Advanced search

Too feel a little upset with my sister in law?

(186 Posts)
teenmum18 Tue 16-Jul-19 10:51:04

This is really bugging me and I need to know if I was in the wrong here.

Last Monday my 2 DD's were sick just the once.
Nothing else after that and they were perfectly fine.

Friday we travelled to my db and sil to visit them. They have a 5yo and 6 week old twins.

Whilst we were there my dd5 went white as a sheet and said her belly hurt. Took her to the toilet and she had a really runny belly.
After 10 mins she perked up and we left about 30 minutes after.
Later on in the evening dd had a few more diarrhoea episodes and went to bed. But dd2 woke up early hours in the morning and vomited confused but since then both have been fine.

My mum was on the phone to db this morning and he told her that they had all been sick since our visit. DN5 wouldn't speak to my mum on the phone and kept screaming every time she spoke to him. Sil got on the phone and said that "that little girl had brought the sick bug down to them" meaning my dd.
My mum explained that I wouldn't of taken the kids to see them if they was poorly, and that they'd been sick once 4 days before the visit. My mum was pretty pissed off when she phoned me this morning because it sounded like they'd all been talking (sil parents are staying with them) about my dd.

Was I in the wrong? I feel so bad especially because the have tiny babies. But how was I to know 😔

AwakeNow Mon 22-Jul-19 21:42:11


AwakeNow Mon 22-Jul-19 21:38:57

It was 4 days after! Your sister-in-law is their unreasonable one. It is up to HER to cancel if she feels 4 days is goo soon. If she is that concerned she either speak up and cancel, or else put up and shut up.

MarthasGinYard Sun 21-Jul-19 13:38:33

'Honest, I don't blame sil for being upset. She's got 6 week old twins. In your position I would have phoned her and put the ball in her court "Dd have both been sick Monday, they're fine since, do you still want us to come? "'


'Seen it on a WhatsApp group"

Possibly not with new twins to look after.

Nottalotta Sun 21-Jul-19 13:32:42

Honest, I don't blame sil for being upset. She's got 6 week old twins. In your position I would have phoned her and put the ball in her court "Dd have both been sick Monday, they're fine since, do you still want us to come? "

Aworldofmyown Sun 21-Jul-19 12:15:23

You left 4 days between, kids are sick for a multitude of reasons that are not always sickness bugs.

I think that the two incidents were probably unrelated. Seems pretty unfair but to be honest I would just ignore.

Tp93 Sun 21-Jul-19 12:07:41

My sister brought her son yo my house who had a cold which I didn't know about. He was playing with my 5 month old daughters toys. Turned out he had hand foot and mouth disease and gave it to my daughter. I was absolutely livid!
She was sick for almost 2 weeks and I was forced to stop breastfeeding which was important to me as I was stressed and wasn't sleeping well so wasn't producing enough milk.
But she's alive and well and we moved on from it and if we visit we ask if any of the kids are sick before visiting each other. Probably was best to keep them home, but you weren't to know your children were still unwell. Give them time and visit when her twins are a bit older for your sils peace of mind 🙂

Isatis Sun 21-Jul-19 11:41:39

Lovelyissues, if you knew your relatives' children had had this illness and hadn't done anything to stop them from coming, why would you be furious with the relative?

PurpleDaisies Sun 21-Jul-19 08:38:12

She has every right to be annoyed. In fact I would be fuming with you
Why? She waited for the required length of time.

Namenic Sun 21-Jul-19 08:37:04

When will db go back to work? 5 days after last symptoms???? What if his colleague has a newborn? Your relatives knew your DD had been sick - you were fine.

LovelyIssues Sun 21-Jul-19 07:30:19

She has every right to be annoyed. In fact I would be fuming with you

Nearly47 Thu 18-Jul-19 18:30:59

Medical experts also say the amount of pesticides in our food aren't dangerous. I go from my experience in this case and the risks for all involved. And by what the OP said her kids were still sick during the visit. Kind of proving my point. I would wait over a week without symptoms to visit a newborn.

PurpleDaisies Thu 18-Jul-19 16:06:46

You’re being ridiculous Nearly47. Medical experts have said 48 hours is long enough. Again, what makes you think you know better? How long should the op have waited? Three days? A week? A month?

Nearly47 Thu 18-Jul-19 16:04:19

If you care about the people in question, yes.

PurpleDaisies Thu 18-Jul-19 15:58:41

You’re asking people to be more careful than neonatal intensive care units require Nearly47. Look at what Great Ormond Street ask of people visiting very, very sick newborns. I posted it further up the thread. No symptoms for 48 hours. What makes you think you know better than them?

Nearly47 Thu 18-Jul-19 15:52:18

People saying that is unrelated. The bug will travel from one person to another and sometimes you are infected and have no symptoms. My eldest had norovirus he caught at school but was very mild and only vomited once. Two days later my youngest got it much worse. And then a couple of days later my DH. I didn't get it but could be that I was still infected since I looked after all of them. So this two days thing is relative and not so precise and when it come to newborns you need to be supercarefull

PurpleDaisies Thu 18-Jul-19 15:47:41

So if anyone has been sick in my family I wouldn't have visited.

For how long?

Nearly47 Thu 18-Jul-19 15:46:12

I think you were a bit careless. But Ive seen a baby bedding hospitalised because of a common cold. So if anyone has been seek in my family I wouldn't have visited. The same with my frail in laws (They take months to get completely better from a flu)

busyhonestchildcarer Thu 18-Jul-19 13:25:19

If she is breastfeeding odd thatthey should get ill.Sickness was 4 days before so most people would have thought you were fine and as she knew it was down to her to stop the visit.Its not your fault xx

EllenMP Thu 18-Jul-19 08:12:30

YANBU. You were well outside the 48 hour window that we are told is the infectious time. Not your fault.

Jamiefraserskilt Wed 17-Jul-19 23:44:56

After vomiting, any remaining bad stuff goes south so an episode of bum sickness is common. If your other dd then got sick again, it could have come from their house. It could come from shopping trolley they used or anything. Bad as it may be, and it is bad looking after babies if you are unwell yourself, kids get sick. It is not as if they were unaware of their illness earlier that week and postponed your visit.
Also calling your daughter That young girl instead of her name was bloody rude.

winniestone37 Wed 17-Jul-19 23:07:19

So there was definitely 4 days? If so it's unrelated, your Dd had a new bug it it wasn't even her. Was it definitely 4 days though?

Skandiminsk Wed 17-Jul-19 23:02:17

You didn't do anything wrong. Your kids were ill Monday, you saw family Friday. Everyone knew the situation and it's just one of those coincidental things! Unfortunately, for your bro & SIL with a young family of a 5yr old & 6wk twins, they are tired/exhausted and feel it more than anyone else. You're not to blame, and they could have suggested to you not to come on that day if they thought it might have affected them or their children. Don't worry about it. Everyone is fine x

MummyMayo1988 Wed 17-Jul-19 22:55:02

OP you couldn't have known!
You should wait 72 hours after being sick/ funny tummy and seeing anyone - which you did. How does SIL know your DD didn't catch it off hers?!
Kids catch bugs and upset tummys and all sorts; especially from school. This year my DS (5) has had at least 4 tummy bugs. Sickness, diarrhoea... the works. It's a part of childhood! Dont think anything of it. Her kids will get ill like any others.

PurpleDaisies Wed 17-Jul-19 22:00:42

If there was a slightest risk of infecting them (clearly sick 4 days before) there is no way you should have gone near them. Selfish and inconsiderate.

This is ridiculous. The children would have been allowed into neonatal intensive care units with some of the sickest children in the country are since more than 48 hours had passed since they had last had symptoms.

scubadive Wed 17-Jul-19 21:55:19

You were completely irresponsible taking 2 young children who both had (and could still, did still have) a sickness bug to s family with a 5 yr old and 6 WEEK OLD TWINS OMG. They need a sickness bug like a whole in the head, I would be completely fuming with you and then some.

It's nothing to do with your DD youre the one at fault. Did you put yourself in their mums position at all, can't imagine how difficult 5 week twins are plus a 5 year old. If there was a slightest risk of infecting them (clearly sick 4 days before) there is no way you should have gone near them. Selfish and inconsiderate.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »