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(994 Posts)
Biscuitsandtea Sun 07-Aug-11 14:36:48


I thought I'd start a Grads thread for those of us previously on the TTC 6 mths+ thread. I've been lurking on the ttc thread recently to see how everyone is getting on (having only very recently qualified to move off it!) and a few people were saying what a nice idea it would be if there was a grads thread so we don't lose each other.

Anyway, would be lovely to hear from other lovely ladies that were on that thread - or even if you were never on the ttc thread but had a sticky time of it getting your bfp then come and settle down with a decaf cuppa for a chat.

<lays out some freshly baked goodies to tempt people in>

Heart7 Mon 18-Feb-13 13:34:18

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Eletheomel Mon 18-Feb-13 20:32:30

Hi heart i bought the natal hypnotherapy book and cd. Not listened to the Cd yet (need to get into mp3 format so I can play it on my ipod and not got round to it yet - will need to make myself do it as I'm rubbish at getting organised and can imagine the cd sitting in its unopened wrapper until after the birth!)

I'm not really a 'get with the woo' person, but trying to get myself into some positive thinking for this birth so figured it would help, i found the book okay, even though I'm not a 'visualisation' kind of person, and I've not practiced yet either, but I do plan on giving it a go, apparently the courses are really good (hypnobirthing and hypnotherapy). From what I've read there's not that much between both systems, just a change of name so that folk can make money :-)

I was off today as I was on the rota to help out at my son's playgroup - I tell you, it was way more tiring than my normal desk-based job! I'm tired at the best of times these days, and being on my feet for 3 hours was hard (was bloody hungry afterwards too) but glad I went, nice to see how the sessions are structured and laid out. My son is a bit shy so he's not good at joining in games played by other kids or introducing himself, but he knows some of the kids there, so I'm hoping that will come, but I was always a bit shy myself when I was younger, so maybe he'll always need a bit of coaxing.

I'm 26 weeks tommorow so just 2 weeks to go before my next scan - am mulling over taking my son along so he can see the baby on the screen, but not sure how good the view will be, and I don't want him getting confused, will need to give it some thought (looking forward to seeing baby myself though :-)

stacks I used cheeky wipes with my son as we went to cloth nappies when he was about 2 months old and hope to do the same this time - they are fab and are much much better at removing baby poo from bottoms than babywipes (which often seem to just smear it around rather than actually take it off). Glad you're getting smiles from Thomas now - it's magical isn't it? Although I always remember my son smiled at my DH weeks before he would smile at me - i took it quite personally :-)

Hope everyone else had good weekends and are doing well!

ArtemisTheHunter Tue 19-Feb-13 09:32:06

Morning all

Hope the sun's shining where you are! It's out here and makes such a difference even though it's still freezing. I must apologise too for contributing to the tumbleweed drifting through the thread lately. No real reason, just been very busy with work and trying to limit my non-work internet time. Clearly failed at that this morning though smile

Ladygee you will be a lady of leisure by now! How is maternity leave? Hope the last week at work and the London presentation went well.

Heart I've been looking into hypnobirthing too, in a tentative don't-want-to-go-there-yet kinda way. I am not usually remotely woo (apart from acupuncture) but have heard a lot of good reports. A friend of Mr A was raving about it to him last week so it was him that suggested it. There is a lady who teaches it about 40 minutes away, she's also a qualified midwife so i'm going to contact her and find out about courses, though I've no idea when you're actually meant to start thinking about antenatal classes.

Princess great to hear about progress with the house though you must both be shattered. I had a similar experience to you in the IKEA car park in my hired van - no damage, but I got stuck and blocked up the entire one-way system in the car park and had about 6 orange-clad IKEA employees doing the 'left hand down a bit' thing trying to talk me out (in a very knowledgeable way for people whose bumfluff-covered acne suggested they might not actually be old enough to drive yet) while all the queueing men in their BMWs and mercs stared and beeped and swore about bloody women drivers. Very blush. How are you doing with finding cover for your mat leave? I'm amazed you had so few apps for the job. You'd have had hundreds up here.

Stacks Thomas sounds gorgeous, how cute that he's started chuckling smile

MrsM great news on finding a house and starting to get settled! And good that you haven't had any hassle getting into the NHS system. Hopefully all will be plain sailing from now on.

AFM I feel in a bit of a pregnancy no-man's land at the moment. 15 weeks, don't look pregnant (just look like I've piled on some a lot of fat), can't feel anything moving yet, no proper bump, could easily imagine the baby has simply disappeared (or, paranoid imagination, stopped growing completely confused). On the plus side I'm less weak and tired than I have been. 5 weeks until the next scan feels like a lifetime. Please tell me it gets better! Many of my clothes are now too tight but I'm not really ready for maternity clothes so am reliant on the same few things and don't really know what to buy. I wish I could hide out at home in my pyjamas for a couple of weeks.

On the subject of maternity clothes, Eleth I'm the same height as you, have you any recommendations for maternity wear for taller girls? I've looked online but a lot of places don't seem to do longer lengths and I don't want to spend the next 6 months with my trouser hems flapping round my ankles!

In other news, the roof is still leaking (sigh) and I am none the wiser after 3 quotes that all gave a different diagnosis and varied by over £3000 in the estimated cost of repairs confused. Now I have discovered the shower is also leaking somewhere under the flooring where I can't get to (ffs) so have to sort out builders and quotes stuff I REALLY don't want to be dealing with at the moment. And avoiding my mother... I will not go off on a rant about my mother at the moment, she means well, but... grr.

Best go do some work. Waves to everyone, hope you are all well smile

princesschick Tue 19-Feb-13 09:44:36

Morning all smile

Stacks nice to "see" you! Glad everything is going so well with little T. Thanks for the tip about the H20 wipes, I got a pack in my mamapack and I already have them on my hospital bag list. Good to have some validation!

Heart I'm doing a hypnobirthing course. We got given the Marie Mongan hypnobirthing book at our taster sesh if we signed up to the course. I've read it and I like the sentiment. We're lucky with the lady, her ex bought hypnobirthing to the UK - so they've been really into it for the last 15 years and have loads of experience teaching it. To me, it's not really all that woo....apart from some of the actual practices (rainbow meditation anyone?!) but then that's why I've opted to do the course because as with everything there are many ways to skin a cat and we'll be given alternatives. I also know 2 friends who've done it and have both had easy, short, tear free births. I'm not full on woo either - I just like the idea of things in their natural state but completely embrace science and medicine when needed. I also really like that when we talked about birth plans with the hypnobirthing practitioner - she stopped me and said, "we call them birth preferences". That way there is no pressure if you feel your "plan" hasn't gone to "plan" IYSWIM? So, if you need a caesarian for example, there are lots of breathing techniques to stay calm and feel in control or if you need drugs during labour, you can be confident that you tried your best at the breathing but sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. It's about being empowered and delivery your baby, not the delivery being taken on by the medical staff. Anyway, we'll see how much I'm won over in a few months' time when mini Princess is here! I start the course 2 weeks time - it's 4 x 3 hour sessions. I'm really looking forward to it. However, I really can't believe how quickly time is flying! March seemed like ages ago when I booked it! Eeek!

I too have the days when everyone gets right on my tits. I tend to find they are days when I need more sleep or if mini princess is having a growth spurt and is very quiet. I've been sleeping loads at the weekends and getting earlier nights and I'm definitely feeling better for it.

MrsM Great news that you have found somewhere and are now moving in! You must be sooooo relieved!

Ele how annoying about your hospital being so slack. I'd be really annoyed too. Glad it's all sorted out now. I don't know how you managed at your son's nursery - I find sitting at a desk all day and a trip to the supermarket knackering as it is!

Ladygee hope all is well with you. Have you finished work now or is this your last week?

So, the kitchen is proving to be a little bit of a nightmare. The designer was lovely and helpful and came up with an "easy" solution - so I was super relieved and thought - onward! Then I spoke to the installation guys yesterday and when they looked at the plans, they declared the "easy" solution unworkable and will point blank refuse to instal it. The designer also told a couple of porkies, which I pulled him up on (in the nicest of ways) so my confidence is starting to wain again sigh. Anyway, we have the fitter down tomorrow after work to talk it through and there would seem to be solutions, but we'll need to have a rethink on the sink. The good news is that they are speedy and that I've sourced some bits elsewhere, which they'll fit and will actually cost less money than Ikea were proposing.

In other news, the floor is in! The floor is in! This is very exciting news because it's the last big building job done. We're on the home straight now. I'm not putting pressure on Mr P for a moving in date because he is so tired and working so hard, it doesn't seem fair to pile any more stress on. I think I've been hard on him as it stands.

Waves to all, including any newly diffed lurkers - yes you euro and doll wink - come dip your toes if you like smile

On with the day! x

princesschick Tue 19-Feb-13 10:04:16

X post Artemis oh sorry about the house woes - I get those completely. The only woe we haven't had (grasps out hand to touch a piece of wood) is the roof, which is over 100 years old and seems to be in fine shape. But everything else has been problematic. My only advice would be to check out your trades on - and look for people with lots of reviews. We've had good experiences with everyone selected in this way. Bad experiences have been the friends of friends and people found randomly on the web.

As for pregnancy limbo, this is exactly how I felt around 15 weeks, although I was still suffering from morning sickness - so I did have that "comfort". And then, I felt movement at 16 weeks - tiny pops and bubbles to start with (it will depend where your placenta is - mine is at the back) and now full on drop kicks at any given time or full on raving. It all started going much faster from 15 / 16 weeks i.e. from not feeling pregnant at all and feeling like I was faking it to feeling full on pregnant from about 17/18 weeks with the emerging bump and movement.

I'm a bit of a shorty (5'5") but my Asos maternity skinny jeans have serviced me very very well from 10 weeks and still have room in them now at 24 weeks. I have 3 pairs similar to these. They are a 30" leg, so probably too short for you but I've got a feeling that Topshop do some similar in longer lengths too. I like them because they are not obviously maternity jeans with the pocket stretch panel in them rather than the over bump fabric thing. Also, I have a couple of dresses and thick, thick tights from Mothercare, which I got during my flabby rather than bumpy phase. These look nice and feel comfy even when there's not much bump to speak of. The only thing I made a bit of mistake with was getting dresses in a size up, which were massive and still on the big side now, but they'll do me through spring and summer and they are floral dresses so not for the cold weather now anyway. FWIW, I'm getting massive - I suddenly ballooned over the weekend - Mr Princess said it was very noticeable! Bump is here - out and proud. The rest of me is not much different in size and I'm still getting away with baggy jumpers and tees from last year (in fact, I've only put on 10lbs, which I was quite surprised about given my new form). My coat also just about does up and I don't think I'll need to buy a new one - phew - as I could really do without anymore costs at the moment!

Right, really, back to work. Although I think I'll make a cup of tea first!

Eletheomel Tue 19-Feb-13 15:50:50

hello everyone :-)

art totally sympathise with the workmen/house crap woes - we extended our house before DS was born and after having to sack our builders for being crap, had that whole nightmare of trying to get replacement workmen in to do stuff. We would guess what we thought it would cost then decide what we'd be prepared to pay (neither of us are tradesman) and then see if the folk we asked came within our ballpark. Fortunately, we did okay with everyone apart from the original builders who were total cowboys. Our local council have a 'trusted traders' site, that rates local tradesman and has online ratings from real customers (you send your review to the council and they publish it online, so the tradesmen don't get to 'select' the ones that are published - we found that really useful.

As for maternity clothes. I got a couple of sale items from Gap maternity just over xmas so picked up a few bargains. I got a pair of skinny jeans (under the bump) and also a pair of bootleg jeans (under the bump) and the leg length is fine for me (I'm about a 33/34 inch leg). I also went to New Look at the weekend and picked up a double pack of black leggings (medium) for lounging about at weekends, and they were also fine in the leg (although I'll probably be wearing them with boots most of the time. I think New Look also do 34 inch leg trousers, they might not have much in store but you can order online.

I think I started wearing maternity bottoms at about 20 weeks, prior to that I persevered with normal trousers and tops (but to be fair as I was off with the mornings sickness, a lot of my 15 week phase was spent in jammies!)

I know what you mean about not feeling pregnant, like Princess I had the vomiting to let me know I was pregnant, but you don't really look preggers at 15/16 weeks, whereas now I have a proper stick out bump :-) And I don't think I felt my little bean kick until about 19 weeks, and DH has only felt the baby kick on the outside twice since 21 weeks. I do love having a bump now, seems to take ages to appear and then all of a sudden it's there (makes you feel much more pregnant!)

Sorry about your kitchen woes princess funny how sales teams and fitters rarely sing from the same song sheet, eh?

Hoping that Euro and Doll will join us soon, but I know it's a big step early doors when you scarcely believe your pregnant and are wary of jinxing it by saying it out loud!

EuroShaggleton Fri 22-Feb-13 14:13:10

Right, I'm feeling brave so I am going to dip a toe into the thread!

I'm finding all the clothes chat interesting. I'm an apple shape but fairly slim. The weight I do carry is all on my belly and I am already daftly bloated every afternoon (quite flat in the morning though), which just makes the flab I store there stick right out! My usual style is very fitted (stretchy polos with skirts for work) so I am not sure how long I will be able to hide it for. I'm planning on shopping this weekend for some non-maternity but slightly skimmier styles for spring to throw people off the scent. I am incredibly nervous so really don't want people guessing before 12 weeks.

<waves to all>

EuroShaggleton Fri 22-Feb-13 14:24:31

I'm just skim reading back to catch up a bit and spotted MrA's poo comment. I was talking to a (male) friend last night and he was saying that at his son's recent birth, his wife's first words were "did I poo?". The midwife was a bit hmm and like, er, by the way, you have a baby here (she didn't by the way). grin

Happy expanding ladies!

princesschick Fri 22-Feb-13 16:25:00

Hello Euro - lovely, lovely to see you over here... long may it continue grin

I would get some trousers / skirts with stretch in; empire line type tops and dresses are your friends too. A lot of people I know also get the expanding waist band things to hook over jeans / trouser buttons. I didn't bother as I went straight from skinny jeans to maternity skinny jeans and had them baggy for a few short weeks. If it makes you feel any better at the Autumn meet up I had a big jumper over my skinny jeans and by the end of the dinner I had to leave the button and zip on said jeans undone (I was 7/8 weeks!)

I'm way past the hiding phase now, so this is irrelevant but I understand how horrible the first few weeks are from a not wanting to tell anyone and being terrified at the same time perspective. I'm confident that this is your time tho and it will be plain sailing and exponential expanding all the way smile

As for me, one word: HUNGRY! I'm like the freaking hungry caterpillar at the moment. I work up ravenous in the night and had to sate my hunger with a belgian chocolate chip cookie. I've also polished a few of those off this afternoon too. That's on top of first and second breakfast (cereal and toast respectively; lunch half a tin of beans, hummus and 3 slices of very small gluten free bread; and then the cookies). My god I've never known hunger like this before! Baby is doing somersaults in there today so is clearly up to something.

So the kitchen stuff is getting better but we think we might we going traditional free standing over Ikea. The installation for the Ikea kitchen is soooooo expensive (no official quote but c. £2k for 3 days work....I mean, £667 a day for a kitchen fitter?), we might as well have a nicer kitchen. Plus we've found a company in Nottingham (random as we are daan saarf) who are happy to work to our puny budget and have a kitchen designer in the area in the next fortnight. Mr P is sold on solid wood furniture. He is nervous about Ikea bodge-a-job workman nailing things to his precious walls. I don't blame him. It will be a little more, but less installation and more in line with what we wanted originally. Here's hoping. In other news, the extractor woes look like they are finally being resolved. It is non stop fun fun fun here! Still I have the day to myself tomorrow including shopping in the morning, lunch and then hairdressers. I quite like a bit of time on my own so this is a heavenly day for me smile

Hope everyone is well. Hugs, waves and buttery white chocolate chip cookies for you all xx

mrsmellow Sat 23-Feb-13 10:03:31

euro YAY!!!! grin I have been without wifi so haven't been keeping up, but am very excited to see you here!
I was more bloated from 8-12 weeks, than 12-18 and only in the last week have a wee bump that doesn't go away in the mornings- it was very frustrating feeling so bloated when you didn't want to talk about it.... I too wear slim fitting clothes normally and really struggled but just bought a couple of loose tops.
Internet will be shortlived (have bought an hour) so just wanted to say hi to all. 20 week scan on Tuesday and feeling kicks here. Life very busy - but hopefully getting wifi at home next week and will catch up properly.

Eletheomel Sun 24-Feb-13 10:01:31

Welcome euro - so glad to have another grad on the board :-)

I'm also an apple shape (although perhaps I wouldnt' describe myself as 'slim' lol :-)

However, I actually find it's a great shape for getting maternity clothes as often in life, my biggest bugbear is getting something to fit my waist that isn't hanging of my hips (I have quite slim hips and legs), but with maternity wear it's perfect, you can get the size you need for your hips with a nice cosy elastic bit for your waist :-D

Only downside for me is that my boobs get even bigger in pregnancy (they're fairly ample normally) and that can cause issues getting tops to fit my boobs without being ridiculously baggy elsewhere - hopefully your boobs will grow to a more reasonable size and you won't have those problems.

I remember about the fear of people working it out before 12 weeks - my biggest concern wasn't so much clothes at work (with it being winter I could wear a zippy top over my work clothes so it hid my thickening waist) but when I was about 5/6 weeks pregnant I totally went off dairy and so had to stop having my 9:30 cup of tea in the morning at work - I felt it was such a giveaway and was coming up with ridiculous excuses. As it turned out, no-one had a clue - but you feel so obvious about everything!

I also found the first 12 weeks to be the slowest (in fact glacial) time period known to man, every day seemed to last for eternity. Pleased that since then, things are moving a bit faster but I'd still like to fastforward to the end and just get the baby!

I have my 41st birthday next (still find it hard to believe I could have gotten this old - how did that happen?) which makes me feel a bit guilty about having a baby so late, not that it was through choice, I'd rather it happened earlier, but you do sometimes wonder if you're being selfish. Ah well, as long as I keep acting like a 20 year old, maybe I can just ignore the birth certificate and forget about it all????

wow - that was a bit, me me me, apologies everyone!

princess I can totally see why you're not paying the ridiculous money for the Ikea fitters. We were doing things on the cheap when we got our ikea kitchen, so we designed it, picked it up in the van and took it home, assembled all the units ourselves (well, my DH did most of it) then we hired a joiner for about £200 to fit them all in and attach our worktops - don't think their fitters could have done a better job to be honest. So, I think the option of having a bespoke kitchen at a fraction of the price is fantastic - sounds way better, and totally worth it.

mellow great to hear from you again - looking forward to you getting all wi-fi-ed up so we can hear more from you :-)

Well, hope you're all having nice weekends (waves to everyone), I'd best go and let me DH head off to Tesco (sunday morning shopping expedition!)

ArtemisTheHunter Sun 24-Feb-13 21:01:34

Hi all

Eleth thanks for the suggestions on where to find clothes. I had a futile shopping trip yesterday - my nearest city (which is one of the biggest in the north of England) doesn't have any maternity shops in the city centre and all the high street shops that usually do maternity clothing didn't actually have ranges in store. I wonder what people do who don't have the facility to shop online. I've done some online ordering today so will just have to accept there'll be a few trips to the post office to return all the things that inevitably won't fit!

Euro great to see you dipping a toe in over here smile. I had bad bloating until 12 weeks but I think it was related to the fanny candles as it's been a lot better since I stopped using them. I'm definitely starting to get a bump but it's not big enough for me to actually look pregnant and it's covered with a layer of fat I swear i didn't have before... I'm so naive, I seriously imagined I'd just look normal for ages and then wake up one morning with a lovely little bump... didn't anticipate the fat stage! It's taken me 16 weeks to need bigger bras though. I have always been a lowly B cup so it was a bit of shock to get measured and be told I needed to go up 2 sizes. The lady brought a few in for me to try and I just said 'there's no way those will fit me, they're MASSIVE'. But she was right shock

Princess good news on the kitchen. Having a proper bespoke one for near enough Ikea prices sounds like a great plan. And brilliant that you're making such progress. You'll be out of the in-laws before you know it. grin at the hunger. I have felt like that since the start, which also helps explain why I look so fat... extreme hunger subsided a bit after about week 12 but I think I've got in the habit of eating more. I'm hoping the midwife doesn't weigh me when i see her this week, though it might be a bit of a wake-up call if she does hmm

MrsM hurrah for the 20 week scan and feeling kicks! I imagine that's the stage at which it starts to feel properly real. Eleth you are right about the first 12 weeks crawling by. I seriously don't think you're selfish for having a baby at 41 - but then I'm not far behind, 40 later this year - though I do think we get bombarded by that word by the media and it's easy to take it to heart. Women can't escape that tag. Single mothers on benefits are 'selfish'. Working mothers are 'selfish'. Those who stay at home and look after their kids instead of contributing to the nation's taxes are 'selfish'. The 'selfish older mother' myth is the biggest one of all. I also think that, pre-contraception, it would have been much more common for women to have babies in their late 30s/early 40s than it is today. Like you said, it's not like it was planned this way. There are advantages to being an older mum as well.

Must be time for a brew. Waves to all smile

TeuchterWahine Mon 25-Feb-13 04:55:56

Oh envy I may be only 15 wks but I definitely look pregnant. Can't hide it. Guess that's the shoddy-sedentary-desk-job stomach muscles, complete with winter insulation layer across the top. But I do still have waist definition, don't necessarily look much different from the rear. Jeans don't fit and leaving the top button undone isn't enough anymore. Pah.

Artemis & MrsM both sets of Grandparents were in their 40s when they had my parents. Took Gran 10 years.
Euro really pleased to see you over here.
Sorry still crap at name checking. Late summer sunshine waves to all.

princesschick Mon 25-Feb-13 12:02:55

Morning all smile
How are we all feeling today? I have my 25 (yes 25 week shock) appointment tomorrow. Can't believe how quickly we're advancing to the end. I'm starting to have birthing dreams / nightmares. Most recently that the baby shot out easily (good) but no-one was there to catch, so baby was dropped on its head (bad) and was completely limp, then I woke up!

Teu I was out of normal jeans by 10 weeks. I didn't look pregnant until about 17 / 18 weeks - just fat. Don't feel bad!

Art I'm really shocked at the ever expanding bra situation too. I bought bras in 38B in Jan as I was measuring 36C but the 36 was a bit on the tight side so she recommended the 38 (I'd gone up from a 34C). The 38 is now getting tight and I might need a 40! This is ridiculous! I've been a very comfortable 32/34 for years now! I think I'll need to go and get the bangers re-measured later this week as I'm ruddy uncomfortable.

Euro I've seen some of the midwife chat on the other thread and thought I'd let you know how it's working out for me. I have the same community mid-wife for all of my check-ups. I HATED her to start with as she said some ridiculous things about our situation at the booking in appointment (and she is morbidly morbidly obese with huge hands and made comments about my weight - 9 stone 11 at 10 weeks pregnant, BMI right in the middle - yet she commented about adding half an inch to my height and knocking half a kilo off my weight to bring my BMI down "every little helps, dear" - I was shock and angry at this patronising and frankly ridiculous comment! Don't even get me started about her comments on long term TTC, our experience of the consultant and my previous miscarriages - "oh, you'll be on the edge of your seat through this pregnancy and I won't give you one of these just in case, with your history" - angry angry angry). However, the situation has improved, my notes are impeccable and she is very accurate - that's all I want from her. She's actually been lovely to us since and not at all patronising. I'm not going to have (well, don't think I'll have) a home birth and I've opted for the local hospital as our MWU is far away. I probably won't have her at the birth - it will be the midwifes on shift at the time we go in. I am however considering a doula - just as a back up and someone who has seen the process before so that they can get help if it's needed. It's just a money thing at the moment as to whether or not we do this. Although my lovely lovely yoga teacher has offered her doula service for expenses because she has just finished training. I may take her up, but Mr P is starting to think it's getting too many cooks. My friend who had a baby at the same hospital recently had a brilliant experience and had no complaints; equally I've got two friends who've had home births in the last month and both have been straight forward and lovely. I'm really starting to wonder if home-birth might be something I look into more seriously in the next few weeks. I'm still nervous about things going wrong and being 10 miles away from hospital.

Ele I don't think you should be feeling selfish for having a baby at 41. I don't think that's old at all! As others have said there are pros and cons to all ages you have kids. I've got loads of friends whose parents had them in their 40s and they were all bright, healthy and well balanced individuals. Their parents had good jobs and instilled lots of confidence in them. They were also much more relaxed about some of the bigger picture stuff. My parents had me very young and whilst there are clearly some benefits (lots of energy) and they were wonderful parents, they did get somethings wrong because they didn't have the depth and breadth of experience one has a more grown up grown up. They have been a lot more chilled with my brother (10 years younger than me). They were also looked down on by teachers etc for being "young parents" despite my Dad having a very successful career with lots of responsibility from a young age. I don't think you have to deal with people being so patronising when you are a bit older. I also think that having kids in your early 30s (which seems to be the norm these days) isn't the greatest time either - I'm really worried about my job prospects after the baby and having to take time out for future babies. I'm not really established enough to make this a great time to have a family but also, I'm not at the bottom that I would want to start again in something different after having children or be stimulated enough by a low paid job (that I may have been happier with if I'd sprogged early and started my career later IYSWIM). I personally think I'm going to struggle in my career over the next few years. I already feel I've lost a few years due the toll that TTC took on me and because I had a big about turn in my mid-20s when I went from a film/TV career to finance career. I could be much further up the ladder by now in either profession if I'd have had the mental strength to push on - sadly I don't deal with pressure very well and crumble quite easily. If I'd have stuck with things in the past or pushed myself harder or have been a stronger person I would be in a position to go back part time at a much more senior level or consult or be freelance on a decent salary but I've made my choices and life is what it is and I can't change who I am. I wasn't mentally strong enough to push myself after the miscarriages and I've taken the easy option of working for the family firm, which is well paid but a bit dead end. I'm not worrying too much at the moment though because I'm just grateful to have a baby on the way and a job that pays a decent(ish) middling income. Life could be so much worse! Anyway, I refuse to feel trapped. I can deal with job stuff later, I just know it's not going to be a bed of roses!

The kitchen has taken us in a very unexpected direction this weekend. We now have to replan the kitchen because of a big problem, which means moving the electrics and supplies around. Woe. Neither of us slept on Friday night and DH is feeling wretched about some of the decisions he's made. But the good news is the new bespoke company are much nicer, more knowledgeable and more accommodating. And it looks like it won't take too much time to sort out the problems. I'm hoping to get this ironed out this week so that we can enjoy our weekend away in Paris this coming weekend. Our last pre-baby foreign trip! Eek!

Christ, I've written a whole essay. I've missed my usual snack break and I must press on with work! I'm in the 10 week winding down until maternity leave kinda mood now, especially as the potential replacement me is being interviewed today. He could be in soon and then I can hand everything over. I have no idea what I'll do when / if that happens! Maybe I'll get the final exam I need to do out of the way; maybe I'll just be given odds and sods to work on. Who knows!?

Luffs and waves to all xxx

EuroShaggleton Mon 25-Feb-13 13:27:06

princess the renovations sound like hard work! I'm glad you are happy with the new designer.

Ele I don't think you are selfish for having a baby at 41 at all. I know peronally that if I had had a baby in my 20s it would have been wrong for me. I wasn't ready to give over a big chunk of my life to looking after someone else. I feel more than ready now.

art I wish I could go from slim to neat bump, but it's just not going to happen, I fear. I already feel a bit thicker around the waist, although it is mostly bloating. I have put on 1.5lbs in the past fortnight. I think it has mostly gone on my boobs though. confused Did you take the fanny candles all the way up to 12 weeks? I am so sick of them. I never imagned that when diffed I would end up using more sanpro than ever!

Teu it's good to find you over here!

mrsmellow how amazing to feel kicks!

BerylThePerilous Wed 27-Feb-13 17:32:23

Hello everyone! I’m sorry not to have posted in a while. Things have been pretty hectic – we’re getting married soon and there are so many things to organise, despite it being a very low key affair. I hope everyone is doing well, if not positively blooming. (I keep waiting for that bit…still waiting…)

Hi euro! It’s lovely to see you over here smile. I hope the next few weeks go as quickly and as smoothly as possible for you. You did make me grin with the poo story!

Princess, I can’t believe some of the comments your MW made! But great that she is being much nicer now. I know what you mean about the home birth dilemma: it sounds so appealing and relaxing – when you don’t think about the fact that there are no medical people nearby, just in case… So we’re thinking we’ll just go to the local MWU, which is attached to the hospital. Actually, I need to sort that our as I’m currently booked in with a hospital in London (we moved out but didn’t get round to changing GPs for a while). But my 20 week scan is next week, and I didn’t want to risk losing that by changing things right now. The whole doula thing sounds amazing and expensive! Are you going to take up your yoga teacher’s offer? Good luck with the renovations – you’re on the home straight now!

Artemis I sympathise with the futile shopping trip. I did much the same thing a few weeks ago. I usually hate buying clothes online, but I guess I’ll have to get over that now… On the growing bump issue, I know exactly what you mean about the fat stage! It feels like I’ve been hovering there for ages. However, this week the bump seems to have popped out a bit possibly more to do with the amount of stodge I’ve been putting away…I’m so HUNGRY!! Of course, now I’ve chosen a dress for the wedding, I’m starting to panic about it popping out too quickly between now and the Big Day…

I hope you have a lovely time on your birthday, Eleth. As the others have said, there are lots of benefits to having children in your 30s or 40s, so please don’t feel down. Thanks also for the tips on maternity clothes. I really need to stock up with a few more bits and pieces.

Well, I’m sure I’ve missed out loads, for which apologies. Big waves to everyone else, stacks, lady, mrsm, heart!

ArtemisTheHunter Thu 28-Feb-13 09:24:43

Princess wow Paris! Enjoy - sure it will be fab (even if you can't eat all the lovely stinky cheese). Hope your kitchen issues are resolved, I'm sure the bespoke one will look terrific. I'm glad your midwife has learnt to behave. I loved the idea of home water birth initially but it being my first I'm terrified nervous and would rather know medical assistance is nearby. Also our carpets are relatively new... Were your friends with home birth having first babies? grin at the expanding bras. I didn't know my back would expand too (it is increasingly becoming apparent how little i know). I'm in the same band size because apparently I was probably wearing the wrong size to start with hmm but am a bit freaked out by how different my tops look! I got ready for a meeting the other day and Mr A blurted out 'bloody hell, look at your boobs' blush. He is not even a boob man particularly. Not used to being self conscious about my chest! I guess it balances out the rest of my rapidly expanding body... Clothing saga continues. I ordered some maternity trousers a size bigger than the size I usually wear and had to send them back for being too snug. Not happy at first, though judging by the feedback on Feefo that company's clothes come up on the small side. Need to vamp up my exercise I think and stop thinking it's OK to eat buns all the time

Euro yep I had the fanny candles to 12 weeks. 10 weeks of 2 per day and then the last fortnight down to 1 at night which made a huge difference to the amount of mess! I sympathise on the sanpro front. Our carpet never recovered blush

Hi Beryl, good to see you! I'd love to know when the bloom starts. I'm just fat and patchy. Got some really dry skin patches on my face and body and i get really itchy, especially at night, which combined with waking up for a wee every couple of hours does not make for restful sleep! I could write an essay on 'pregnancy side effects nobody warned me about'.

Does anyone here have experience of NCT antenatal classes? I've heard mixed reviews but am about to take the plunge having discovered that our NHS entitlement is to one 3-hour 'parentcraft' class one Saturday morning which is supposed to prepare us for childbirth, breastfeeding and the birth of a newborn hmm. The midwife suggested even those might have been pulled by the time of my next appt in 9 weeks because they don't have capacity to deliver them any more. How reassuring. As total ingenues I think we need a bit more than that! The only other thing i can find is one-to-one hypnobirthing which I would love to do but is double the price, and i do think we might benefit from the contact with other people at NCT since I know absolutely nobody with babies or young children. Mr A proudly told me he'd been holding an 8 week old baby yesterday. A colleague popped in to show off her newborn and one of his friends collared him and said 'get in there and practice' grin. They thought he was 'a natural' apparently smile. More so than me. I've been avoiding babies for so long I can't remember the last time I held one. I was probably about 25 and I think it was immediately sick on me hmm

I'd better get to work. Lots to do today! Hugs and waves to all, sunny here, hope it is where you are smile

ArtemisTheHunter Thu 28-Feb-13 09:25:53

Ooh Beryl I forgot to say congratulations on the impending wedding! I'm sure the dress will look just gorgeous smile

FormerlyKnownAsPrincessChick Wed 06-Mar-13 10:11:16

Morning all,

Just checking in to say hi as it's been quiet here. I hope it means that everyone is ok.

Ladygee how are you getting on? You must be very, very close now?

Beryl I'm sure you'll look lovely in your dress. I think there's something really special about pregnant brides. It adds another dimension to a lovely day. Maybe I'm prejudiced as my mum was pregnant with me when she got married and I love that I am the small bump behind the posy of flowers in their pictures.

We had a lovely time in Paris. It was very, very cold but we did and ate lots of lovely things. Back to reality now! The house is still proving to be a sod and I've had another wobble as we are away again this weekend for my sister's graduation / mother's day. That means as of Monday we have only have 13 weeks before baby is here (assuming he doesn't arrive early - eek!) and we have Mr P's birthday and allsorts of hospital appointments coming up later this month. It just seems too much and things seem to be running away like an out of control steam train. Mr P is going to take next week off work to try and make up for lost time as I was quite weepy this morning. I've also managed to hurt my back, my bump is huge and the nausea has started up again. Plus I find it really hard to come back to the in laws after being away and having time together. Probably the intermittent cold shower with loss of pressure that tipped me over the edge this morning...

Anyway, we've started hypnobirthing. So far, so good. I'm enjoying the relaxation CDs we were given and especially the birth affirmation track, which I can listen to whilst I work. Baby seems to like the birthing affirmations too. I think it may be the plinky plonky music as we seem to get lots of reactions to plinky plonky spa type music... For those wondering, I think that books / CDs would probably be fine if you can't get to a course or don't want to shell out (I think it's expensive - £225 for 4 x 3 hour sessions, book, CDs and course materials - but it's really important to me so that I can try and eliminate anxiety as I am prone to bouts of anxiety and at worst have panic attacks - which I don't want as I know that someone else will take control of my birth if I lose it). And you do kinda have to go with things like "rainbow relaxation" which won't be everyone's cup of tea! I know that my family would be like this grin grin grin if they saw me and Mr P doing deep relaxation exercises to the rainbow relaxation track - lying in beautiful mist of purple, the colour of the mind and now a mist of vibrant blue the colour of the throat.... I can go with it though as I understand the whole rationale behind it, which makes total sense to me.

Odd things I've noticed as well, not sure if anyone else has, my leg hair has pretty much stopped growing, I have no belly hair (I was expecting the big stripe), loads of CM type stuff and (sorry if TMI) my nipples have gone really, really dark. I guess this is all normal? Anyone else experiencing weird changes?

Bump is getting a lot of attention now it's huge. We spoke to a few Parisians who wanted to know if it was my first baby (I speak ok-ish, rusty school girl french and could answer). I also blagged a table in a busy restaurant by telling the waiter that I was pregnant and hungry (they had told us that they absolutely had no tables left - our hotel had booked the wrong restaurant)! I actually don't mind the belly rubs I've been getting (from friends, no strangers yet, that may be a different story!) - I know a lot of people hate it - but I'm quite a tactile / huggy person, so I think it's quite nice (and it means I'm not a total ogre that people don't want to approach!)

Oh and people are trying to guess the sex. Hairdresser has put a fiver on baby being a boy. He said he's a bit of a white witch about these things; I said that his odds were pretty good and he looked a bit taken aback! I've changed my mind and I'm starting to think that he might be a she, especially with the leg hair situation and the fact that I ov'd 2 days after we DTD but then, who knows, I can't wait to find out now - not long!

Right best get back to work. Hope you are all well. Lots of love xxxx

P.s. I name changed last week after a slightly horrible events on the 10+ board with an imposter - in case anyone was wondering.

Heart7 Wed 06-Mar-13 15:04:45

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Eletheomel Fri 08-Mar-13 21:32:50

Hello everyone!

Sorry for being so intermittent with posting just now, seem to be getting very tired a lot so tend to use my 'downtime' chilling out. I now have 7 weeks of work left before my maternity leave starts (yes, I am counting it down) and so so looking forward to it. They're giving me loads of work to do just now, on the basis that I can get things started and other folk can take them over once I leave, was okay with it at first, but not finding there's just not enough time to get everything moving, so might have to say something if it doesn't improve in the next few weeks

Heart - yes I did do NCT courses the last time. I found them really good for a few reasons, one: at the time I didn't know anyone else that was pregnant, and we don't really have any friends in the small town we live (we've always worked in the closest city and commuted, and we live on a main street so no cul-de-sac socialising) so it was really good for me to meet other new mums. We had quite a small class (6 couples) and I'm still in touch with 3 of the women (I meet up with one of them every couple of weeks) so I found it a nice way to meet friends - although obviously there's no guarantee you'll like anyone on your course!

Our instructor was really nice and I enjoyed the classes, they did a few sessions where all the men would work together on an exercise/activity and the women would get a different/related activity - and I thought it was really good, they done a really good role-play type exercise on being new parents where you got to read statements from how the new mum felt and the new dad (real life stuff) and got to see the pressures that could come from new parenthood and how important it is to keep communicating (all common sense stuff, but I found it useful, esp with the dads being there too, I think my DH got a lot out of it, helped you see things from the other sides perspective, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, in short, I found the classes really worth while and am glad I did them :-)

I also totally agree about online maternity shopping, I got several pairs of jeans/jumpers from GAP maternity online in the post xmas sales, which are great, but the only thing I've bought in shops so far are 2 pairs of maternity leggings from New Look (great for weekend lounging) and a navy blue hoodie (also for weekend leisure wear :-) I'd hate to think what it's like trying to get maternity gear if you're not au fait with online shopping.

princess glad you had a great time in paris (mind you, how could you not have a great time in paris?) so jealous, not sure when we'll get abroad again, we keep reminiscing about Italy and how much we love it (we were planing to go this spring as we weren't expecting to conceive so had lined that up as a 'something to do that we couldnt do if we had a new baby' kind of thing (I'm sure you all know what I mean about lining up non-baby stuff in the future to keep you going!) And of course, we have a new baby on the way (which is obviously much better than just going to Italy as we can do that many times in the future) but it has made us think about when will we ever do it, maybe thinking about next year, but I'll need to get a new passport (first time since I turned 20 that I've allowed my passport to expire!)

I am also sporting outrageously dark nipples and very little leg hair (long may that continue, eh!). No stretchmarks yet, but I got them late on with DS (week 35 or something) so fully expect them to show, but at the moment my bump is mark free.

I had my 28 week scan on wednesday and the uterine arterial notching that had appeared at my 20 week scan has resolved itself, which is great news. My BP and urine was also good, so all in all things are okay just now. They take more bloods so not had the results of those yet, so could still find out I'm anaemic or something, but generally feeling good. I've got another scan at 34 weeks just as its their policy for folk that have had a 28 wk scan for the notching, just to check the growth and make sure the baby is growing okay. It's quite nice to have another scan to break up the next 12 weeks, although not sure if DH will make it, as it's a late morning appointment and he's not got much annual leave left, but we'll see how it goes.

Princess can't believe you had to change your name because of an imposter - how bizarre is that? You wonder what drives some folk.

Anyway, I really must start posting more regularly as I'm fairly rabbiting on here.

Hope everyone is doing well (and ladygee - any signs of impending baby yet?)

Big waves and hugs to you all (hope you're all doing well)

ArtemisTheHunter Sun 10-Mar-13 15:17:19

Hi all

I'm having a skive break from work (yes, working today) and thought I'd pop in and catch up briefly. Hope everyone is fine.

Princess I'm glad you had a great time in Paris. I'm with Eleth in being a wee bit envy - yes, I do know all about the 'things we can do because we don't have kids' planning! We did look into a European city break but opted for a week away in a cottage at Easter instead. But nowhere beats Paris!

How are you getting on with the house Princess? I hope Mr P's week off has made a dent in the to-do list. I know 13 weeks seems like a short time but actually it's a quarter of a year, you will get there, remember how the first 12 weeks of pregnancy seemed to take forever? Time plays tricks and I have every confidence you'll be in your new house in plenty of time to welcome your firstborn smile

Thanks for the update on hypnobirthing Princess and for the NCT info Eleth. I'm glad we've got NCT booked even though it's a while away, one thing less to think about, but I might get hold of a hypnobirthing book/CD anyway. The only tuition I could find here was 1:1 and while it sounded great it cost £400+ so we went with NCT which was half the price and involves meeting other people, which I think we need. Though I figure the more relaxation tools at my/our disposal the better even if they do involve rainbows!

Heart I'm glad it's not just me with maternity wear trauma! I've had some online ordering success, mainly from Seraphine, but 70% of what I've ordered has gone back. For now I'm doing OK with non-maternity empire line dresses and tops in a size bigger than I would normally wear. Despite general weight gain I'm still not showing to the extent that anyone would guess which is worrying me a bit at 18 weeks. Shouldn't I have a bump by now?! I have had bad experiences with bra fitters in M&S, I don't honestly think they know their stuff, if you're uncomfortable they probably have not fitted you properly. I was sent this link by another lovely mumsnetter which is really helpful on how bras should fit - though it is very disparaging of M&S!

On weird changes the main thing I'm getting is itching. My skin's gone really dry and my limbs and torso itch like mad - worse when i get in bed and am not distracted from it. On the plus side my hair is less greasy! Haven't noticed any lack of leg hair unfortunately. I think the other things probably await me a bit further along.

How are you all feeling about mother's day? I'm very hmm about it, partly because I have several friends who have lost their mums, one very recently, and also because I've spent so many mother's days being sad at not being a mum and really feel for others in that situation. Being pregnant actually hasn't made all that go away. We are not counting any proverbial chickens until they actually hatch so i just don't feel it applies to me. Last week me and Mr A had the following conversation:
Mr A: it's mother's day soon
Me: yes I know
Mr A: Too early for you this year
Me: I know
Mr A: Next year I'll have to go to the shops and get you a card and say 'It got you this'
Me: hmm

Sometimes I find it hard to remember Mr A is actually a romantic!

Right, back to the report - not complaining though - I'm freelance and know from past experience that I'm always overstretched at the financial year end. If I wasn't it would be time to worry!

Love to everyone, hope you are all OK.

ArtemisTheHunter Sun 10-Mar-13 15:19:10

Eleth forgot to say great news about your scan, really good that the problem has resolved itself and it will be nice and reassuring to have another scan lined up too. My 20wk scan is about 10 days away and I can't help being anxious about it.

Heart7 Mon 11-Mar-13 22:03:58

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FormerlyKnownAsPrincessChick Tue 19-Mar-13 09:36:40

Morning all smile

Well I'm sat here bouncing and rocking on my birthing ball and listening to my "birthing" playlist - I thought I'd start putting it together so I've just something I can stick on and guarantee I'll like. It's all very soothing and not really conducive to working blush. Still, the third trimester doesn't seem to be treating me very well (28 weeks yesterday) - I've had a bad back since Paris and I'm also contending with insane tiredness and the return of morning sickness. Baby is getting very strong and belting me regularly. It seems to find puke time particularly entertaining and seems to like sticking one if its feet / shoulders / hands right into me when I'm over the bucket! As if to say "yay,!" Maybe I'll return the favour in 18 years time wink

Besides this everything is fine and they are mere niggles in the grand scheme. Also reassuring to have a very active baby. I did have a morning of no movement a couple of weeks ago, which is very unusual, so I drank a big glass of icy water and got a lot of response. A bit like putting the poor little bugger under an icy shower I guess. My siblings thought it to be particularly cruel and then made me feel very guilty! "Aw...I bet he was having a lie in and was all snoozy and warm and you went and doused him in freezy water". hmm

So, hypnobirthing is going ridiculously well. Last session next week. I'm so happy we decided to do it. It's great to have Mr P so on board with everything. We are now contemplating home birth.

I'm not going to mention the house because it's a continuing source of stress and I'm just trying to focus on the positives in life read as had major strop and tantrum over the weekend triggering migraine and causing Mr P to be very upset

Hopefully you are all feeling well and blooming

Heart I had the same twinges on Mother's Day but had had some tears a couple of weeks earlier about the babies that are not here. It's really hard but I do feel at peace - I guess so much time has passed now. It would have been my 4th Mother's Day as a mum if they had worked out. Craziness.

Ele hope the last few weeks of work are going well / fast. Glad that the notching has rectified itself - good news indeed.

Art That's very sweet of Mr A. Mr P was also hmm when I mentioned that some people get a card from their bump. I clearly said that I didn't want one as felt it was a bit creepy (I'm just superstitious). Next year however, I expect breakfast in bed, card, present and lunch grin. Mr P was like, surely you get a card when the baby is big enough to get you a card itself. I'm not liking where this is going! When I mentioned Father's Day and how he wouldn't be wanting any sort of present or special treatment he decided to have a little rethink about the situation!

Right back to work. 40 days of work left and counting down........ grin Waves to all.

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