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Anyone else pregnant after a first miscarriage?

(13 Posts)
googietheegg Wed 14-Sep-11 09:36:27

Because I am and I'm trying not to be terrified! Lost baby number one in June at 10 weeks with a MMC, and now just found out I'm pregnant again - just five weeks. I'm trying not to think about it too much in case anything happens again, and we've not told anyone (my parents were totally unsupportive last time).

Ktay Wed 14-Sep-11 10:02:35

Congratulations! I had a MMC in March and am now 20 weeks with a very healthy-looking DD2. (Unfortunately I have placenta praevia but let's gloss over that...)

It's probably inevitable that you will be anxious during the first trimester. I was an absolute wreck going into my dating scan as I'd had a very smooth, symptom-free pregnancy and then some bleeding at 11 weeks. But happily all was well.

I wasn't offered a reassurance scan but it would be worth asking your midwife or GP in case your hospital's policy is different. Take it easy and I hope you have good news in a few weeks' time - the odds should be in your favour. And I hope your parents are more supportive this time around.

Ktay Wed 14-Sep-11 10:05:30

PS you might have seen there's a 'pregnancy after miscarriage' thread on here as well. I didn't join in but I'm sure you will find lots of support there from people going through the same worries as you.

googietheegg Wed 14-Sep-11 10:24:21

Yay ktay! Well done you! The other thread was v v long, but I'll check it out and pop on the end.
Good to hear your positive story - it's hard to know whether to plan anything in case it happens again, so I'm basically getting on as normal sans booze!

Hils74 Fri 16-Sep-11 19:12:28

googie congrats!

I had a mc in Feb and got pg again in Mar, now 32 wks and all going ok. I found this thread very good for advice and worries...

Fx everything works out for you

googietheegg Sat 17-Sep-11 16:02:23

Hils thank you so much - and congratulations! How have you stayed calm? And when did you tell people? I've joined the freakout room too - perfect!

CheshireDing Sat 17-Sep-11 20:56:59

googie I had a mc in September last year at about 9 weeks, DH and I knew straight away I was pregnant as we had decided when we were going to start TTC and it never even crossed my mind that we would be a couple who would mc. It was a total shock to be bleeding after our GP just said at first that some ladies bleed all through pregnancy and not to panic. Anyway it was not to be and we were told the baby had just stopped growing.

I am not particularly maternal but the hormones made we feel very confused and upset, even thinking random things such as "we are good people, we don't take drugs, why did it happen to us, why can WAGS get pregnant loads of times etc etc" - told you it was a bit random!

We started TTC again in the new year and our firs baby is due in less than a monthsmile I spent many months constantly checking my underwear and then waiting for each of the scans seemed to be forever before we could tell anyone, we also have a Doppler so at least I can check on it when I need to because you don't have many scans. We had an NT scan too which was nice to have those extra checks.

In conclusion think mc are actually quite common and I wish you luck with your pregnancy smile

googietheegg Sun 18-Sep-11 20:20:28

cheshire thank you so much for sharing that - I really appreciate knowing that you had the same type of thoughts as me! I get a bit upset seeing/hearing people talking horribly to their babies, or looking like they don't really care about themselves when I did everything right and lost our baby. Mean and unfair I know.
Congratulations! Only one month to go - that's fabulous! When did you tell people in the end? We're going to a wedding in two weeks and will then visit my MIL, so I don;t know how to not say anything as I've not seen her since the mmc and she's tried so hard to be supportive. I also don't know when to go to the doctor or the gyne that I had for the mmc - part of me wants to wait until 12 weeks before telling anyone or doing anything!

CheshireDing Mon 19-Sep-11 19:13:24

To be honest it felt like forever but we didn't tell ANYONE until we had had both our scans. We had to tell my GP so she could book the NHS scan but that's it, I did feel a bit neurotic telling the GP so early on but I figured if I had another mc at least it would be logged on my records.

We had the 12 week NHS scan and then the NT scan and results and then told people. We just thought that we had waited so long anyway we might as well wait a bit longer and get both sets of results.

Don't get me wrong from January to March before we told anyone felt like an eternity but it just made us feel happier to do it that way because we told them by texting a scan picture and just saying "Baby CheshireDing due blah date" so it was just a nice big surprise.

I wouldn't worry about your Parents not being supportive really, you have to look after you, baby and your Partner. That's plenty to be going on with. They might come round in the end but either way you are bound to worry about the baby without filling your head with Parent issues too! smile

I would suggest joining the Mumsnet Ante Natal Club for your babies birth month too, it's been really good because I just pop on and say "oh this is happening" or "what about this" and you find everyone is going through the same random cramps/stretchings etc just a few weeks either side! There are first time Mums on there and ladies who are already Mums so everyone shares their thoughts and suggestions, I have found our October baby bus brilliant. I would highly recommend the Ante Natal section smile

googietheegg Wed 21-Sep-11 16:49:58

Thanks cheshire - good advice. I'll add myself on to the May club.

I still don't know whether to tell my mil in a couple of weeks as we're going to stay and it will be impossible not to drink the whole week without eyebrows raised. She could also do with some good news and I'd like to share it with her. I don't think the whole 'nice big surprise' thing would work with my family unfortunately, but it sounds like a lovely way to tell people.

When did you start feeling 'relaxed' about your pregnancy?

CheshireDing Mon 26-Sep-11 04:46:58

Ha, I don't think I ever felt relaxed Googie, I was constantly checking my underwear (lovely!) for the first few months.

I probably only chilled out after our 20 week scan, I would say the second trimester has been the easiest, we went on holiday, we had had 3 scans by then and my bump was still a reasonable size and i had stopped feeling sick. Now it's front heavy, in the way and I am really having to fudge my non-maternity clothes for work, also started to feel sick again - apparently that's due to lack of space for your stomach or something.

I did have to blag the not drinking wine for a bit at the beginning but DH just told his family I was on some antibiotics or something and another time I just drove to the place so that was an easiest enough excuse. I'd go with "have started getting funny migraines so am on some tablets from the GP" or similar if I was you.

It's definitely a hard thing to relax over but each time you get to a scan milestone and see little feet or eyes it will be worth it. Wishing you luck for your May baby smile

BlueCrane Tue 04-Oct-11 09:55:33

Morning googie think I recognise your name from one of the MC boards...I had an MMC in late May and am now 6 weeks pregnant due 31st May 2012! Think our dates are quite close! I am flitting between feeling v chilled and relaxed and totally the opposite! EG yesterday felt v tired and nauseous, today feel ok so now asking why am I everything alright etc etc! We have been able to get an early scan booked with NHS which will be when I am 8+2 in a couple of weeks time though DH and I are both dreading it as last time we were in a scan room was when we found out about the MMC! Would recommend going to the docs so that you can see if you can get one. We've told both sets of parents and a couple of close friends but mainly because we know that if we MC again we'll need the support and don't just want to ring them with bad news! We'll wait until at least after the 8 week scan, probably the 12 week one before telling anyone else, though I am going to stay with my best friend in a couple of weeks so may end up telling her then. Hang in there! Feel free to chat nice to have a May buddy who's been through a similar thing...

HappyAnnie Tue 04-Oct-11 19:41:59

Hi I miscarried at 12 weeks in August 2011, (complete shock and too emotionally painful for words) hoping that im now pregnant again. I am a BabyCalm teacher and after my loss I would like to specialise in miscarriage survival antinatal classes, and then a 4 week course when baby is born, just for us miscarriage survivers on just how to have calmer babies and happier parents. Is this helpful or is it a bad idea. I just feel more vulnerable and raw, I have not told many people what happened but the reaction is alsways that they just dont know what to say. I mean before you experience it its just a word. I know how I feel and I want to help make pregnancy and the early weeks a positive experience. Give me imput ladies, what a truely wonderful experience it is to be pregnant. Congrats to all who are, hopefully me included:-)

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