's very sad.

Sheldonella take care to get enough rest! And speaking of over doing it, where's Ice?

Waves to Wild.

wilderumpus Thu 06-Dec-12 10:09:02

hey peeps <waves> sorry not posting am a bit down in the dumps. Worried about pregnancy (for no reason, just wish I had some proper kicks etc and am getting paranoid about mmc) and work being awful.

want to say hello to one and wow congrats little I am SOOOO very happy for you smile Hope you come and join us more often now and share your pg experiences with us!

big love all, will be back when have time to read properly and chat like a nice normal person smile thanks

Onemoreforgoodmeasure Thu 06-Dec-12 10:15:27

Wild don't forget what you've often reminded us all, you can come here and be down in the dumps. What's happening? Here biscuit & brew.

Onemoreforgoodmeasure Thu 06-Dec-12 10:41:59

And of course you don't have to post. I hope you can get yourself a reassuring scan or heart beat appt.

wilderumpus Thu 06-Dec-12 11:03:43

am just feeling really blue one! I think it might be hormones because I can't pinpoint why. Have sort of convinced myself I have had a mmc and so I think I will go to the drop-in at the MW clinic on Tues for a listen in. Am completely stressed out about the scan in 3 weeks, that feels like a very long time to wait when I am not really feeling any kicks. DS is coming and DH is so excited about finding out the gender and I feel like a fraud. Am also probably suffering from not leaving the house. My dodgy placenta means really cannot go out in the ice, I was buggered after my walk on Monday - bad back, bump ache, bleeding. This makes me feel like I am just tucked in a house with no friends to visit, just work.

Am just blue, I will be fine. Sorry to be so whiny, I know i am so lucky and shoule just relax and be happy. A good weekend will cheer me up am sure. And finishing this PhD! Am sooooo sick of going over the same ground again and again. Will it ever end?!! hmm thanks for the brew and biccies smile

wilderumpus Thu 06-Dec-12 11:23:04

arf, I just felt a dull thump that was most certainly not bowel related... Gosh. Not felt that before was quite a thwunk. well, I should stop worrying now for a bit then. won't tho as I am pathologically paranoid

I hope you are ok one. Am sorry to whine on at you, poor thing. Am fine, really. I think work is getting me down a bit which is silly as I am working very hard, I can't do more than that.

Am eating a lot of coco pops atm. Have put on over a lb in the last week which is quite frightening, my first weight gain in a couple of months but tbh I can't stop eating in the evenings. Are you like this boo?

sorry, will read back thru posts later and reply properly.

Onemoreforgoodmeasure Thu 06-Dec-12 11:51:13

It's hard waiting, I hope you do to go the clinic on Tuesday, wonderful that they have a drop in service! The hormones are awful but it sounds like your LO noticed you were in need of some reassurance, a thump/thwunk, fantastic! And Cocopops are a holiday treat for my very adult OH, mmm. Take it easy Wild, you have a lot going on on top of the pregnancy, don't try to force your moods, it's not nice to feel blue but sometimes we just do. It'll pass in its own time.

icequeenkate Thu 06-Dec-12 12:43:45

Ladies! Hello from the land of vomit, vomit and yet more vomit that has been my house for the last week...

wilde - cold drinks and/or chocolate will help LO to move. I didn't feel much movement this time round til about 21 weeks due to anterior placenta, which my LO buried himself in on Monday when the mw was trying to listen in and couldn't find a hb...(at 33 wks!). Luckily we could see the kicks and bottom heaving up to the sky as he buried himself, so were able to laugh about it. Sorry, but it would appear the worrying never ceases. wan smile

one - hello, and good to hear from you. I'm liking your plan for fitness - physical and mental. I intend to take a leaf from your book. Might start shredding in the new year as I believe it can be done from home? I'm also going to do this starve/eat diet thingy - have you heard of it? You choose 2 days a week to 'starve', limiting your calorie intake to around 650, but the other days you can eat whatever you like. Lots of my friends and their OHs have started it together and the results are amazing; they've lost a bit of weight (mainly getting back to pre-pg levels rather than dropping stones) and feel so much better, less lethargic, better skin etc. Won't be able to do it til I've stopped bfeeding, but not sure how long I'll do that for either. Am not very good at it. Keep getting mastitis and end up ill - not good for me or new baby, or other kids, or anyone come to think of it. confused

The weather isn't good down here - remnants of melted snow mean sheet ice everywhere. Went skidding in the playground this morning! Know what you mean about cabin fever wilde - similar here, but I do have a 4x4 chelsea tractor type vehicle so manage to get out and about in that. Haven't been out the house since Sunday evening until this morning due to DS3 and winter vomit virus. Poor thing has been really poorly and miserable, sleeping all time etc. Ate tea last night, and breakfast this morning - not reappeared yet, so that's a good sign.

littlemiss woo hoo for your bfp! Was thinking of you just the other day. congrats and fx for this one. flowers

boo what a fab weekend you had! How wonderful - envy grin

sheldon - how's the knitting going? I finished the cardigan I was doing for LO as have had to spend lots of time cuddling DS3. Managed to patch up the holes he'd cut in it!! Looks fairly respectable, but then DS1 asked why I'd made it in a 'dirty colour' - was it so the poo would blend in. Thanks a bunch, darling!hmm

Right - lunch time.... starving!

Sheldonella Thu 06-Dec-12 14:10:02

Hi everyone. Birthday was good - went to Jamie's Italian and had some lovely food and a virgin cocktail. I have just had to venture out to the post office today and it is absolutely freezing. Brrrr.

I don't know if it is caused by all the walking around but I'm feeling some uncomfortable downward pressure. There is no pain with it but does it sound like something I should worry about? I'm 26+5.

Congrats snow, what lovely news for christmas. How are you feeling?

one Good luck with the shredding. I really wish I had tried it and probably will sometime next year.

Your weekend sounds like it was gorgeous boo I'm glad you had a good time.

ice Yuk to the vomit bug, that sounds horrible! Hope it is on the way out and no one else gets it. I haven't knitted for a couple of weeks but have a few days off so hope to get some more of my blanket squares done. Good that you managed to patch up the holes. I love the comment from your DS, kids say such funny things smile

Sorry to hear you are feeling down wilde. The worry doesn't go away does it. I'm glad you have felt something now. I felt tiny movements from early on but nothing solid and regular for a while. I have found that a sugary drink and lying down on my back gets them going but I guess it depends where the placenta is. Definitely go to your mw for reassurance though - completely worth it for your peace of mind. The ice keeping you in and work to do must be stressful but once it is done I hope you get lots of rest. Have some brew Hopefully your scan wait won't seem too long with all christmassy things going on and then you will know you have a DS/DD to look forward to.

wilderumpus Thu 06-Dec-12 16:11:57

ice poor you with the sick bug! I hope no-one else gets it, including you. are you getting any down time at the mo? And don't go skidding!

sheldon am so pleased you had a lovely beeday, and jamie oliver eh?! What was it like, is it amazingly lovely? I wouldn't worry about the pressure unless it becomes too much, it's probably just the baby chilling out down that way. I get it too, which i have realised today might be why I have had so few kicks so far, I think this one like to have out at the back. i sometimes out of nowhere get a relly odd achy pressure in my lower back too which I think might be the baby (or am I madto think that?!) I hope you are taking it easier now?

Thanks for being there this morning one and for your positive comments peeps. I am more cheery now; I have finished the chapter from hell so am halfway through editing (yay) and have had three wonderful taps from the baby. I hope i get more, just one a day would be ok, so I can stop worrying. The worrying is seriously crackers - I just cannot talk myself out of it.

Anyway. I am going to pick up DS, my first walk out since monday and I am looking forward to feeling fresh air on my face, even tho it is raining!

wilderumpus Thu 06-Dec-12 16:12:31

ice meant to say poor you dealing with the vom but in particular your poor DS. it is awful seeing them like that isn't it. thanks

Onemoreforgoodmeasure Thu 06-Dec-12 17:22:41

Ooh Ice your poor dc, have you managed to stay well?

Happy Birthday Sheldonella! I didn't realise. It sounds like you had a great time. I love Jamie Olivers.

Wild fantastic on getting the Chapter Of Hell out of the way. Hope the fresh air was slip-free and a literal breath of fresh air.

Guys, only on the planet that's called "One's body is healing really quickly, as she thinks it is, and things are returning to normal" or Planet Obihrqastiiatartn, as I like to call it, would I be building up to ovulation right now, right? It's been 9 days since I started bleeding and I've had the old familiar ovary ache today, which I would normally get for 2 or 3 days prior to a positive opk, so the timing would be right if things were normal. I'm not going to test since it would show a positive if I still had pg hormones floating around and it's most likely not ovulation but some wtf cycle thing, but it is very weird. I hope my body is bouncing back. We're not going to act on it but I would be so happy to be back in the game.

(And I just realised talking about myself in the 3rd person makes me sound like the Queen blush)

booboomonster Thu 06-Dec-12 17:53:51

oh wild I am worrying too. It's this in between time when you are pre the big kicks. Hopefully we only have a few weeks to wait and we will be a) reassured by good scans and b) getting kicked black and blue! Have you got your scan date yet? Sorry you are feeling miserable. I can imagine how depressing it must be staying in all the time. Can you drive places and have minimal walking? Obviously you'll want to adhere to the medical advice, but I would find it really hard. Can you get some mail order DVDs or something 'nice' so that you have little treats at home? I can imagine the monotony of the editing is also not good for creating any change of scene! You are on the home stretch for that, at least!

ice yes I quite fancy the starvation diet (I haven't heard it called that before but now I can't recall what it is called - is it 2/5 days or something?!?). I did do a test week before I got pg but was nervous as I didn't want my system to have a shock whilst ttc. I also might try shred - I know wild did it at home. I am planning various exercise programs already, and hoping to join a gym with creche once baby is 6 months or so (all being well...). Poor you with sick bug - horrid! Really hope you don't pick it up.

Glad you had a good birthday sheldon - I don't think I said it - so Happy Birthday! thanks and biscuit in lieu of cake grin.
Pressure sounds normal to me - as you get bigger you definitely get more pressure down below. Is it very uncomfy? I'd say keep an eye on it and if it's gets at all painful, go to see midwife.

Be careful everyone on ice! 3 years ago when I was pregnant with DD2 I fell off my bike after skidding on ice - I was going very slowly and it was almost like it was slow motion. Luckily I was fine (and so was baby) but I felt a bit of an idiot. In fact, its the only time I've fallen off my bike (touch wood) and it didn't stop me cycling! me and my bike are surgically attached

Oh and wild no not particularly hungry in the evening - but I was very hungry first tri and I have (I am sure) put on a fair bit of weight. So I am trying to use the current lack of symptoms (nervous) to eat normally as poss. Hard though!

wilderumpus Thu 06-Dec-12 18:24:55

mmm one you could indeed be gearing up to ovulate. Do you have any other fertile signs? Are you giving this month a miss to make sure all is back in working order so to speak?! I ov'ed when I still had a teeny BFP btw, and I think ice did too (and got pg!)? I hope this cycle is straightforward for you! will you do a pg test to get the lovely BFN?

ice I would really worry about anyone doing that weird 'diet'. It is actually a form of restricted eating that anorexics do. It very easily leads to disordered eating, obsessive thinking about 'I must not eat or I will be bad' and, apart from the evil psychology of it, makes you incredibly tired, sick, snappy and weepy. Not eating (romantically called 'fasting') is a terrible thing to do to yourself! As someone who has suffered from an eating disorder which included days of very restricted calorie intake I would be so very sad if anyone I knew started eating like this. Anyway, your body, your life, I know and I won't say owt about it again smile

Personally I will BF on demand until this baby is at least one, then start training for a triathlon smile I am not sure if I will worry about weight/exercise before that. I might shred... but from my experience with DS I wasn't that great at exercise for the first 6 months after his birth (was, ahem, a bit knackered downstairs, pelvic floor felt weird when I ran and my tummy muscles had separated!) and with BFing so much I was starving and just lost weight through that - and walking. Lots of lovely walking.

Shredding, btw, is solely from an exercise dvd by jillian michaels smile so you definitely do it at home!

oh boo it was so very sad about the May board. am so gutted for her.

Arf I don't have a car. Dh takes it to work. I love walking and normally walk everywhere. I LOVED my walk in the cold rain and felt better before I had even got back. Tomorrow we are going for a long walk, but it will be on the flat, with a stop off at soft play for DS and if I go slowly it should be ok. I think it is soooo important to be mobile as much as possible, great for backs, great for the mind, great for metabolism. Just great.

got to go and play racing cars apparently smile

booboomonster Thu 06-Dec-12 18:41:47

one it took me so long to write my post that I missed yours. Yay for ovulation and normality resuming. I have to say that when I was tracking my ovulation etc it did all rather feel like it was being run by someone/thing? else, rather than my good self, so I think 3rd person is rather an appropriate reference! Do you have a ttc 'plan'? (other than just starting straight away).

wild I would miss walking and getting about a lot too. A slow, flat walk sounds like a good idea - yes agree about mobility. I know what you mean about the diet but there is a lot of good research about it. I am sure it's not a good idea to do if you have suffered in the past from an eating disorder. But it is followed by a lot of medical professionals. There was a horizon programme about it a few months ago - which, I think ice is available on youtube if you want to check it out.

Triathlon training sounds good - I have done one before & enjoyed. It's good to have a goal too... hmm (fantasises about being fit again..).

Yes the May board news was very very sad. I am not posting there - just lurking which sounds awful but it's more that I don't feel I can keep up with posts and my posts will be inane and irrelevant by the time I get chance. But I did want to post a supportive message but it would sound a bit odd coming from a total stranger.

LittleMissSnowShine Fri 07-Dec-12 07:42:39

boo - i love cycling too but i dont do it when im pg, too nervous about taking a fall. I never normally fall off so dont know why i think i'd be more likely to just cos im pg but feel a bit like i'd be tempting fate with my innate clumsiness!!

ice - I used to be a big fan of weight watchers, still make some of the recipes (butternut squash, cherry tomato & spinach lasagne with feta & chilli pesto anyone??) its not the fastest way to lose weight but all the extra fruit and veg makes you feel great and the weight tends to stay off. Kinda! Better than starving tho!!

wilde - impressed with yourvtriathalon.plans. Since i'll pnly be due inAug next year i think my fitness plans are going on hold til 2014 and i'm going to habe to start.back at the beginning with couch to 5k programme but i'd love to build up to a 10k and then maybe a duathalon. NI is too cold for open water swimming (for me!!) off to pool with DS this morn tho...then prob chips after lolol

one - really hope your body is getting back in.sync again for you. It took so long for me after ERPC in summer and i only got proper AF again after i started taking agnus castus but it was a great feeling to finally get a proper cycle.back in October and I got pg the cycle after. So really hope this is you healing and ready to try new year.

Right..porridge time!!

Onemoreforgoodmeasure Fri 07-Dec-12 18:12:32

Had my check up this morning and final scan this time around. It's definitely loads better than last time. Scan was uneccessary but it was nice to have proof of how I feel. Having said that I did cry at the Boots Christmas advert - an all time low?! I also went to the gp this afternoon, he wanted to sign me off until Christmas! shock I have to say I'm tempted. I really want to heal properly. I am bored and at times lonely but at the same time, if it weren't for the work environment I would have returned this week, so I have a question of conscience to answer! And Wild I'm just about to take the pg test, have been waitng all afternoon, apparently I've suddenly dried up now that I have the tests to hand!

Little I love porridge, thanks for the reminder, I'll have some tomorrow!

OMG Ice that dish sounds amazing!

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